Tom said he saw Shiny the other day. He was surprised. He thought the dogs got him for sure, and so did I.

I finished proofreading Angel Eyes and am mailing off a copy to Mary today. It’s a combination of sci-fi/romantic comedy/drama. I’m only 26 in the story and I don’t just spend time in Arizona, but in Mexico, too. I marry Teddy Bear and we try unsuccessfully to have artificial insemination. She dies in a robbery and then I wander adrift. I end up on the Navajo Indian reservation passed out from the heat. The Indians take me in, then I head back east where friends Rosa and Marilyn live in a duplex. I move in with them. I dump the folks and Larry, then Tammy’s killed in a car crash that leaves me with amnesia, though I remember I was about to dump her too, and some other things. A year later, Janet and James, chosen by God to know Kay’s true origin is that of a celebrity picture I once had that I would communicate with as the psychic that I am, help her find me, along with Melanie, another “picture-person.” Kay and Mel are cops, and when Gwen, my unofficial social worker responds to the ad they’ve placed looking for me, we are reunited, though I bear no memory of the pictures, which are on the wall. Now split as two separate beings, the pictures observe the happenings in the old gym that Kay rents after a breakup with an unstable woman. The story is seen through one of the picture’s eyes. I’m sort of aggressive when Kay and I meet, but Kay tames me as we hit it off and fall in love. When she finally tells me who she is, I don’t believe it at first, but I eventually come to believe it and remember it as well. We legally marry and have artificial insemination which produces twins, a boy and a girl. Then I acquire macular degenerate disease and go blind. After living in the gym for a year, we move out and the building is rented by others over the next 13 years. Then Kay comes to visit a cop who’s renting the building after we’ve had an additional son and an additional set of twins, both girls. Then my picture form is transferred to the backyard of the house we moved into after we left the gym. They see me get it on with Melanie when Kay and the kids are out.

The release vibe I had for Mary for September of ’05 has faded a bit, but this isn’t to say I think she’ll go to prison. Whatever happens, I know she can handle it. She’s a toughie. Not that I’m unhappy with who and what I am, but sometimes I wish I was more like her – optimistic, forgiving – though maybe not too forgiving. I still think that one can get you in trouble. Besides, those I’ve dumped, such as my family, wasn’t because I couldn’t forgive them for the things they’ve done to me, but because I realized I didn’t like them. Then again, I never did. I just didn’t do anything about it till ’97 when I walked away for good.

I think the folks probably believe I’ll one day return. Larry did, after all, even though it took him 9 years or so. I also think that either Tammy, Lisa, or both of them, will try to hunt me down someday to resume a relationship, but as they’ll all see with time, little Jodi ain’t coming back. I have nothing against Lisa or any of my nieces, of course, but for the same reason Larry avoided both Tammy and I for the years that he did, I would avoid Lisa at all costs. She’s just too closely connected to some pretty lousy people and some pretty lousy memories. I could never associate with her with the others being part of the deal as well. Lisa and I were always so much alike, though, that she may go and do the same thing I did, though if she’s going to do this, I don’t think it’ll be anytime soon. She’s young yet.

I do wonder about her, though, and Andy. Are they still as miserable as I’ve always known them to be? Is Lisa lonely and feeling nothing but sadness and rejection just like I did throughout most of my 20s?

Anyway, Mary’s optimism must be rubbing off on me somewhat as I have very good vibes about Oregon if we can just get there once and for all!