Tom’s back to cranking out the overtime to finish paying off the trip (regardless of whether we do or don’t get refunded), and I’m still working at winning, too. The higher pay and the way OT is done in this state makes it too hard to pass up. Saturday will be a $200 day.

I’m even going to splurge on a new Keurig coffeemaker probably this weekend. There’s one for $144 that not only lets you add a wallpaper pic, which I thought was cool but has multiple features. It’s their latest model, the 2.0, and I plan to get a variety of coffees, teas and hot chocolates in both regular and decaf.

I’m enjoying the peace until the people around here pick out what instruments of audio torture to inflict upon me.

I did almost as much multitasking in my dreams as in real life. I chased a mouse, dated my shrink, spoke Spanish incorrectly, and got hit on by a US Marshal at the grocery store. At least she was good-looking. ;)

Then someone tried to tell me Nane was really from Arizona, and I was combing through a bathroom in search of something to unclog a drain while Aly took a bath. Not likely. She prefers showers.

The last dream was strange as hell. I was on the floor by a door. I poked it with my index finger and a picture of a rat suddenly appeared. In a nearby room, I heard the booming voice of a guy I knew Tammy to currently be with, and it wasn’t Mark. It was someone I definitely didn’t like and that didn’t know I was there. I wanted to get up and walk away, but couldn’t. So I began to crawl instead, only I could barely move. It was as if I was drugged or something.

I got curious and looked up my shrink. Can’t find much on her at all, but I’m kind of surprised she has a 1.5 rating. I gave her a 5 on Yelp, but later thought about it and realized I should probably have given her a 4. She’s a fantastic lady. Best shrink I ever had. But she interrupts and changes subjects a lot. I could edit the rating, but I won’t.

How is it that therapy and shrink sessions are now down to just 20 minutes, though? It used to be 50 minutes.

This period is a bit heavier than the last due to being later. I’m surprised I haven’t had to take anything for the cramps given how mild they’ve been. Or have I just gotten that much tougher with pain? I’m using it as a wonderfully shitty excuse not to work out and to finally catch up on the trip. If I wait much longer, my notes will no longer make sense to me.

Tammy cooked a scrumptious dinner on Saturday night containing a roast, potatoes, rolls and a few dessert choices that were wonderful. She even gave me a cherry coffee cake to take back to the hotel. The only problem was that the meat was so bloody and tough I could barely eat it. Tom ate a lot of it because he didn’t want Tammy to feel bad which worried me at first because I thought it was dangerous. A part of me wanted to say, “Screw Tammy’s feelings. Stop eating that fucking meat!” LOL

She read the eulogy she read at Mom’s funeral. When she was pulling it out from a chest at the foot of the bed, I looked at a picture of her and Dad in the 80s in the kitchen of our Massachusetts house. How time flies. What shocked me was how thin she was! I knew she wasn’t as big as she is now – damn is she huge – but I honestly didn’t think she was that thin since she was in her teens.

I was just pissed that she shared some of the pics we took on Facebook and annoyed with Norma for ignoring my request to not “like” or comment on it so Andy and his family wouldn’t see them. I figured Tammy would be eager to share them, though. I mean what did I expect? I hate Facebook the most for not allowing US to choose who sees what.

She said Larry didn’t want to write a eulogy. Yeah, I can’t picture him doing something like that as little as we were in each other’s lives and as much as we really didn’t know each other very well. I would never have written one either because nothing I could say would be appropriate. There are places to say what I really feel, and there are places to say what others expect and want to hear, and well, whenever I can get out of having to say things I don’t feel or believe in my heart, I do. I’d say I was a mass murderer for a million bucks, but I won’t say what I don’t feel is true about my mother just to put smiles on people’s faces.

Also, I’m not the believer in God and the afterlife that most people are. Again, no offense to anyone, but I believe the belief in that kind of thing is more of a dire need to believe in it. Not saying their beliefs might not be correct, though. That’s why I’m more agnostic than atheist; because I don’t know if these things exist. It’s hard to believe in someone I’ve never seen or met, and the possibility of an afterlife seems scientifically impossible. We need eyes to see, ears to hear, and a brain to have awareness. If that all dies, then how can we go on?

Tammy says that our husbands being so wonderful is a sign God exists. Ah, but people who abuse children is just as much of a sign that He doesn’t, isn’t it? So that’s why I’m undecided; too many signs saying there could be one, and just as many, if not more, saying there’s no sign there could be one at all. Then again, if you want to see a sign of something bad enough, you’ll see it.

