I was looking at different people’s horoscopes for the New Year. Since Tom plans to launch his ever so greatly improved program in the spring, I found it rather ironic that a “project” Tom’s working on will be ready to launch by the spring, Andy will be in great health, and boy will Maliheh be lucky in love, LOL.

Anyway, this is going to be my last entry for 2010 as there’s not much else to say other than that we installed and trained some voice recognition software on my computer, even if it’s not perfect. Let me test it right now.

I am using my new software program right now and it is going to need more training before I can use it for writing stories. So far I am impressed with how well and downs. But as you can see the word downs is incorrect.

Maliheh said she wasn’t planning on doing anything today or for New Year’s Eve, so hopefully she’ll spend some of it with me. :)

Woke up at 12:30 and thought wow, this is the third day in a row I woke up at this time. But then I closed my eyes and didn’t open them again until 2:30.

No exciting dreams last night other than painting a room with Maliheh with music blaring, sitting by a pond and then riding a bike.

We’ve been having a cold spell. We froze last night and it will freeze tonight, too. It’s not fair that Maliheh’s going to be almost 70º in a few days, though we will be back in the 50s soon enough.

I decided to take an Aleve rather than bug Tom for a backrub. I know he’d do it, but most people don’t like to give backrubs, so I popped a pain pill instead. I get backaches before periods which may be starting now even though it’s not supposed to for a few days.

Didn’t talk to Maliheh yesterday, but I did talk to Nane. She’s going back to Turkey next week and says she’ll read my story there. I still don’t get how she can’t afford to move there till she retires, but can vacation there 3 or 4 times a year. And why have an apartment and not a house if you can afford trips like that? That’s like going from New England to Florida.

I sent Mitch and Maliheh copies of my story, but I don’t expect either of them to read it. When I don’t hear from Maliheh like this, I get a touch of what it’s like to be Marie and find a part of me wondering if she’s mad at me. But the difference between Marie and I is that I know she’s just busy, not as into me as I am into her, and that she would’ve told me if she were mad at me.

I decided to update my bio every year instead of every few years. It’s easier to remember things that way, especially since a lot seems to happen even when things are basically the same. Only I won’t be publishing it online since I’ve been doing daily journaling for some time now.

This weekend we’re going to look for voice recognition software to download. I’m thinking that if I could speak the skeletons of my stories out, despite the fact that I type very fast, it would make things easier for me if all I had to really worry about was the editing, which is 75% of story-writing anyway.

Just a quick update and a quick dream. Jesse was out when I got up, so I could tell by the barking I had to listen to till I yelled at them to shut up. I will admit, however, that the barking’s not nearly as bad as it used to be when he’d take off. He soon came back in the truck, got propane delivered, then roared in and out on the motorcycle.

After losing a couple of pounds despite not dieting or exercising, I finally jumped a couple of tenths. Maybe I’ll do some running soon. I suppose there’s no reason to fall out of shape simply because I’m tired of dieting and going hungry. Just got a little exercise when Tom and I were playing with the rat.

In real life, I got a free inspirational calendar for joining this site and was having fun reading the quotes off to Tom and altering some of the words. I changed “relieve every hurt” to “relieve every bladder” and shit like that.

It’s raining out there and I’ve been hearing the usual scattering of loud vehicles at Jesse’s place, though only twice so far. I heard a huge truck not even 5 minutes after I got up and I thought it was a propane truck, but when I looked out the window I saw a white pickup with a shell. The sound didn’t seem to fit the vehicle.

Also, our connection is still cutting in and out like crazy. It was fine throughout the afternoon, but now it’s been out more than it’s been in, and we’re supposed to have a rain/windstorm tonight.

Chatted with Maliheh which I always love to do. I may be different, weird and eccentric as hell sometimes, but one thing I’m not is a self-kidder. I know it may be false hope, but false hope or not, I’m not ready to give up hope of one day seeing each other, no matter how horrible I may fear she’d think I looked.

We’ve really gotten to be good friends. I really think she might actually miss me if something happened to me. LOL, you know you like someone when you like the idea of thinking they may miss you if you were no longer around. Ah, but only the good die young and I’m too much of a bitch to die anytime soon. Sure thought we were going to last month, though, and I thought what, have I been too nice or something?

I still have my Helium stars, LOL. But only $4 in my account there. That’s why I stopped writing for them. But when are they ever going to make their decision on that other $56 article???

My mouse was seizing up last night and since getting up today. When Tom got in he determined it to be something wrong with the mouse, not the computer. The cursor was moving in super slow motion and taking forever just to move across the page. We changed the batteries, but it did it again, so we swapped the Mac and laptop mice. I like this one better anyway for the Mac because it’s smaller and fits in my hand better and the scrolling wheel is smoother.

It was then that I realized that it would be nice if I made the laptop “emergency ready,” so I set up the Yahoo toolbar with my favorites over there too, and backed up a lot of stuff.

