My endo appointment went WAY better than expected! She is my hero and I will always be grateful to her for helping me get back to myself, even if she was just doing her job. 

While I am excited for myself, I’m worried for my sister. Yesterday morning she said she might be admitted to the hospital because she wasn’t responding to her allergy shots. Not sure how allergies alone could land a person in the hospital, so they must have been complicating something else along the way. I’m waiting for an update, wherever she is. Her life in Florida hasn’t been any better than it was in Connecticut. At least she doesn’t get snowed on there. We’re all hoping she’ll be enjoying her new home if not better health soon enough. I just wish she would get off the damn cigarettes. I understand that only she can do that in her own time and only if she truly wants to, but it sure would make a world of difference. I should know! 

So my endo was late, as usual, and dealing with the traffic and the valet parking was a bitch as well. The waiting room, which is for several doctors, was more crowded than I’ve ever seen it before. I was pissed that I forgot my smartphone because someone’s brat was screaming on and off. 

When the doctor first came in, she said hello and asked how I was doing. I told her I was doing great and she said something to the effect of, “That’s not what I’ve been hearing this morning.” At first I thought she was saying A told her I wasn’t doing well, but then it quickly registered that she was talking about patients she’d seen earlier. It seems endocrinologists also deal with diabetic patients as well. 

She too, cut her hair, though a little shorter than mine. She also seemed to look and sound 10 years younger. Maybe feeling better makes the world and the people in it appear younger? She’s still my hero either way. 

I’m guessing she only sees patients in the mornings because she plays games on Facebook in the afternoons. By noon she had hit the slots. 

Anyway, I totally expected her to want to push me up to 100 mcg and to practically have to beg and plead with her to please give me more time to enjoy the bliss I have been enjoying for not even two months before I go worrying about pocket flares and having to feel anxious every time Tom leaves the house and I’m alone with my heart to take me on whatever kind of joy ride it might feel like taking me on. 

Instead, she both surprised and delighted me by informing me that I was 90% there. Yes! She said she might want to nudge me up to 88 mcg in the future, but for now, anything under 10 (different places use different measuring systems) isn’t dangerous. Also, just when I thought I’d finally learned it all, I learned that my thyroid is about as dead as it’s ever going to get. I thought once the thyroid came under attack, the antibodies continued the attack until the gland was 100% dead, but not necessarily. This means that 75 mcg could very well be my proper dose for the rest of my life. Because I’m slightly over 4.50, my level has room to fluctuate either way without throwing me into the hyper range and messing me up the way it did before. She said she’s not convinced the pocket flares were 100% responsible for the severe anxiety I experienced, but I pretty much am, knowing what’s normal for me and what’s not. We may never fully know what did what for sure, but I’d say it’s a pretty damn good guess that 75 mcg was too much for me at the time. I was in the normal range a year ago, so it wouldn’t have taken much to flip me from hypo to hyper. 

She mentioned my weight being stable. I realize that I’ll never lose more than the 5 pounds I’ve lost unless I damn near starve myself, though I’m ok with staying in the 140s. I look a lot lighter than I am due to being muscular, and this is obviously the weight my body feels comfortable at. If you diet and exercise without change, then that usually means your body has found its natural comfort zone so long as nothing’s wrong. So for the sake of setting realistic goals, mine is to never go over 150 pounds. 

She listened to my heart and lungs, checked for trembling, and did a symptom check with me. I let her know that my hair was thickening up and growing faster, my skin was less dry, and that I was sleeping better and not experiencing any anxiety. She asked if I felt cold at all, but I don’t unless it’s cold out and I’m inadequately dressed. I definitely don’t miss that cold feeling and always having to pee. The brain fog and dizziness got old, too. 

On the way out I thanked her for not giving up on me and she said she never gives up on anyone. It was definitely a long and sometimes scary road to get to where I’m at now, but I’m just glad I finally got here after a year and a half! The disease might be simple enough to treat, but getting your proper dose figured out can be a real bitch. 

After we waited forever for the valet people to bring us our shiny Caddy, we went to Jack-n-the-Box for burgers and fries and then headed home. Because I was so excited at the good news the doc gave me, and knowing I would be appointment-free for over a month (my pulse was elevated for a while at just over 100), I suddenly felt exhausted and crashed early. I won't see her again till September 21st.