When I’m up in the mornings it’s nice to be able to enjoy it without the shooting, for in less than a few months, the hunters will be back. It was the biggest hunting season yet last time around. Usually, they only hunt during the mornings on weekends, but last time they were hunting from sunup to sundown, 7 days a week.

Anyway, I got the CD I ordered and now I’m just waiting on the Indian doll and the fairy. Actually, I’ll be waiting on 3 rodent mugs and 3 ballerina ornaments by the end of the weekend too, as they’re going to be ordered today or tomorrow.

I also got a fairy newsletter in the mail, though I don’t know why since I told them to email it to me, and mail from Mary, too.

She’s getting over the flu which is good, but she still has to deal with the noise and the other inmates being little pests. I told her to let me know if anyone there in particular gives her a hard time and I’ll see what I can do spell-wise. We know from the assholes at the bank that I can make people sick even if I’ve never met them. My heart totally goes out to her as far as the animals there. She must feel totally smothered. I remember it all too well from the tents, A Tower and M Dorm – the farting, the fighting, the sighing in the sleep, the rudeness, the begging, the noise, etc. Being forced to interact with someone you just can’t get away from is a miserable thing. It made me want to slap those who would complain about their coworkers. After all, they could at least escape them when they went home after work. I don’t know why most inmates think that just because they’re incarcerated they have to act like spoiled children any more than those on Section 8 can’t be decent and respectful human beings.

I get frustrated, though, cuz she doesn’t always answer my questions. I can’t get her to tell me what letter number she’s up to so I guess I’ll just assume none are missing.

I asked her to tell me more about the living conditions and her life there. Maybe she can draw an illustration of her dorm sometime.

I hope no men in black, if they have such a thing there, don’t see how many pictures she has which must be a ton, and take them away!

In the past, I never bothered reading her mail to José because she didn’t tell me to, but this time I did as she said that reading it would tell me more about the drama she has to endure, and I had to laugh at a few things. One was when she said she couldn’t love two people at once or else she’d feel like she had a split personality. Well, since I once loved both Tom and Teddy Bear at once, I must’ve been a real nutjob!

She says I have a secret admirer there and that her bunkie thinks I’m really cute (she has my picture on her wall). Hmm. Must be over the pictures of me from when I was in my 20s. But is this admirer something to look at herself? Or is she a big bazooka like Myra or a toothless wad of acne like Nancy? If she looks like a young Kate, Gloria or Linda or even a Palma (cuz S has a crush on her, I jokingly told her), she can send her to me!

They sell greeting cards there, so she’s using tons of them on me and José.

She asked if I’d be willing to type up Jose’s book for him if need be for $100, though she still hasn’t heard back from him. I told her that if he’ll pay me up front, sure I’ll do it, but under one condition. If he can use some punctuation and write legibly, I’ll do it. If he’s going to scribble and write like a kindergartner, then no. I need quotes when people talk and periods at the ends of sentences. So, if he can give me periods, quotes and readability and the dough up front, no prob. I just hope she does hear from him, for her sake, even if he is a convicted murderer that she swears is innocent.

She said that she’s been told she might get a suspended sentence once she’s done with the jail time in 2-3 years. That would be so wonderful if she could walk out of there free and clear!

It would also be so, so awesome if her attorneys could direct her to a publisher like she mentioned. They are not easy to get. But again, in light of what she’s writing about versus what I’m writing about, she has a hell of a lot better chance. I think I’d have a better chance of winning a Grammy award or even an Oscar before I ever got my book published. Tom suggested I redo the jail part, then look for gay publishers. They have gay magazines, so I’d think they’d have such a thing as gay publishers, but we’ll see. Anyway, he suggests I redo the jail part cuz it’s too off the wall. It’s just not feasible, as he pointed out, to hire and pay someone to stay with one or two inmates all the time. It still makes for good, funny and entertaining reading, but people want a little more realism than that, and it’d go better with the post-jail part which is very realistic. Still, I wouldn’t count on us both becoming authors, like she seems to think we will. I’m more likely to be a dollmaker, but personally, if I had to choose between the two, I’d probably pick dollmaking anyway. I still have to make her a fuchsia-haired doll when she gets out unless fate keeps me from ever getting the damn kiln. We may have to buy a pale blond wig and dye it, though I’d think that somebody somewhere would have a fuchsia wig.

To be honest, I had mixed emotions about the very generous offer she made to me which was to not only send more stamps but to pay me $100 in July and another $100 to organize the book once it’s done, though it won’t be done for a couple of years till Justin’s sentenced. While I’d love to earn money doing an at-home job, something I’ve desired for years now, I hate to take from someone who’s struggling, so why don’t we just make sure she never sends me anything that will put her out, I told her. Also, yes, I’ll do the organization, but it’ll be a long, tedious job. I’ll do my best, though! I must admit that while I know money’s not everything and that health and happiness are what matters most, I’m only human, so that means money is a motivation of sorts. Who knows, though, by the time Monster’s sentenced, she could be out and we could organize the book together.

Bob will probably be sending another letter out to me soon.

I still can’t believe Kim had a kid, though I’m glad she did. It’s just that God’s not in the habit of allowing people like her to become parents too often, so it really did come as a surprise. What with all the female problems she had, along with how wonderful a mom I knew she’d make, I just didn’t think it’d happen.

Okay with it or not, I guess God’s reasons for denying me a child was either because he either felt I’d either make too good of a mom or that I just simply couldn’t have handled it. Guess I’ll never know for sure, but it’s okay so long as I never ever again return to wanting one like I used to. It was miserably depressing beyond words! I think that if I knew God was planning to sentence me at some point with a lifetime of wanting one like I used to, I’d seriously consider suicide. I’d have every odd against me there could possibly be – a husband with a dry dick, no money for invitro, no qualifications for adoption, though this wouldn’t interest me, and not even a way to get it on with some other guy to see if they could knock me up, though there’s no way in hell I’d even think of considering that one for a millisecond no matter how desperate I was.