I wasn’t even up 10 minutes when sure enough I heard Jesse fire up that damn truck. He was out for about 4 hours at which time I heard a few barks, but nothing too crazy. Then he came back, but left again shortly afterward. It’s dark now, so hopefully he’ll stop coming and going soon. I was surprised, though, that he wasn’t out tending the land or working on some annoying project. I heard sawing again, but that could be anywhere.

Once again we’ve been having to play the outage game. The net’s been cutting in and out like crazy after the fierce rainstorms we had. Yeah, yesterday wasn’t a white Christmas, but it sure was a wet one. Today there’s actually some sunshine. But until the problem is fixed, which I don’t suspect will be anytime soon, I won’t be online much and I won’t always be able to reply to messages right away. Just wanted people to know what’s going on so they don’t think I’m ignoring them or anything.

Today and yesterday have been wonderfully pain-free and wonderfully quiet. No loud motors, no barking. Jesse’s obviously out of town and has taken his damn dogs with him. Wish I could say the peace will last, but I know we’ll just be right back to the same old engine-gunning routine come tomorrow with him coming and going 3-6 times a day and doing God knows what in between.

Went out for burgers and fries earlier and God was kind enough to hold off the screaming kids. They were just entering the place as we were leaving it, LOL. There was a survey there and I immediately thought of Andy and how we’d say we lived at 69 Cherryclit Road and our phone number was (616) 666-6969, LOL.

Marie peeked in on my journal at 9am her time. I’m not surprised she’d pick this time to reminisce about those good ole days with me before her paranoia and hostility pushed me away, for it was Christmas when we first met up after 26 long years.

From the looks of it, she’s still living in the same trailer.

Yesterday ended a lot better than it began. It began as usual; with me in pain and Jesse’s loud motors, though it wasn’t as much pain and noise. But as the sun set, the pain went away, Jesse and his dogs were quiet, and things improved. Tom and I enjoyed pigging out, each other’s company, and playing with the rat. I also got to talk to Jessie, Andy and Maliheh.

Andy called around 6pm. He reminded me to call him Mark, but that is such a hard habit to get into after knowing him as Andy all my life, LOL. Anyway, we talked for so long and I laughed so hard that my throat was sore afterward. And all the while the rat was being sure to be naughty as can be. He was as fun and as funny as he was annoying, though. It was as if he were jealous of all the attention I was giving that phone that he just had to misbehave so I would go chasing after him and give him some of that attention.

Andy and I reminisced about the past and talked about the present. We talked about Molly, who’s already viewed my blog nearly 50 times today and whom I’m amazed hasn’t latched onto him. We talked about people we used to know and currently know. And while some memories from our days of making prank calls are still pretty funny, the thought of actually making any prank calls right now simply does not amuse me at all. There’s nothing fun or funny about the idea of it and that’s the way I’ve felt for 15 years now. Maybe more. Andy, however, still pulls occasional pranks, something I was not aware of until he told me. But hey, whatever turns him on. :)

What didn’t make any sense at all was this journal his sister Linda was contacted about from an electronic store in Arizona. The manager called her in Cali because her name and number were supposedly in this journal that someone left behind there, and I guess Andy spoke to the guy too, because he described the writings in the journal as well as the looks of it as being exactly like something that would belong to me. Only problem is that back when I was writing journals by hand I would not only not write phone numbers in them (I kept them in an address book), but why would I take it to Fry’s Electronics and then leave it there? He said this happened right around the time we burned all my journals and I switched to doing them in Word only.

“Well, maybe someone came by and dug them up,” he suggested.

No way. That’s just not possible. They’d have been nothing but ashes anyway. It’s a very strange coincidence indeed, but I’m not the only one who knew Linda or who kept journals by hand, so it could’ve been anyone.

Although Jesse’s been kind enough to keep himself and his dogs quiet so far today, Andy really nailed it to the point by saying that Jesse’s really taken from us what we came here for. It’s true, too. He has totally spoiled the peace and stolen the days from me. A peaceful day in the country? Ha! That’s just a dream. I still have the nights, but the days are gone. Gone until it gets hot again and that’s not for half a year. Come Monday he’ll be right back at it again, coming and going like crazy and making sure I have to know about it every single time he does. But when you know you’ve got a noise curse on you and every single neighbor you’ve had in the last 15 years has been a nightmare, I’m still not so sure I want to move. I’d only have to listen to someone else’s shit there. But I do sometimes get sick of being cramped in here, so we’ll see. The only neighbor Tom and I have had that was ok since we’ve been together was Kim, back up in Oregon, but even she wasn’t perfect. Not with all the car door slamming she’d sometimes do, then in the end with the way she was blasting in and out.

What was funny was when Andy said something to the effect of, “I know you. As soon as you move you’re going to send Jesse those journal excerpts letting him know just how much he pissed you off.”

Yes, but not quite, LOL. Why pay for the toner, paper and postage to send them when I can just email them to Maryann who will let him in on it for sure? She’ll be quick to tell him all about it, so instead of taking the time to print everything out, I’ll just pass the word with a single click, LOL. I’m looking forward to that day too, but that’ll depend on where we go from here. If we just go to another rental, we’ll need Jesse as a reference, so the excerpts might have to wait.

