Those damn abortion protesters! They really piss me off. If they’re so pro-life, then why are they out running around killing abortion doctors and nurses? They need to mind their own business, live their own lives as they see fit, and let others do the same as well. I’m sick of people sticking their noses into other people’s business and trying to control everybody else. Everyone wants everyone else to be just like them and it really gets old. It also burns me up to hear them say it’s against God. To me that’s such a crock or else one, God wouldn’t have created such a thing as miscarriages, and two, he wouldn’t have given us the knowledge of how to perform abortions. God isn’t against anything under the sun or else it wouldn’t be under the sun in the first place.

Anyway, I haven’t heard or seen any activity at the new house. I doubt I could hear anything without being outdoors anyway as I never heard the rental when it was first hauled in and worked on from inside the house. This house is almost as far from us as Dan’s and it’s not on the edge. Tom was able to see this when he drove out to work yesterday. He says they’re almost in line with next door, but they are closer to us than to Bitter Root.

There were 4 prairie dogs barely two feet away from me today. They almost took food right out of my hand which I believe they’ll do in time.

There’s a new shoot coming up on the plant with the big leaves. It practically shot up overnight, because as observant as I am, I’d have noticed it yesterday for sure.

When I thought about my recent discovery of being able to heal and make sick, I thought I’d try and see if I could will away the spiders to delay bombing and so far it’s working. I didn’t see any spiders yesterday and none so far today either, though I’ve only been up 6 hours.

I had a dream that got me thinking. Well, I dreamt we got a summer cottage near where our summer cottage was in Connecticut. It may be nice to have two homes someday for real (in different climates) if we don’t make enough money to get a houseboat. We’d have to wait to do this when Tom was retired, but it wouldn’t matter where we lived in Arizona at the time. We could do this living here, in a retirement community, anywhere. I know there are places that get cooler during the summertime with lakes and oceans that are closer to us like Washington or Colorado, but I think I’d prefer to go to territory I’m familiar with like the east coast. I know that there, for example, the spiders don’t get any bigger than daddy longlegs. I wouldn’t want to be right on the beach like we were in Old Lyme, because then there’d be more people around and we probably wouldn’t have a cellar, but maybe something that was 10-20 minutes from the shore would be nice. The place wouldn’t have to be big or as nice as this house. We’d get shitty furniture, cheap plastic plates and cups, and have it sparsely decorated. I’d only have a few dolls that were my least favorites. All we’d really need would be two rooms. One with a couple of twin beds in it, the other with the TV and computer. We’d share the computer and I’d have a portable MP3 player. We’d get vinyl furniture so it’d be easy to wipe clean after collecting dust throughout the months we weren’t there.

I think I’d like the variety of living in two different places in two different climates. I’d like to have a few months off each year from the intense heat, allergies, scorpions, big spiders, etc. The only negative would be that we’d miss out on the monsoon season which we always thought was cool, but if we returned around Labor Day, we could maybe catch the last of the storms. The other negative would be the humidity, but we’d be spending most of our time either at a beach somewhere or indoors in the air conditioning so it wouldn’t matter anyway. We’d fly to and from there too, and use rental cars. The one thing I’m not dealing with again is either city life or the freezing cold and snow! Tom’s with me on that, too.

Later...

Tom just got in with some shocking news. He was fired! This is the first time in his life he was ever fired, too.

First of all, I still haven’t heard from either Bob or Mary. I hope no one’s been fucking with my mail, but I doubt it. I also wonder if perhaps Mary simply used me long enough to mail her stuff to her in Florida, then to mail the José letters, and has now decided to dump me, figuring I’m of no more use to her but I doubt that, too. I mean, if that’s the case, that’s the case, since people do come and go throughout our lives, but we’ll see. I’d miss being pen pals with her, but then I wouldn’t have to worry about her becoming a pest on the outs if she did dump me. Still, I think she’s just been busy exchanging love letters with her current violent criminal of choice.

Anyway, Tom surprised me by coming home just after 9:00, just a few hours after he left. At first I was like, “Now what are we going to do?” when he told me the scoop.

His answer to that was, “Well, we’re going to get a lawyer and sue the hell out of them.”

Neither of us sensed this was coming, so, because I don’t have bad vibes and have been having dreams about suing for large amounts of money, maybe this will turn out to be a good thing. The bank has 30 days to send us our $5,000 - $6,000 of pension money, and of course, if they don’t, that’s another point in our favor.

The bullshit reason they gave him for firing him is that he wasn’t doing his job, but we know that’s bullshit since he not only worked overtime for free and did his own job, but he had to do everyone else’s too, every time they’d be too lazy to show up for work.

The real reason he was fired is that he’s not Christian. Again, this state is a haven for Christians and those of color, not non-Christians or gays. See, he had complained about some Easter events they had going on and it’s his job to keep religion out of the workplace which can be tough at times what with how damn pushy so many of them are. He says Meagan’s next (he left her a text message letting her know he’s been fired) and that they’re always firing gays.

His only concern is how to prove most of the things they’ve done wrong. He can prove some of them, like how they treated him differently from this other supervisor. The first thing he’s going to do is file discrimination charges to not give off the impression that all he’s after is money, even though he is, then he’ll seek out a lawyer, but only if they’ll agree to take on his case without receiving any money unless he wins. How easy it’ll be to get someone to take his case will determine just what the chances are of us winning anything. One good thing is that the bank already banned religious festivities before Tom lodged his complaint. It’ll be a little while before we can get a lawyer, though, since the discrimination charges will have to be investigated first.

