Today I have felt the most refreshed since returning home. I’m really starting to get caught up on things, including working out. I haven’t gotten to any reading yet, though, and I’m still behind in blogs.

I contemplated wishing Andy a happy birthday in a few days, but then I got curious and checked his Ask account for the first time in a while. It now sports another classic arrogant quote about saying how it is, which really means how he thinks it is. This tells me something about him. It’s a classic reminder that some things – and people – never do change. Hell, Tammy’s changed more than he has. So… I decided against the birthday wishes as I realized that nothing would ever change and that I really do need to continue moving on. I appreciate that he’s allowing me to do so in peace too, and not pestering me anywhere. He doesn’t appear to follow any of my blogs, so that’s a good sign. One saying he too, has moved on. Besides, he’s too sensitive to read this and I don’t want to hurt his feelings despite the fact that I was totally honest with him before I let him go. We’re just too different and I accept that he is who he is. Part of accepting that is letting him go and just getting on with our lives. We can’t change people. Only they can change themselves. The guy’s in his 50s. He’s never going to lose his arrogant, negative, immature ways. Again, he’s not a bad person. I don’t hate him. I don’t wish him any drama. He was/is miserable. I get that. But I don’t need to be dragged down with him and all the other annoyances that came with associating with him. Subtle but obvious annoyances not typical of a true friend.

No matter how well he may think he knows me (and he may’ve known some parts of me very well), and wishes I was him, I’m not him. I don’t feel, think, believe and experience everything he does, and well, I never will. The jealousy, the stupidity (perhaps deliberately to annoy me?)…it just got old. I spent more time feeling sad and embarrassed for him than anything else. This wasn’t someone who got on my nerves only every once in a while but regularly instead. The pot fucked with his brain. I get that, too. But damn did I get tired of having to repeat myself so often! Dealing with my own brain fog is enough. I may not be nearly as bad as he is, but my memory still isn’t what it used to be. Either way, I’m glad we have both been able to move on from each other and I personally hope the feeling is totally mutual and that he’s not interested in contacting me any more than I am in contacting him.

I appreciate the good times we had together. I’ll always smile or giggle at some of the shit we did… until I remember the horrible way he treated me mainly from 2010-2013… accusing me of making up my health problems, making us pay for prank calls to us when we were broke, making fun of my driving phobia, defending my past perps, and insulting my husband who never said or did a goddamn thing to him. Some friend he was for the most part, huh?

LOL, life goes on. :)