We talked about so many things that I can’t remember every little thing. It was good to laugh together like old times and to jokingly sign off with things like, “Goodbye bitch,” and “Goodbye whore,” like we do in private messages, LOL.

I also laughed at how he pronounced Nane’s name as Nayne. And at how he thought Houdini’s picture was creepy looking. That was the rat picture I had on Ask till I shut it down since Molly just can’t leave me alone. It’s like that sick bitch’s mission in life is to try her damnedest to push herself on everyone who doesn’t want anything to do with her. And why is it that the good-looking chicks don’t realize they’re good-looking while the ugly dogs think they’re the good-looking ones?

If I’m forgetting anything that I remember later on, I’ll add it to my next entry. For now, I’m going to enjoy the peace and quiet and being pain-free till it starts up once again. And sadly it’s only a matter of time before it does.

Oh, yeah. Maliheh! Now that’s one person that’s just as hard to figure now as she was 20 years ago. I talked to her last night and a few times today. She’s still cleaning and pissed at the annoying barking around her.

Just like she gave me mixed signals 20 years ago, she’s giving me them now too, though I don’t think she realizes it. If she’s not attracted to me and doesn’t have at least some feelings for me, then why does she bother with me? And why does she put up with me being flirtatious with her?

Mitch was telling me the other day that some guy was speared by an icicle north of him. What a perfect weapon that would make. Once it melts – no weapon, no prints.

My Ask account has been deactivated until there is a block feature available there. This is thanks to Molly Rose M.

Anonymous comments will also no longer be allowed on my blog either. Perhaps now it will finally sink in that no, I’m not playing around, and when I fight back I fight awfully mean and dirty when provoked long and hard enough. Especially when people I don’t even know and never wanted to know continually stalk, harass and contact me every single fucking place I go. And I don’t care if it’s to wish me a happy holiday season and not that you want to kill me or something vicious like that. “No contact” means NO FUCKING CONTACT!!!!

Other than Molly’s shit, it’s a typical day with Tom, the rat and Jesse’s loud motors. I’m sure he’ll soon be tearing up and down the drive with the kid on the dirt bike just like he was yesterday. What, does he want to lose us? Is he trying to drive us out of here? Why doesn’t he just ask us to leave if he wants us out of here or at least tell us he doesn’t give a shit either way? I really wish he’d give us just one day off from his trucks, motorpsychos, dirt bikes, chainsaws, bulldozers and whatever shit he can run to create a rack and spoil the peace! I can’t wait to get back on nights!

I want to be home in the secluded comfort of these woods, even if they’re not always so peaceful, thanks to Jesse. I also want to be on some deserted tropical island, and back down in the desert (just not Arizona), in Europe visiting my cyber friends that live there, and where my Maliheh is.

I want to stop being in pain so often, too. Still can’t tell if it’s my ear or my teeth or both, but I’d say it’s more than likely my teeth. I woke up in pain in the middle of the night, then I had some pain when I got up for good. We can’t do anything about it, though, till mid-January. We have a lot of extra expenses coming up between now and then like car insurance, propane, etc.

But why don’t bad things happen to bad people, just like Alison asked? Other than a few online pranks, I’ve been rather well-behaved for years. If anything, Maliheh’s the one that’s inspired me not to even pull those occasional pranks. So since I don’t go around robbing banks, killing people, torching buildings and beating people up, why am I being made to suffer like this??? My worst “crime” is wishing a few people didn’t exist. But don’t we all have a few people we wish didn’t exist? If someone can tell me what it is I’m missing and why I deserve this shit, do let me know.

We no longer fear they’re going to lay him off anytime soon. The question is whether or not they’re going to hire him and when. I’m going to be really damn pissed if we do end up paying for my teeth to be dealt with just to turn around and be insured right afterward.

Tom came into the room and gave me a candy cane which they gave him at work when I was chatting with Maliheh last night. I had nearly finished it all when the rat jumped up and grabbed what was left of it right out of my mouth. It was pretty funny, LOL.

Maliheh and I chatted live on Yahoo like Marie and I used to do only with her, it’s more fun. She’s still not getting all my messages, and then she herself had trouble signing into Yahoo’s chat thing. Eventually, she figured it out, and she told me her garage door wouldn’t close so she had to call someone out. But then after she came back from going on her walk, the thing still wouldn’t work, so she had to call them back out. I guess this is what she means when she says everything electronic hates her lately. At least she’s lucky enough to have a garage. I wish we did but out here it doesn’t matter as much. Not just because it’s secluded here, but because we don’t get a lot of snow or as hot as the desert.

Maliheh said I have a great sense of humor and loved it when I said North Queerolina, LOL.

I was also surprised to learn she’s reading the bio parts I’ve been posting. I didn’t think she’d be interested in the past.

I kind of hope Tom will come home with some goodies today, too. I guess they’re to be doing something special for lunch because they told everyone yesterday not to bring any lunch today.

