Today my husband is half a century old! I’ve given him the code for the $15 Amazon credit I won, so he can have at least a little something.

I know most people would never say this in a million years, but I wish he were 55 and I was 65. He thinks we could buy something in a retirement community in 5 years. Well, I still don’t think we’ll ever get to “go home,” but if he’s right, and neither of us wins big in the meantime, 5 years in the mainstream, especially if most of it’s gonna be spent in an apartment, is a loooooooong time. Thank God for these new waxy earplugs. They won’t drown out snoring like they claimed online, but they will do a better job than the foam ones. Then all I’d have to worry about would be the insanely loud sounds, as well as the vibrant ones. I think today I’ll do a little test and instead of sleeping with the louder air cleaner on, I’ll just use the new plug with the sound machine or fan or both. These aren’t as loud. I want to see how well they do with the super-loud sounds like the stereos and big trucks. This will give me an idea of if I can survive all the banging that apartments bring. I’d love to be able to use the sound machine rather than the air cleaner. The sound machine doesn’t have filters that need regular vacuuming.

Tom got the money from Stephen and gave him $100. The end is truly beginning! This is the part that would scare Jessie, not that I’m not scared as well. But sometimes pulling the plug on our lifelines and various connections to a particular place is the only way to move on. Once these ties are severed, there’s no room for any more excuses or hesitations. We then have to get a new place to live and a new job or else we’ll end up homeless and starving. Of course that can still happen anyway! There’s always that risk.

I didn’t get to begin to fire up that nasty little chip called “me” in Stacey’s brain yesterday because the dumb-ass mailman, whoever he is, was not only too lazy to take her letter which I’d left out but to close our gate behind him as well. It is possible, that while he was lazy where the gate was concerned (at least there aren’t loose dogs running around everywhere like in Maricopa), he may’ve missed it. The envelope it’s in is green and so is the post the box is attached to. This same envelope was missed before, and when Tom went to get the mail that day he almost missed it, too. Today I’m going to stick my head out starting at noon and check for the mail truck every 15 minutes and personally hand it to the carrier. Stacey still may get it Saturday, but she’ll get it either way so long as she’s at the address it’s going to.

My Marley doll came and I’d never guess she was Tyler’s little sister. She’s one overpriced little cutie, even though more work goes into making a Tonner than a Barbie, and Tonners are of better quality material. ! I would’ve hated to miss out on her as there are only 499 others like her. Hope I don’t lose her either!

The bummer is that while I can’t be sure till around the 1st, I think this tea has done all it’s going to do for me. I’ve been approximately the same weight now for a week. It makes sense that if it really does attack fat it would keep going because I still have plenty of fat to attack, and I still don’t think all I lost was water, but then what’s taking so long?

Later…

Tom got up a little while ago and said he used the Amazon code to get himself an infrared thermometer that sounds way cool. You point it at something and it tells you the temperature of that particular object.

Later…

Yup, I’m definitely done losing weight. In fact, I’m up a couple of pounds. It’s weird cuz I suddenly felt a little bloated before I weighed in and found that I was up. I’ll still drink my two cups a day for another week or two, then decide if I want to quit altogether and just drink it when I’m watery, cut down to one cup or what. One thing’s for sure and that’s that I’m definitely not going to bother ordering another box tomorrow like I’d originally planned.

Here goes another one of those what-Tom-doesn’t-know-won’t-hurt-him things because I’m about to write about something I said I wouldn’t. I decided a while back that I would eventually write about this incredible “chance” occurrence since I did absolutely nothing wrong, it was just that I was going to save it for the road till my computer went to hell and left me with so much free time. Besides, I’ll probably be more focused on the scenery on the way down there anyway, so I decided to cover it now.