Andy had warned me of how conservative Arizona was, and now I’m like, conservative? This state’s beyond conservative, it’s downright prejudicial. Nonetheless, we’d be happy to be shit on and discriminated against if it’ll make us money for once and not get one of us thrown in jail. God’s proven to be a very compensating God, so maybe he’ll turn the tables for us and let us gain from people’s hatred and vindictiveness for once if we’re going to be forced to deal with it. I mean really, all our lives we’ve suffered on account of other people’s shit, so a little profit would really be a nice change of pace, and to tell you the truth, I’ve been having feelings of approaching some sort of turning point in life, and as long as it’s not a bad one, like my being framed for someone’s murder on another planet, then fine.

Unfortunately, there’s no way to prove all the overtime Tom did for free since they’re the ones who keep all the documentation. We may have to have their records subpoenaed to prove even more wrongdoings.

From what Tom read, it’s a cut-and-dry situation and it looks like they’re going to have to be really stupid to fight it and draw the publicity to themselves and not reinstate him. If they do reinstate him, he’ll have to take the job back so he can still try to sue them. Them reinstating him would be an admission of wrongdoing in the first place. It’d be better if they were dumb enough to fight him, though, as that’d up our chances of winning big. Most people are stupid, so we’ll see.

Meanwhile, he said that if worse came to worse, he’ll just get a new job in Casa Grande.

“But with a serious pay cut,” I said.

He said, “But if I work two jobs, I’ll be working the same amount of hours I worked at the bank and get the same amount of money.”

“Yeah, but we don’t want you to be married to your next job either,” I said.

He said, “But at least I’d get paid for it.”

How true!

I just hope this is a good thing and that God won’t once again protect our perps. I really do hope we can sue in the end, even if it takes time. I always did have the feeling I may one day be involved in a lawsuit or close enough to it since the person involved would be my husband, and that if any money was won, it’d be a huge amount. Like hundreds of thousands or even millions. Then, instead of buying a kiln and spending my time making dolls, I’d just buy all the dolls I wanted and spend time doing things like maybe water-skiing, visiting other countries, getting a tummy tuck, maybe whacking off this turkey neck, and more. If I can’t have this in the end, at least I can dream. It sure would be funny, though, if we ended up rich from suing the bank before we got a chance to make money off this place, and the bank’s in the habit of being sued, believe me. Lots of people have sued them.

I’m just glad I don’t have any bad vibes, and since I’m primarily a doom psychic, I guess that’s a good thing unless God’s blocking me from sensing any pending trouble so I can be caught off guard and unprepared.

I’m just glad that if this had to happen, it happened after the freeloaders got the hell out of our lives. It wouldn’t look good for him to start a new job elsewhere and have to take monthly days off. Either way, perhaps it was just time for him to move on, and knowing how much easier it is for him to talk than to do, maybe this is what it took to get him to move on. Every time he said he was going to look for a job in Casa Grande, I was like, yeah right! He doesn’t usually do things unless he has no choice. Same with the sex. In 50 years from now, he’ll still be saying he wanted to screw all along, and I told him this.

“Yeah, but now we have no excuse. I’m not working 6 days a week anymore.”

He’ll find one. Besides, even if we did screw, we’d just do it a few times, then a long time would pass where we didn’t, so I’d rather not bother. I’m content with fantasy for now, though a part of me is still bothered that I’m not bothered by my lack of desire to get it on with him. It also bothers me to know that my feelings don’t seem to bother him, but they never did when it came to sex so why should they now? Most people would feel horrible to know they turned their partner off in the way he used to with me, or horrible to know when they at least left their partner unsatisfied, but he didn’t mind. In fact, he seemed to find it rather amusing. Lastly, it still sometimes bothers me that he expects and assumes unfair and unrealistic things of me. An example of that is how he expects and assumes I’ll just say “what the hell” and stay celibate for the rest of my life simply because he’s not interested and can’t come out and say so. If he’s not interested, that’s fine, but he shouldn’t expect me to never get it on with a woman if I met one worth playing around with just because he’s the way he is. While he certainly has the right to be the way he is, so do I. I doubt I’ll ever be interested in getting it on with anyone, but my point’s still the same.

Still, like most people, I also love to fantasize about what I’d do with lots of money if I had it. Wouldn’t Jamie at the doll store be shocked when she asked, “Ah, you’ve come to learn to make dolls after all?”

And I’d be like, “No. Actually, I’ve come to buy about 50 dolls, so get your order forms ready.”

Anyway, we’ll at least be set till September if he doesn’t get a job somewhere till then. I just hope that whatever happens, it won’t mess up our allowance too much or screw us out of the fences and kiln, but see, that’s something God would do if I’m as right as I seem to have been about him not wanting me to do what I want to with my life. It’s like he’s been my worst enemy. Wouldn’t let me sing, wouldn’t let me be a mom, wouldn’t let me have a woman like Kate, wouldn’t do a lot of things. We’ll see, though. Maybe, just maybe, the tables really are going to turn in our favor and we really are going to be compensated for our hardships, though I know I can’t count on that. If I were smart I’d tell myself that all that will happen is that Tom will be told he doesn’t have a case, not because they don’t believe him, but because he can’t prove it, and he’ll just get a new job in Casa Grande and we’ll be set back in life for the millionth time. And believe me, I am so sick of the setbacks and the way people use and abuse us and get away with it!