There seems to be a dead zone of sorts in my stats. For about 5 hours a day in the afternoons, nothing’s being recorded. Yet I know people are coming in because I’m getting hit with friend requests at those times that no matter how many goddamn times I say on my ‘about’ page or anywhere else that I won’t accept them, they still hit me with anyway. I can also tell something’s wrong just by the fact that I can see 2 or 3 days’ worth of hits at once on my list. I usually get enough traffic that people are pushed off the list by the end of the day that made it onto it at the beginning of the day.

Later…

I am so sick of being in pain and so sick of Jesse’s shit! He really spoils the daytime on a regular basis lately. Engine gunning, chainsaws, hammering… he’s driving me fucking crazy!!! I swear we’re back in apartments all over again! Or at least with a neighbor just an arm’s length away. When is this shit going to end??? And when it does, what will he sic next on me??? I want OUT of here!!!

From the type of sound I heard yesterday and from what Tom’s theory is, all that loud hammering I heard pesky Jesse doing yesterday might’ve been him beating the muffler off to help make the truck quieter. I heard him start it up at 6:00 this morning, then again a couple of hours later. Yeah, it might be quieter, though it’s still audible. We never used to hear his other truck down here. The guy’s over 100’ away, too. That oughta tell you how noisy he gets.

The internet was down for 5 hours yesterday morning and cutting in and out like crazy for the rest of the day and night. I haven’t used it enough yet today to say how stable or unstable it is, but hopefully they’ve taken care of the problem.

Maliheh’s very busy, though I don’t know if she’s telling me this to avoid me or if I’m just being like Marie. I’d say she probably really is busy. Especially since she described having around 500 music books to sort through and organize in order to help her at work, 400 albums, 300 DVDs and 200 CDs. Plus a 3-foot tall stack of sheet music. So yeah, I’d say she’s probably busy and not making it up, and I also think she’s being honest about not getting all my emails, since others have said the same thing.

Haha, Dieter unfriended me on Facebook. It’s just as well since all he mostly does is complain. Twice I almost dropped him.

Later…

Well, el cocko’s home right now, since Brandy just raced by. But it’s early. He’ll gun out a couple more times before the day’s through.

Still not sure if the truck’s really any quieter, but as is the case almost every morning now, he got on my nerves enough earlier and so did Whiskey.

I’m sitting here thinking that a part of me wishes my parents would hurry up and die, but not just for whatever they may leave Tom and I. And I wish they would die together. That way one of them won’t have to be alone for a while, and that’ll make just one funeral people will be badgering me to go to and not two. But there’s no way in hell I’ll go to either one. Why should I? Just to see people I hate and end up feeling even worse than I already will? Or to end up in jail for kicking the crap out of anyone that so much as dares to even look at me wrong?

The other reason is so I can be done with Tammy. The only reason I’m being “kind” to her is so that she’ll be less likely to fuck me out of what’s due me in the end if I’m right about her being the one to execute the will.

The more I wish them dead, though, the longer they’ll live even though longevity doesn’t exactly run in my family. None of my grandparents made it past 75, so it’s kind of a surprise they’ve made it to 78 and 79. Then again, why should it be? Each generation tends to live longer than the last. Still, I should be careful about what I wish for. I just may not get it. Look how long I wished the queen would go belly up, yet it’s still alive and kicking at 87 unless she died and no one bothered to post her obit online. The Romes removed Steven’s for some reason.

Oh no, they didn’t remove it. I just checked again. I was looking up Steven before, but it’s Stephen – duh.

Anyway, if that queen doesn’t crap out by next August, my prediction for at least when she’ll die will be wrong. The good thing about knowing that she may make it to the 90s like Tom’s dad did is that this increases the chance of Tom living longer, and the only one her existence affects is Miss Perfect. She’s the one who’s got to deal with her and her selfishness unless she gets fed up enough to pawn her off on another family member or toss her in a nursing home.

I’m selfish. I really am. I’m nothing but a cold-hearted bitch who puts herself before almost everyone and almost everything. But I did say almost. The more I care about you, the more I will want to aim to please you, and if you’re that good-looking on top of it, I just may stand on my hands all day for you if you asked me to. But if I don’t know you and I stumble across you bleeding to death, chances are I’m not going to try to save you unless there’s something to gain from it or there’s a chance you might bleed all over my favorite shirt or something like that. But as long as I don’t know or care about you and there’s nothing to gain from helping you and no favorite shirts at risk, then you’re welcome to continue on your merry way of bleeding to death. :) In other words, you “collectors” out there can take all your friend requests and shove them up your asses! Really, why would you want to be friends with someone who wishes her siblings would cease to exist so she doesn’t have to share her inheritance?

It’s just after 8am on Tuesday morning as I write this in Word, waiting for our internet connection to return so I can copy it into my blog. We recently had a big storm so hopefully all it is is them fixing whatever the storm may’ve damaged. It’s been down since 7:00. If it’s not back by noon I’ll call Tom and leave him a message.