It happened back in April and was one of the freakiest experiences of my life! Well, I ran into the crazy pig in cyberspace through OLS of all places! What are the chances of that?! You’d think they were awfully low, but it happened! At first I thought God was paving the way for him to get at me again, but since it’s been two months, I guess he’s not coming. I’d be lying if I said a part of me wasn’t sorry, too. Not that I could get past his weapons and his cronies and beat the shit out of him like I’d love to do, but I think I may be able to inflict enough damage before I was restrained. See, he remembers the all-too-cooperative and naïve-to-the-law Jodi. Not the one that later learned just how badly he tricked and manipulated me in every sense of the word and how he used his authority to abuse me with his power and hatred. So while I could appear calm, cool and collected and make him think I was going to go down easy a second time around, I could sneak a quick punch into that evil face before I showed him that I’d changed. And changed a lot. It might’ve been worth whatever it cost me in the end. More of me, however, is glad he didn’t show up. I think deep down I knew he wouldn’t because he had nothing tangible to get me with. With the crazy black bitch, he had the stuff I really sent, making it convenient for him to get me into the station so he could get my prints on the threats he typed up himself.

Anyway, I was going through the single-entry sweeps as usual when I entered a contest for a grand from “The O Group,” a real estate company, which has since been deleted from OLS’s database for some reason. After I entered I noticed a picture of a black guy and a white woman with the names Jerry and S O underneath it. As I stared at the picture, it slowly sunk in just who it was! My heart pounded with rage and shock and I then checked to see if they were in Phoenix. Sure enough, they were.

The part I didn’t tell Tom was the email I sent saying, “So this is what you do now that you’ve been kicked off the police force for using and abusing your authority?” Then I decided to scare him by saying that I’d see to it that he legally paid for what he did to me. If it didn’t scare him, then I’m sure it at least shocked the shit out of him! I didn’t save his message any more than I saved Stacey’s letter, but again, I know I didn’t do a damn thing wrong and he knows it too, though a part of me really did wonder if he’d either fly up here himself or sic the Klamath Falls pigs on me to at least try to scare me with threats of some kind.

With Stacey, even if she could find out where I am, I’m smarter now. I couldn’t be tricked in the same ways, so no amount of fingerprints or saliva could be used to make an innocent letter seem threatening.

Tom doesn’t think it’s him. He thinks it could be a relative, but as he pointed out, pigs aren’t allowed to have their faces shown in areas that don’t pertain to police work. Like that many pigs follow the rules anyway? If he’s right, then with only 12 Jerry Os listed in such a big city, I agree it’s got to be a relative. I remember that face, though. I swear it’s the same face. I think it is him and that he joined his family’s company after getting kicked off the force. After so many complaints, not even his own would protect him, and like I said a zillion times, I certainly couldn’t have been his and the black bitch’s only victim. They’re like rapists; they continue to victimize people throughout their lives until someone stops them.

Whether it’s him or a relative, I wonder who will be more shocked to hear from me, him or Stacey? Again, I know nothing I could send or say could change a thing, and yeah it sucks to know Stacey will just blow off my letter. I just get a kick out of knowing I’ve “resurfaced,” even if it’s in a very different way.

Such a nasty, nasty little chip!

Later…

Kim left quietly and then returned with her song, so she got to hear one of mine, too!

Why oh why is it that I suddenly can’t get Stacey off my mind??? She’s totally tempting me to map out the story idea she’s inspired.

There goes Kim again. As much as I can’t wait to get out of here, it sucks to know that where we’re going is going to be way noisier than this place on its noisiest of days, and this house is going to seem like we may as well have been on a deserted island compared to the claustrophobic feeling I’ll have in an apartment, huddled in so close to others. Apartments are so much like living in a rooming house.

Anyway, Stacey’s inspiring me to start a little “accidental reunion” sort of story, but I’ve still got the other story I’m working on. Maybe variety would still be a good thing after all, and it would be good to work on more than one story at once. It’s just not going to be very easy to concentrate in an apartment, and of course, when my computer works I like to dedicate most of my time to Netwinner. I suppose I could write while doing Netwinner, though. That’s what I usually do. Just sitting there doing Netwinner only is boring, so I usually write while I’m at it. It doesn’t slow me down much that way.