It was exactly 6 weeks ago as of yesterday that Scot was last here. This is the first time since January that he’s gone over 6 weeks, even if it’s just a day over it so far, in between visits.

Yesterday I told Tom not to put my mail on the island if he comes home when I’m to be getting up between prime freeloader time. That way, jail mail wouldn’t be sitting right there if I happen to be just waking up when he knocks, and am coming out of the bedroom for the first time that day.

Then I thought about it and said to myself, fuck that shit! The freeloaders have controlled where I lived, what I wore, what I ate, and what some of our money was spent on, so now I’m supposed to let them control where my mail is placed? I don’t think so!

In other news, I finally got to take pictures of a rattlesnake! Yeah, I was in my office yesterday when I spotted it coming toward the house. Tom got to see it, too. Unlike the others who would run at the sight of me or the sound of doors closing, this one was pretty brave. I snapped a picture of it moving towards me alongside the house, and then, due to how dangerous these snakes can be, we ran into the house as it settled underneath the front stairs. Tom then opened one of the living room windows and popped the screen out so I could shoot pictures from there, but the only good one I got from there was of its head sticking out. I sent the two good shots I got in all to both Marys, one being by email, the other by regular mail, of course.

It was really weird how the prairie dogs came within a few feet of where it sat and neither one acted like they knew the other was even there. Perhaps that’s because the snake had just eaten. It sure was a fat one.

Mary sent me two more envelopes with quick letters and drafts. I can’t believe how much this girl is writing! She told me to tell her if she’s overwhelming me, but right now I’ve got the time. The only thing being neglected is the fine-tuning of my journals, but that’s okay. There’s no hurry or deadline on that one. I’m sure she’ll have her dry spurts again as soon as she’s got something going on. Right now there’s nothing going on, as she says. I take it she’s getting along with Hope cuz she hasn’t said anything.

Oh, Teddy Bear, how I wish you’d return to Estrella! If I stand the slightest chance, even if it’s one in a million, in getting an answer to why she ditched me, Mary’s my only hope. If she could just get back there before Mary leaves! I know this will never happen, though.

I still think of her every day and at this rate, I think I always will. I imagine scenes with her, like how it might’ve been both in and out of bed if we had been meant to be. I wonder things about her, like what is her name, etc.?

It isn’t doing it right now, but my hard drive (at least I think it’s the hard drive, though it could be a fan) has been making this God-awful screech that Tom says he can’t hear. When I asked how the hell he couldn’t hear it, he said it was cuz of the loud machines he worked around for so many years. It’s a wonder I’m not deaf myself after all the years of blaring music, but if it hasn’t hurt my hearing yet, it probably never will. Not as long as God wants me to hear things I don’t want to hear, though it’s been the quietest it’s ever been since we moved here. Since I’ve had the privilege of living here, I should say. Anyway, he’s going to take care of it later when he gets up. I swear, there’s always something. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.

In order to keep my bangs, now to the tip of my nose, out of my face, I twist them, making dreadlocks, and clip them back with butterfly clips while my hair’s wet. Then it dries up and stays that way even without clips.