I’ve been getting some surprising and unfortunate reports about people insisting they’ve been to my blog that has failed to show up on my tracker, and also a lack of a ‘leave comment’ button appearing on their end so they could leave comments. It explains some things, though. There have been times lately when I don’t get any traffic – or at least don’t appear to – for up to 5 hours at a time, which I thought was a bit weird. Between that and the lack of comments I just figured I was getting boring. Nothing exciting usually happens in my life. I’m just a middle-aged, happy but imaginative housewife who would never leave her hubby, but who also wishes she could be with someone she was never meant to have. And speaking of comments, I don’t want any saying she would’ve made my life hell and that I’d be so miserable I’d just want to die and all that shit! But that’s the extent of my life. I sit here wishing and waiting to be insured and to have a home of our own, away from annoying landlords. But I also enjoy doing the things I love to do, half the time with a rat on my shoulder, and interacting with those I care about, intimately or not.

Maliheh was one of those whom I finally heard from last night. She said she looked in on my blog twice that day and the day before as well, so my tracker was obviously not working at least for a while.

She was also unhappy – not mad – but unhappy that I mentioned her being on vacation, reminding me to please not mention anything we talk about. Of course I’ll try harder to remember not to mention even the most trivial things, but sometimes I get sick of people complaining and all the things they’ve been asking me to do or not to do lately. Maliheh doesn’t want things mentioned, Andy doesn’t want things mentioned, Dieter didn’t like how I used the word “motherfucker” in my status, but isn’t it supposed to be my journal and my status updates? Why do people bother reading these things if they’ve got a problem with them anyway? Dieter insisted he didn’t have a problem with me, just that one word, but in cases of things like this that can’t hurt us, wouldn’t it be easier not to read them than to complain? I can see how Maliheh would worry she could’ve lost her job over the story, but it just seems silly to complain over people’s use of words and if they say they’re on vacation of all things. Half the world is on vacation now!

Maliheh assured me, though, that that’s not why she hasn’t been around, but because she’s been busy instead, trying to get her place in order and taking Booty to the vet for minor surgery.

But I thought the second home organizer she had out to the house already got her place in order.

I’m sick of all tech issues! People flying under radar on my blog, emails never received, downloading/uploading issues… the list goes on and on. I wonder if the drama queen got the email I told her on FB I’d send her. It just seems odd that she wouldn’t respond, but so be it. I still don’t wish to be in touch with this person anyway.

I know this may be considered mean but I did a major Facebook friend cleanup job the other day, cutting my friend count from 47 to 31. I just wanted to keep those I’ve actually met or talked to and weed out the collectors.

Now that damn cock is hammering and slamming something around up there. It never takes a day off! We rented a house much older than this trailer up in Oregon and we had only a few problems in the two years we were there, yet there’s always something going on around here. Always. We are just sooo cursed in the neighbor department! And it’s obvious he’s not going to stop this shit anytime soon or get a new truck. So we’re back to the home-all-the-time neighbor that just can’t sit still for long. I’m kind of surprised, too. He was never home before, so I didn’t expect him to be home all the time all of a sudden.

Wow, no messages or even blog peek-a-boos from Maliheh yesterday. I thought I’d hear more from her now that she’s on vacation. But I know there are a lot of storms going on that might’ve knocked her power out. It’s a miracle we didn’t lose power ourselves yesterday, though the net was slow at times. I’m glad I wasn’t asleep because we had hail and some pretty ferocious thunder, too.

But I got to wake up in pain instead. Yeah, I had another one of those killer toothaches. The kind I first think is connected to my ear. It was horrible and nothing seemed to help it at first. Why does God sic this shit on me so often? I practically drowned myself in a bottle of Aleve, but it took forever to dull the pain enough to fall asleep. Then I woke up a few hours later in pain once again and took some more Aleve. I fell back asleep pretty fast. When I got up for good it ached, but not nearly as bad, and right now I’m fine.

When I’m going through such pain I say, “Ok, this is it. I’ve got to get to a dentist – even if I have to pay for it myself – and deal with this shit once and for all.”

But when I’m not in pain I realize how much I’d hate to have to shove so much of our “savings” into my mouth, and that I would only be swapping in an old problem for a new one of some kind.

He did learn, however, that in just a couple of months, we’ll be eligible for paid holidays/vacations and insurance through the temp company if he doesn’t get hired on. It’s just that the temp company’s insurance would be more expensive.

Now, on with someone who’s too much a part of our everyday lives and who I expect to hear from any time now. Jesse. Tom talked to him yesterday when he came down for our latest problem and learned why he’s been driving this horrendously loud old truck lately. It also added one more “coincidence” to the ever-growing list of accidents, illnesses and injuries to those who have either annoyed me or screwed me over in some way. And again, I did not consciously wish for this to happen. Not quite anyway. I have sometimes wished Jesse would not get killed, but at least be in a wheelchair for a while so he can’t be tending the land and making so much noise.

First he came down on the ATV to pump water that had pooled by where the septic tank is, and to dig a trench to help guide it away. Apparently, when the idiot dragged that dead tree up to his place, it created a trench along the way for the rain to run down and pool at the septic. And Tom’s flushing the toilet 50 times when he clogged it up earlier didn’t help either, LOL, which we laughed about.

He’s been widening his driveway so he can turn around easier, so that’s part of the racket I’ve been hearing lately and why someone came to pick up trees. He’s just about done with this project, but that’s ok. Within a week or two we’ll just go right into a whole new project.

