Once again, there is a good God after all! I got my phone working again!!! Yes, I have a phone! A connection to life! I made a deal with the phone company to put long-distance blocks on my line, and they went along with it. Thank fucking God! It'll be hooked up tomorrow. I've got to let Tammy know; she was proud of me and quite happy about the blocks. Tammy's gonna tell Mom and Dad. They can call me on New Year's Eve, as I can receive long-distance calls. Tammy, Bill, and the girls are going to Etta's house (Bill's sister).

Somehow, I'll notify Andy and Fran, and I can get in touch with Cassandra just as soon as it's working. Cassandra lives in Sunderland and is listed, so I'll call her home phone. The Institute at Newton (the agency she works out of) is long-distance in Westfield.

I'll call the CC, too, and also Tracy, to let them know I'm alive. I feel like I've just barely made it through. Believe me when I say I'd hate to endure any more trouble, be it my fault or not. I've got to behave, and I hope shit starts to work out. I need a good, long break from any kind of bullshit from anyone. It was bad enough having to go through all the isolation and all the other stuff out here all alone in the boonies; therefore, one can just imagine how it feels to do it with no phone. Now I have a little less of that "caged animal" feeling, knowing I can call the CC when I hit the really, really low spots in my life while I'm still living here.

Also, I don't have to fear for my life if I have an asthma attack and no one is home next door. As I said, an asthma attack is no way to go; no matter how much you may wish at that moment, you could drop dead. I can also schedule the appointments I need to make.

I called Tammy from Kim's phone, and as soon as my phone's working, I'm gonna leave that ad again from her phone. That way, this gay woman who claims to be ultra-feminine can call me.

Speaking of Kim, she just won a contest by naming three songs in a row over the phone. I don't know which radio station, but she won a weekend stay for two at the Marriott—either in Springfield or Boston. I hope it's Springfield. She doubts Mark is gonna want to go, and I sure hope she's right. Man, oh man, do I ever need a vacation! I love staying in hotels and being able to go swimming! Maybe we can work on convincing him how much he'd hate it.