Tom got to the PO too early to get today’s mail, but he got my stuff from Yves which came on Saturday. I got a couple of things that are supposed to reduce dimpled skin, facial creams, small bottles of shampoo and shower gel, and perfumes. I now have my top two favorite perfumes, though one of the other ones I got isn’t that great. It’s not bad, though. There was also a blue and white checked eyeglass case, a makeup bag, and a tote that came with the order for free. I kept the eyeglass case for sunglasses, but I might try to sell the other bags at the swap meet.

All Oregon land requires payments of about $150 a month for several years. That may be nothing compared to what we had to pay here, but still, the less hold people have on us the better, so Tom’s going to see if Ma will pay the land off and let us pay her rent instead. Tom said, “I know it sounds cold, but she’ll be long gone before the land can be paid off.”

Doesn’t sound cold to me. She used us, so why not use her? And like I said, she can pay back any money she took us for, but not the time she took from us. That was something that was/is priceless and irreplaceable.

Anyway, he’s going to bid on a 3-acre lot. I’m kind of glad we’re not going to get a huge piece of land after all. Yes, it would keep houses further away from us, but the more land we had, the less we’d be able to afford to fence it and so the more others would use it, assuming that’s customary there, too. A portion of this particular piece of land is adjacent to government land, and although the seller insists it’s secluded, there does seem to be quite a few gaps in trees. If we go out there to find no one’s around, great, but I have to think in terms of the future. As soon as we move to wherever, others are coming, too. I know we’ll be followed. People go where we go. A curse is a curse is a curse as far as problem neighbors go, so like I said, it doesn’t matter where we go. Curses follow us wherever we go. This curse has been on me for over a decade and in every place I’ve lived since which totals 8 places, counting the Siesta Suites we were holed up in for a month before we played the trailer/hotel rotation game. The good thing about this seller is that they too, will let you exchange the land for a like piece if you don’t like what you see when you get there.

I tore the patch off a few days early. It’s not only worthless, but I’m up a couple of pounds. It’s as if something’s punishing me for even thinking about trying to change the way I am, not that that’s what I intended to do. I am how I am, fat or not. I know I’ll never lose weight and that’s ok as long as people don’t go burning us again the way they have in the past. I’d be fat and happy any day versus thin and miserable. I used to have dreams like becoming rich, getting it on with a gorgeous woman (as in Kate gorgeous), being a famous singer. Now all I want is to just not be fucked over while I’m rendered powerless to do anything about it. That’s all I want other than just general health and happiness. Any additional plusses would be seen as extra bonuses.

We listed 5 things this evening - computer books, the huge rodent lot which already has a bid, Amelia, Maria, and the 3 Barbies. What’s shocking is that Maria has 11 views, Amelia’s got 12, but Barbie’s only got 2!

My growing farsightedness seems to be noticeably worse at night, for reasons I can’t fathom.

The incense kept going out in the bottle Tom drilled holes in. He insisted it just needed either more holes or bigger holes. I insisted it was getting smothered by its own ashes and that it just needed to be suspended. Well, Tom’s right on a lot of things, but not this one. We got another bottle and I took a tiny clip that Tom suggested I try and clipped the stick to the rim of the bottle. Now that the lit part isn’t touching anything, it’s burning just fine.