Anyway, Tom casually mentioned the truck he’d been driving and Jesse came out and asked if the police had been by. Tom said no and asked what he meant, and that’s when he told him that supposedly a deer popped out in front of him, causing him to lose control of his truck, roll over and total it. We wouldn’t be surprised if he were really drunk at the time. I know for a fact he drives drunk because that day we lost power and I was up there trying to get him to call the electric company, he was already blitzed and planning to head into the city for the night, which he no longer appears to be doing judging by the sound of the quiet Friday nights we’ve been having lately.

The point is that once again we’re wondering if I both consciously, but mostly unconsciously, influenced this to happen because he’d been doing a fine job of annoying the hell out of me lately. This happened right after the annoying as hell 5-hour bulldozing expedition I had to listen to. It’s kind of funny, but it’s not since I’m the one that has to deal with it by having to listen to him run and gun engines for nearly an hour a day when you consider that he comes and goes 3-6 times a day and does this for 10-15 minutes each time he leaves. And it’s another classic example of how I’m affected by the events in other people’s lives, but they’re never affected by mine.

Then there was the puppy, too. I was so pissed to learn of its existence, knowing I would then have to listen to 3 of them barking up a storm when he used to work instead of 2. Then ironically enough, it got run over.

I just wonder if he’s going to get a new truck once the insurance company pays out the value of the other one, which I would think they’re going to do.

The drama queen certainly wasn’t on disability and sniffing oxygen when she and her kids picked on me the summer before last. And funny how the tables have turned, too. She was picking on us for living in poverty and having nothing but a dingy old trailer in life back when she was pissed at me, yet now we’re doing pretty good while she’s on disability. Well, you don’t get shit from disability, so unless Mark’s making good money – and I hope for her sake he is – she’s looking at a lifetime of financial woes. I should know. I’ve been there before. From the mid-80s to the mid-90s.

Later…

It’s been a dryer, quieter day than I expected, though I did hear the truck a couple of times.

It’s Maliheh I’m getting a little worried about. After one day of not hearing from her, I thought she was just exhausted and catching up on her sleep. But after two days I’m thinking her wifi might be acting up. Or maybe something went wrong with her mother. I just hope she’s ok and that she’ll find a way to get word to me soon enough, whatever’s going on!

Do I think she dumped me? Well, anything’s possible, but I highly doubt it. If she got sick of me or upset with me for any reason, I would think she’d be the first to tell me. I will, however, admit it’s a bit odd that she should disappear, for whatever reason, at the start of her vacation.

Unfortunately, I have no way to track her online activity. We’re not Facebook friends, she doesn’t tweet, nor does she blog, so all I can tell is when she’s checking her mail and I haven’t seen her doing this.

Are people getting the email messages I’ve sent them lately? And am I getting emails they’ve sent me? I really thought I’d hear from Maliheh yesterday, but never did. I sent her a message when I first got up yesterday, but there was nothing all day from her or waiting for me when I got up at 2am today. Oh well. Guess she’s been busy.

Got a Hanukah card with a 20-dollar bill in it from Mom and Dad which was very nice. :)

A transformer blew out somewhere around here. The wind and rain have been fierce. The lights dimmed for a second and then I heard the explosion. Tom said he didn’t hear anything, but as he was entering the drive on the way back from the store he saw a bright flash of light behind him. The internet’s been acting up, too.

I talked to Andy, Jessie, Doreen and Nane yesterday. Today I talked to Nane, Dieter, Mitch and Maria. Maria’s the one I went to Valleyhead with, in case you’re wondering, and Andy and Jessie are childhood friends. Doreen also went to the same so-called “school” Maria and I went to, but we never actually met because she was there in the 90s. I was there in the 80s. Doesn’t matter. There’s still a special sisterhood between Valleyheaders whether they knew each other or not.

Anyway, I think I’ve probably spent more time on Facebook in the last couple of days than in the last few months alone!

I was surprised and pleased to hear of the repeal of DADT yesterday. I didn’t think that damn thing would ever go away. But as I was saying to someone else who asked, I still think we have a long way to go for overall equality. You’ve got groups like blacks who have more rights than whites and groups like gays who have less than just about everybody. I’d like to see blacks no longer exempt from being charged with hate crimes and given special treatment in the workplace and the courts. And I’d like to see whites be able to have a White History Month if they want one without being called racists. Furthermore, I’d like to see gays be allowed to marry nationwide. But seeing is believing for me.

I went down 2½ pounds which is rather ironic since I ate like a pig yesterday, LOL. Tom says my expectations are too high and that it’s more reasonable to expect to lose a pound a week, not a pound a day.

That damn cock up the hill is still driving me nuts with the truck, coming and going, running and gunning the engine for 15 minutes at a time. I’m sorry, but no vehicle, no matter how old it is, needs to be revved up like that for that long or left to idle.

Tom doesn’t think he sold his other truck. God, I hope not!

