Just got out of the tub which the freeloaders take over tomorrow. It’s looking like I’m going to be right about finishing the community service in September, then the freeloaders will let me have my tub back for good (I hope!).

I back-combed my long bangs to poof them out, threw my hair in a braid (just below the waist when pulled straight), and now I’m ready to finish off the night with reading, writing and music. I already did my workout.

They definitely would’ve called by now if my thyroid was out of whack, so I’m just naturally heavy like most people over 30. To keep my weight from going any higher, I’ll still have between 1000-1200 calories, with the exception of my weekly treat, and I’ll still work at building muscle, but I have no choice but to accept the fact that I’ll be between 115-120 pounds indefinitely.

Autumn, the doll that Mary and Dave got me for Christmas, has arms that are bent, so I put the little teddy bear that the first doll I got (the one I stole at the Vista) had in the crook of her arm and packed the other doll away. I’m sick of that old doll.

I looked at all my dolls and decided which ones I’d take and which ones I’d leave behind if we were going on the boat now. About half of them would go.

I want my Teddy Bear. Oh, how I still miss that woman! I lust for her, and yes, I did fall in love with her. I really really love her! I can’t keep from wondering, though – does she miss me, too? Does she think of me hour after hour, day after day? Is she single or not?