Tom hasn’t yet admitted his program’s a bust, but he is at least ready to “prepare for the possibility that I’m right,” so he says, but setting things up to sell his picks. It’s like with psychics who sell winning lottery numbers; they hope someone wins big and will be kind and generous enough to share some of it with them. That’s totally something God would do too, have someone else strike it rich of off something he did. And no one’s that kind or generous either!

Meanwhile, I still have my bouts of anger and depression over it being just another joke on us. It was a hell of a cruel tease, and of course, God sat back and allowed it, as always, because the joke was on us. And if it’s us, why that only makes it all the more funny, doesn’t it God?

I’ve come to resign myself to the inevitable living conditions that are in our fate and that simply can’t be changed and so I try to see the good in it. If we did own a nice place on some land that wasn’t noisy, God would just take it away from us. If we don’t own anything, well then we couldn’t lose what we didn’t have. I’ve had a zillion apartments yet I’ve only been evicted once due to being the kind of prankster I haven’t been in years. Meanwhile, we lost the Maricopa house and we nearly lost the Phoenix house too, at one point, even if our lives were hell there. So while it’s easy to complain about the things that go bump, bang, and bark all the time and all the wake-up calls, an apartment is something I know we could never go wrong with or ever lose. And while it’s easy to say I want to live in peace, living in noisy places is all I know for the most part, and while it may be nice to live in peace, it may seem rather strange. The longer I live a certain way, the harder it is to adapt to something else, even if it’s better. Noise – can’t imagine life without it!

I’m determined to learn to tune out what I haven’t been able to tune out as of yet and to fight the sleep problem God has cursed me with in order to supplement our income. Just because we can’t live in peace doesn’t mean I want us to ever again suffer the kind of poverty we suffered upon coming here. If I hadn’t been so damn lazy and if I hadn’t been so damn submissive to God’s shit, we wouldn’t have had such a hard time. He could break my legs or something to stop me, I know, but I’ve got to at least try to fight Him. Maybe that’s what He wants; to see me finally fight back. Maybe then He’ll cut me some slack. Besides, daytime sleeping in an apartment is virtually impossible. I remember that all too well.

In better news, the last doll of ’07 will be here either today or Friday. Now she says she’s not sure if it made Monday’s shipment in which case it’ll go out today.

It took me about 30 DVDs to do it, but I finally won one worth watching.