So much for thinking the rain would save me from Jesse’s shit. I not only had to sit and listen to his insanely loud truck warm-up for 10 minutes every time he would take off, but it also didn’t stop him from doing whatever the hell he’s been doing around here. I still can’t figure it out. I heard him start the thing up and do his little engine gunning thing, then I heard the truck start to move. I figured I’d see him come down his drive at that point through the trees, but instead, he was actually going up the drive. Then he came back down in reverse a few minutes later.

I just really hope to hell they hire him on because yeah, I’m ready to move. I’m sick of his shit and there always, always being something going on here! But after dealing with this shit for over 2½ years now, I know nothing’s going to change. He just can’t sit still for long. And I’m sure that even though it’s the weekend, and even if he doesn’t work on the land, I’ll still have to hear the fucking truck come and go 6 times today.

At this point, I think it’s pretty safe to say he sold his other truck. Now that he’s retiring – and knowing how much he loves loud vehicles – I’m sure he’d prefer a loud, old piece of shit to go with his cars, motorcycles, dirt bikes and bulldozers.

I know we’ll never escape the neighbor noise curse no matter how much we try to distance ourselves from others, and so I’m ready to start looking for a bigger, newer place. If we’re just going to have to listen to it no matter where we go, we may as well do it at 1000 square feet instead of 500.

Yesterday I said we were going to lose 4 days of pay, but we’re actually going to lose 2. He works 4 days next week and 4 after that. There I was all psyched for him to work, not just for obvious reasons, but so I could have more time alone, and then he starts when we have tons of holidays, LOL. Then again, the holiday season is the worst time to be on unemployment when the checks are delayed and there’s the potential for things to get lost.

On the bright side, they started training him yesterday on the most complicated testing equipment in his department, which helps make us think they’re not going to get rid of him after the first of the year. But will they hire him? It’s still a common practice these days to hire temps that never get hired on. I just wish someone would finally hire him on so I could get to a fucking dentist! If not I’ll have to either continue to suffer or we’ll pay for it ourselves.

The rat, as usual, has me wanting to strangle him at the same time he cracks me up. He has this habit of licking the condensation off the slider, and he’s decided that he loves lapping up water like a dog so much instead of drinking from the spout of his water bottle, that he should chew holes in the corners of his bottle so he can lap it up. Yeah, that’s how smart rats are. The bottle is sort of square-shaped, and he chewed holes in the top front corners and even tilted the bottle so he could reach the water easier, the damn little devil! That’s an expensive bottle, too. So I took it out before he could fuck it up even more and gave him a bowl of water to lap from.

What was funny as hell was that yesterday he’d just jumped onto the couch when I said, “You want to go outside?” and wiggled the doorknob. He leaped off the couch, flew across the room, and was jumping up and down by the door, LOL. I don’t know what his obsession with the outdoors is all about, but of course I won’t let him out there in case the dogs or any cats go by. I just open the door a tiny crack so he can sniff the outdoors.

Maliheh had another home organizer go to her place who she says really knows her stuff. They got a lot done in a few hours, she told me. She must have a ton of extra money to be able to afford such services!

Later…

I decided to allow tracking of Molly's activity just to see where she goes. She appears to open a lot of old entries when she’s not sitting there refreshing the page over and over again. Today, however, she must have somewhat of a life because she’s not accessing my blog every few minutes as usual. I’ll block her from tracking again when I get sick of her.

Aside from a couple of engine gunning sprees (yeah, 7 days a week that’s going to be the story of our lives), and the cold, wind and rain, today’s been a fun day. Tom and I are enjoying some sweet treats, the rat’s been loads of fun, and I had a lovely chat with Nane.

She’s bored and wishing I was snowed in with her and her champagne. As hot as she is, I’m glad I’m not! LOL, I’d love to meet her, but not in the snow. I’ll pass on the champagne, too.

She cracks me up big time. Yeah, she had me laughing so damn hard because they measure weight and height differently in Europe and she was telling me she was 5’ 8”, just a “little” taller than me, and she weighs 369 pounds, LMAO! She was just joking, though. In reality, she’s about 140 pounds.

She also had me cracking up when I was talking about the states I’ve lived in and she commented about me being a Midwestern ratgirl. I said, “That’s not the Midwest, silly!” But she doesn’t know her geography very well. That’s ok. Neither do I. I’ve only recently been learning my way around Europe, though her beloved Turkey and Greece fall just below Europe, sort of in the Middle East.

I told her that after we take the Italy trip, I’ll enter to win a trip to the Munich area and leave it to fate, though I sure as hell ain’t going there in the winter!

When she lived here when she was 23 she came to not like the US and hasn’t been here since. She said that was when she was still young and pretty. As I told her, she may not be young, but she’s still pretty. And she told me I looked pretty as hell and was very attractive. Well, I don’t think so, but I’m flattered she does. And even though she doesn’t have the dark eyes I thought she had. She said they’re actually more like a bluish-gray. Wow, I didn’t know that. They look brown in her pictures. So now she and Maliheh both lack something. Nane lacks the dark eyes and Maliheh lacks the height.

Speaking of Maliheh, I had hoped to hear from her today, but so far nothing’s come in from her. Oh well, maybe later. She seems to prefer doing email at night anyway.

