Yesterday I awoke at 135 pounds again and started to wonder if the stuff was a bust after all. But today I’m down to 134, so that’s very encouraging. 8 pounds in 4 days at this height and age with NO dieting! I just can’t believe that even if I had just 1000 calories a day I’d be down this much this fast without this tea. My metabolism is just too damn dead. Comfort may be more important to me than appearance at this age, but I just may go below the 120 pounds I originally decided I’d go to if I ever could, just out of curiosity to see how far I could go. I consider myself obese now, but at 130 I’d be just fat, 120 I’d be chunky, 110 I’d be ok, 100 I’d be skinny. I’d never go under 100, though, because then my heart races, I get kidney pain, and it hurts to stand or sit on hard surfaces.

Later…

And now I’m back to thinking it may be a bust after all. It’s going to take my hitting 130 to be positive it’s not a bust, but I’m ending my day at 137 so I can’t expect to be down some more tomorrow. On the other hand, I suppose it’s silly of me to expect to drop every single day. Drinking this tea may be more effective with a diet, which is what they recommend, but I’d need the Claritin for that due to my lack of willpower. For now, I gotta have my 2000 calories a day.

I still hate God for many obvious reasons and always will, but if I do end up losing weight, then more of my prayers have been answered than I’ve realized. They just took forever to be granted. It took a few years, but when I told God, “If you’re not going to allow me a child, then take the desire away,” it did go away. And I did pray many times for help with quitting smoking and losing weight before at least the smoking part was granted. I don’t get the 5-10 year delay, but better later than never. I’ve been asking for help with the weight for 10 years now, so maybe now He’ll help me and let this tea do a little magic while I at least try to work out consistently if I can’t cut my calories as low as I should.

Tom found a better rental site. What’s better about this one is that they’re owned more by individuals than by property management companies which we’d both prefer. The management companies can be too strict and expect you to make a ridiculous amount of money before they’ll rent to you. Furthermore, Tom found more out-of-the-way houses at this place. We couldn’t look for those before because we didn’t know where to look. This doesn’t mean we won’t still get trapped in an apartment or a duplex, because thanks to the fucking Arabs, gas is still astronomical, so we could only afford to drive so far. I wonder how people like Andy can still afford to drive?! He’s gotta be the same old pothead and waitering at one restaurant after another. And alone. I just hope he never got arrested in Arizona!

Coming up on 108,000 points.