Got a card from Paula yesterday addressed to us both from her and Justin. That was nice of her.

The mailman knocked on the door so he could sign for my Yves package, and again I slept through it. I don’t get it. I sleep through people knocking not even a foot from my head, but I can’t sleep through people’s stereos!

Tom accidentally bumped and broke my bronze ballerina which is really made of wood. Bits of her lower leg chipped off and she lost a finger, too. It seems they always lose their pinkies when they break.

Wow, 1550 sweeps are expiring at the end of the year! I should definitely win something. I just hope it’s not the usual small prize.

Later…

Tom’s doing laundry now. He had heard that the owners were Jehovah’s Witnesses and I guess one of their silly rules is not to close their businesses on Christmas.

What is this chick doing next door? She took off about 10 minutes ago and I thought she was going somewhere for the day, but she returned 5 minutes later. Now she just took off again, and I’m wondering if she’s going to come and go all day or what? She must not have family around here which might explain why she rarely has company.

It’s going to be such a tough decision as to whether or not we should stay or go if he doesn’t get a huge salary or a partnership. Even if they came out and told him they’d never pay him any more than what he’s making now and that he wouldn’t be getting any more overtime, would it be wise to throw that away, leave a place with such a low cost of living, and hope for the best in Sacramento? What if he could never make good money again? Tom pointed out, however, that in 7 years we’ll have the AMEX money, so that’d help supplement a lower-paying job. This is true. I just don’t want to be poor again! I just want to go “home.” I’m sick of moving around. Fortunately, I definitely don’t see us here till he retires. That’d be a hell of a long time to deal with the winters and to be uninsured. On the other hand, I wouldn’t go to a doctor unless I was desperate. I’d love to get this ear fixed, but I won’t. It’s just too damn expensive. Besides, God didn’t give me this problem just to turn around and fix it. I truly believe that and that we’re given things for a reason and we shouldn’t try to fight it. God wouldn’t have given me this problem if He didn’t want me to have to deal with it. I don’t understand why He’d be so mean to me and why He always wants me to have one problem after another, but that’s just the way it is and if I did get it fixed, he’d just do something else to me for going against Him. It’s not fair that I be punished for what they did in Boston when I was 10 years old and without any say in the matter, and it’s not fair that I be punished for trying to help myself 10 years ago but I am, like it or not.

As much as I hate to admit it, this place does have its good points. There are no gangs and you could walk around in the middle of the night and know you’d be safe. It’s mostly white folks up here and the drinking water doesn’t taste like bleach. The summers are still gorgeous, too. The only thing I don’t like about it is all the religious bigots. All those nice people Tom works with are deceptive. This means that those who helped us move, gave us the dressers and computers, and gave him a raise, would probably turn against him in a heartbeat if they suddenly knew I was bi. It’s no wonder some folks stay in the closet. Me? I’d rather tell the truth and have no friends than tell them what they want to hear just so I could have so-called “friends” because that’s just how I am. I tell it like it is, I don’t kiss ass, and I don’t put on acts to please others.