It seems we may warm up earlier this year. I just found the third spider in the bathroom so I guess they’re waking up. It’s going to be cold and snowy tomorrow, but then it’s to warm back up. It was the warmest day so far this year at 54º. The local attention-getters let me know it, too. Now that they can stand to sit in their cars, they’re sitting there leaving them blasting. The day I have to spend a fortune on gas just for recognition is the day I know I need some serious help!

I didn’t actually see the car that was blasting its bass, but it may’ve been a couple of chicks who came to check out next door and parked on the other side of the house. I hope to hell they don’t move in there!

After being here for nearly two years, 75º is now a bit warm to me, so I don’t know if 82º will still be my favorite temperature. I still don’t like to let it get under 70º in here. Talk about having mixed emotions about summer coming! I want the warmth and the savings, but not the noise and spooky spiders!

Anyway, not wanting to wait for when we go to a department store, I taped all the gaps I could visually see and feel drafts coming from in the bathroom, the spot the spiders mostly show up in. I don’t know how good of a job I did, but I think I should’ve done this long ago if only for insulation purposes.

Tom said he heard squealing this morning and thought Tinkerbell got out and got stuck somewhere till he realized it was coming from the front of the house. He looked out to find two skunks getting it on. He said they were really loud and sounded a lot like rats. He said they were really pretty, too. I agree. If we could afford it and had the space, I’d get a variety of taxidermy animals. I’d get a skunk, a raccoon, a fox, a coyote and a wolf. Along with the squirrel, I’m definitely going to get at some point and maybe even a mouse, too.

Of the toys I just got, the tongue is the best. It really looks and feels like a real tongue is lapping at you. It’s made of silicone and I can see how those silicone dolls would feel realistic. I should’ve gotten just the tongue. If that was the case I could be ordering the Cher wig today, but I’m still $79 in debt, so I’ll order it in two weeks. The multi-purpose massager is okay, but it’s a little awkward to use the lotion applicator because the thing is so heavy and bulky. Hopefully, the scalp massager will help speed up my hair growth. It grows much slower in cold climates. The other two things I got don’t seem like they’ll be very fun, but the tongue is definitely great. It even has a plug for a transformer so you don’t have to deal with batteries. This old house lacks plugs as much as it lacks space, though. Anyway, I hate to say it, but as much as I love Tom dearly and always will, I’d rather just close my eyes, envision Kate, and let the tongue work its magic. I still say only the best sex can be achieved on my own. I also still say I was never meant to experience great sex with someone I totally lusted over. Great mutual sex, that is. Instead, it’s always been one-sided where one of us was always more into it than the other. Besides, even if Tom and I had a great sex life, sometimes I get horny when he’s asleep or working and I need to be able to take care of myself at such times.

We went to the store today and now he’s asleep in my bed. He told me yesterday he wanted to sleep in there, and although I didn’t say anything, I thought to myself, whatever for? You know we’re never going to want to get it on so what’s the point? Why do “friends” need to sleep together? Anyway, he told me to kick him out if he gets too noisy when I want to go to bed.

And what was the point of putting new screens on this place with all the gaps between them and the window casings? The house’s tilting threw everything off so nothing’s square or flush in any way. Tom’s going to get a foam you spray in to seal the gaps.

I’ve got to ease up on the ab crunches cuz it bulks me out if I do too much. Overdoing it causes muscles to build up and push the outer layer of fat out, even more, making me look all the more gutsy and bloated.

My vibes say the house next door is going to rent soon. I just hope that if they drop the rent a bit they don’t also drop the no-pets-allowed rule, too. It would be unbelievably noisy in here if they did! Any kids that end up over there will be bad enough with the way they’ll live in the yard and not in the house till October. The no-pets rule may’ve also been a factor in what’s kept it empty for so long on top of the ridiculous price they’re asking for such a dump. Once they realize this, they may be tempted to not only lower the rent but drop the no-pets policy too, which means I’ll have to deal with it.