I was so, so fucking furious today!!! The fucking beast woke me up twice. I crashed around 6 AM, and just after 9 AM was the first time it barked. That was maybe half a dozen barks. I was too tired to get up and bass the rude bitch out for it, and I fell back asleep within an hour. Just two hours later, it went off like crazy at the back door when she had company, and as always, her company was more important. She refused to let the dog in. It barked frantically at the door for a few minutes, then ran to the fence where it barked some more before running back to the door. It didn’t give up for nearly 10 minutes. I wanted to slap the fat off the bitch so bad that my handprint would be forever embedded in her scaly skin! The only reason I didn’t go over there and beat the living snot out of her was that I was not going to be the one to go to jail for beating on old ladies. This bitch may be big, but it’s also weak and badly out of shape. There’d be no competition whatsoever. Not even if she were pissed and I wasn’t. She smokes and can barely stand up after she bends down, so if I went off on her I know I’d do some very serious damage that’d just get me locked up on assault charges. Assault charges may be nothing compared to other things, but still, I don’t need the grief. The dog gives me enough grief as it is. I knew I should’ve fought to keep on days because I knew this was going to happen since she started ignoring it and letting it get out of control and bark all it wants. Again, I have to wonder – does she want to get evicted? Or does she just think she’s invincible because she’s a nut on disability with a so-called service dog?

Bev, goddamn you, why’d you have to move?! At least your grandanimals weren’t here every day. This dog is!

Anyway, after round two, yes, I did give her some bass and some cabinet-slamming, too. I was too tired to let her have it for long, so at 11 AM I dragged one of the stereo speakers over by the bed and crashed on and off till 5:30. If there’s any good to come of this shit, it’s that it hopefully pushed my schedule around faster so I can hurry up and get back on days. I know one thing’s for sure, though, and I don’t care how paranoid Tom is, and that’s that she’s not going to be sleeping well herself. I intend to slam a cabinet door or something just as soon as he gets up at 4:00. If she’s not going to let me sleep, I ain’t about to let her sleep. Furthermore, once he’s left at 5:30, the stereo’s going on really loud till I’m ready to crash. I could still hear the dog over the volume I sleep with it at, but hopefully the fucking thing will blend in with it and not stand out like it does with just the fan and sound machine.

I’m gonna get this bitch so bad with the noise once we’ve officially gotten a place!!! I’ll be the problem she said she didn’t want. She doesn’t want problems with neighbors? Well, she’s got ‘em! I tried to tell Tom that she wouldn’t complain due to where she’s from, and since that’d be admitting that I got to her, but you know how paranoid he is. He’s like, “But we’re so close. All it takes is one complaint. If we go with someone else and they call these people and they say, ‘Oh, they’ve been really good. We’ve only had one complaint on them,’ that could very well mess things up.”

I’ve gotten complaints on me back east for loud music and prank phone calls and none of them ever stopped me from moving, so I’m not worried about it. He said to do what I gotta do anyway, and I intend to do just that! As tired as I still am, the question is, will I be up when he gets up? And how many times do I have to be woken up tomorrow?

I hate God for doing this to me!!! I’m so pissed at Him and I totally resent Him more and more as time goes by. Fuck praying to Him. Why waste my time praying to someone that doesn’t want to hear it and that doesn’t give a damn about me? I truly believe this too; that He doesn’t give a damn. And I know without a doubt that this noise curse will never end. As it is, I told Tom to just get a place that we can afford and that’s in a good location and to hell with what’s around it because people are going to drive me crazy no matter where we go. Country living – just a dream. Just a silly old dream.

He checked out a house managed by this company that’s about 4 miles away and just a minute’s walk from where he works. He said he didn’t know exactly which house it was and that he’d stop in their office to get the exact address, but it looks good, even though the houses are close. He said it’s on a fairly busy one-way street, it’s got gas heat, and it’s $10 cheaper than this place. He said he didn’t hear any dogs, but I’m sure they’re there. Only about 5% - 10% of houses are dogless. I guess that after he’s checked it out and made sure it’s livable, he’s going to put a deposit down on it this Friday as long as no one else grabs it by then.

Anyway, this sick, rude twisted bitch and her beast weren’t out this evening either. I’m assuming this was because it was cool and humid, so as soon as it gets hot again and dries up, they’ll be back to steal my peace and fray my nerves to shreds. It’s almost scary how one can be so seemingly nice and considerate one minute, and become such a rude bitch the next, oblivious to anyone and everyone around them! She’s so locked in her own little world. How do you tap on the wall she’s drawn around her and say, “Hey, there are other people around here besides you, you rude asshole!” It’s a wall I doubt anyone could penetrate without some serious leverage over her.

At least the nights are quiet, unlike Phoenix which never sleeps. You could hear every dog within a 10-mile radius at night there.

I’m still fairly certain she won’t complain. I know how these types of individuals operate. Besides, not everyone’s bothered by a little bass thumping in the background. Not even I’m bothered by those stereos that aren’t that loud and that go by fast enough. It’s only when it’s incredibly loud or hangs around a while that it gets to me. This stereo can’t go as loud as these car stereos or even Bev’s stereo. It’s not an 8-speaker surround sound system. It’s ancient. Not a piece of shit, but nothing to brag about either, so with my shit luck, she barely notices it. With even shittier luck she’ll get someone in here that isn’t noisy and that doesn’t complain. They probably won’t mind the barking and might even be out during workdays.

When the knowledge of us having to be struggling city slickers for another 40-50 years eats at me, I try to think of good things like making California dreaming a reality and having extra spending money, even if it’s only for 5 minutes (Tom thinks we could save $25 a week towards the California move and that I could have $10 a week for fun). Tom could get a lot of those scratch tickets he likes, though I don’t expect them to win much. This isn’t the state for tickets any more than it is for jobs or anything else. I fucking hate it here. Half the time it’s noisy, and the other half it’s cold/snowy. At least in Sacramento, there’ll be just one problem; year-round noise but no cold/snow.

Maybe if we do get a place from them, I can send a shortened email to Pam saying something like, “Thanks for helping us get into a house. We’re glad we could stay with a company we know/trust. The lady we were next to was really driving us batty with the barking, company and blasting TV.” We’ll just see when we get to wherever we’re going. If it weren’t for Tom being a part of my life, despite his paranoia, I’d go batty for damn sure! No matter what shit I’m cursed with in life, I know I’ll never have to go it alone.