I’ve never personally sensed our parents, but she believes Dad’s spirit influenced his dog to lick her tears away when she came home crying after his funeral. This was not typical behavior of Max, she said. Do I think he took over his dog to soothe her in her grief? Probably not, but I also realize that I don’t know what’s typical of Max and I didn’t have the experience firsthand. Maybe I’d think differently if I had. Also, had it not been for my own personal experience with dream premonitions and a few other things, I’d probably be saying the same thing about that… that it was just a trick of the mind, wishful thinking, whatever. But I can assure you without a shred of doubt… we exist. A few dream premonitions and I’d call it an odd coincidence. But dozens and dozens? I don’t think so! The only thing I don’t know is why I haven’t had many in the last 5 years or so, but that’s a good thing as most of them were negative.

Regardless of whether or not I believe the words of the eulogy or think Mother even deserved that much, it was beautifully written.

I was surprised to learn Dad’s death wasn’t quite what I thought it was. I thought his heart just slowed down till it gave out, but according to Tammy, some doctor fucked up by trying to get him decongested. I guess there was a lot of fluid in his lungs and trying to remove it was what killed him. His body was just too weak to handle it.

Later…

If I remember correctly, our second day in Florida was warmer, but then it was windy and cool again.

Tom decided that Florida drivers in general are worse than here, haha. Here they annoy you by creeping (due to stiff speeding fines?), but in Florida, they were very erratic with their driving. They’d pass solid lanes and do various things they don’t typically do here. I can only guess it’s because if things are cheaper there, then the fines probably are, too.

I don’t remember exactly when it was, but we went over a bridge that goes over water and Tammy told me, “See those buildings in the distance over there.”

I said I could. Turns out that’s where mom and dad lived on Nettle’s Island. I visited them there twice, once in December of 1989 and once in January of 1990.

Anyway, here’s more of the stuff we got while we were there. One of the days we were there, Tammy took us out for some fun shopping (and didn’t drive poorly on the way there). First we went to a store that was nice. A large garden statue of a red fox caught my eye. It was the only one there. It’s about a foot high, maybe a little more, and very realistically done. I decided to keep it indoors. It sits in the corner on our counter.

The next store she took us to was awesome. It was called Nautical but Nice. There we treated her to a parrot figurine. It’s glossy and dark red. The one I picked out for myself has a matte finish and is a bit more colorful with red, yellow and blue.

I got blue and clear crystals hanging on a ball chain, which now hangs from our ceiling fan/light.

Got a beautiful hanging mermaid with royal blue glitter from the waist down. Her tag said “Ana.” She has dark hair and eyes and wears a “diamond” ring on both hands.

Lastly, I got a 3D postcard of seahorses. Not to mail to anyone, but to keep for myself, as it’s so cool looking. Royal Fucktards must’ve tossed the ones I got earlier because no one’s told me they got them as of yet and they should have by now.

I didn’t get any shirts at this store, but Tom did.

We also got stuff at Walmart, but most of it was stuff we needed. Like an extra suitcase so Tammy didn’t have to ship the fox home to us. We took it on the plane since you’re allowed two things per person. So that, along with the carry-on and my handbag, went with us. The other two purple suitcases always get checked. The new suitcase has a hard case and is cute with light and dark zigzag stripes. It’s got 4 wheels instead of 2, which makes navigating easier. We put most of the delicate items in it since there was room around the fox, and this helped cushion it, too.

Tom got shirts and what he says is the most comfortable robe he’s ever had that was only $9. It’s a blue plaid flannel robe. He then ditched the white terrycloth one my parents sent him many years ago.

I got a purple top with sequins to go with my black leggings, 4 pairs of neon-colored shorts, and a doll – well, they call it a figure – from The Walking Dead. Never saw the show as it’s not really my kind of show, but I loved the 10” realistic black woman wielding a sword and just had to have her. I also got a couple of 6” female wrestlers.

From the hotel gift shop, we got a small flamingo spinner that hangs and a bigger one with a cat riding a bike with rainbow-colored wheels that you spike into the ground. It even has a cute mouse in its basket. Tom just needs to find time to make room for it in front.

I also got a roll-on perfume and a pink hoodie. It’s a size medium and it fits well.

Tammy gave us a wooden sign saying “Relax” with a little turtle on it. That’s hanging out front. She also gave us a cute frog figurine, and when Mark came back he gave Tom a keychain and me a cute little stuffed turtle that hangs from my handbag.

What else… Tammy stopped at a Publix grocery store for prescriptions along the way and a few household items. She showed me her weekly pillbox and OMG! She could open her own pharmacy with all the shit she has to take. It’s sad. Really sad. I saw the oxygen thing she has to sleep with, too.

I’m also worried about Aly’s health. She’s in the ER with problems I’m not sure she’d want me mentioning in public, so I’ll just leave it at that and hope for the best.

Not gonna finish the story today after all, but I’m really close now. Just another day or two. :)