Back to Nane. She is so sweet. Why couldn’t I have had fun with people like her before I got married? Because true lust wasn’t meant to be, that’s why. It’s nothing new or anything I don’t know.

I like how she’s 95% reality and just 5% flirtatious. Marie was 50% dirty talk and 50% paranoia which was definitely a bit much for me, LOL.

Anyway, she hates Germany and is looking forward to retiring to Greece or Turkey someday. I don’t blame her. She posted pictures of her neighborhood which is covered in snow. I sent her the link to the satellite image of our place. The same one I sent Maliheh a few days ago. She said she can see the chairs on her terrace on Google Earth.

I now have Molly’s physical address. I gave her an ultimatum in my blog, knowing she’ll read it, and that’s that if she ever contacts me again, I will decide at that time whether to contact her local police department and file a formal complaint (this isn’t likely knowing how worthless the pigs can be) or to plaster her address all over the internet. It’s her choice. If she does not wish for any of these things to happen, then she will never contact me again. She can look, she can “like,” she can follow, she can read, but she cannot and will not contact me ever again by any means on any site at any time.

I’m trying to help give my schedule a little push to shove it ahead a little further so Maliheh and I can both be on vacation together, so to speak. But by the end of next week, I should be back to being up in the evenings anyway. That’s our prime time. :) I know we’ll both still have other things we gotta do, but it’ll still be nice to be vacationing at the same time.

We’re going to lose 4 days of pay for the rest of the month – fucking holidays! But we made sure not to spend any extra money, so we’ll be ok.

Ask was rocking with tons of questions yesterday. Except for any asstrolls interfering, it was kinda fun. I’ve already answered nearly 100 questions. Wonder if any of them were from Maliheh, though they were a bit too well-written for her.

When I heard that damn truck start up and saw it head down the drive at just 7:00 yesterday morning, I thought to myself, you gotta be kidding! Now? He’s going to work on the land now this early and at 37º? But he left and didn’t come back till around noon. Either someone was there or he took the dogs with him because I never once heard any barking.

It’s obvious he either sold, loaned, or is having work done on his other truck, which sucks. This old one he’s been driving is much too loud. And because it’s old he sits there running and gunning it forever. And I’m sick of all the land activity! He was flying around on the ATV, then Tom saw some truck in the drive gathering trees. It’s someone he hired to do it. I guess maybe they mulched the wood or something, but when oh when are we going to have fewer outdoor projects to have to deal with? Not for the next 5 days, I hope, because it’s going to be raining through Tuesday. And since I’m going to be crashing in the late afternoon, I shouldn’t have to deal with tonight’s barking fit if he’s still spending Friday nights in the city.

Later…

Our little engine gunner just came out to run and gun the fucking truck for 10 minutes. I know older vehicles take longer to fire up, but 10 minutes?! And I think he simply turned it off in the end too, and never went anywhere. What, is he just doing it just do it? Just to get attention or something? If he really did go anywhere, though it didn’t sound like he did, someone must be staying with him because the dogs are quiet and I doubt he’d take them with him in the rain. Really wish we could just go a whole day without hearing from him!

You would think I would’ve learned by now not to be dumb enough to post links here or anywhere else where Molly might see them, but it’s too late now. I signed up at a site similar to Formspring called Ask. I tipped Aly and Kim off and they joined soon afterward. And Molly was quick to follow us.

Will someone please help me to understand stalkers? I never would’ve thought I’d be stalked by someone I don’t even know. I thought stalkers usually stalked those they’re at least somewhat acquainted with other than in cases of celebrity stalking. Yet here I am being stalked by a virtual stranger who’s only latched onto me because she was once friends with her main target. And even though I, as well as others, are clearly being stalked, it’s all being kept within “reasonable” limits that can’t legally be classified as stalking, even though that’s exactly what it is because I have made it clear to this person that I don’t want anything to do with them. Yet they keep their contact minimal enough and non-threatening enough for us to be able to do anything about it.

I just don’t get it, though. Why would anyone want to put their energy into following and harassing those who don’t want any contact from them instead of putting that energy into interacting with those who do? There are so many people out there who want to know us that I just don’t see the point. Is it the thrill of the chase or something that turns these people on? But why? There’ll be no capture in the end, so why chase what you can’t catch?

If Maliheh ever told me to fuck off I’d be hurt and I’d miss her, but I’d also be quick to respect her wishes. No one’s obligated to remain in my life any more than I’m obligated to remain in theirs, and I know this.

Ask has no block feature, believe it or not, so I’ll deactivate the account if the abuse gets bad.

Haven’t chatted with Maliheh in a few days now – fucking schedule curse! – but I hope we will soon. I miss her, but she’s always on my mind just the same. :) She sure was when we were looking at land for sale in the area just to get an idea of what’s out there. Tom said it was surprisingly cheaper than he thought it would be, too. Well, we still don’t know if we’ll end up in a senior community or on acreage, but the fantasies sure turned themselves on at the thought of us living on a 10-acre parcel with a trailer or some other place on it that we rented to Maliheh, LOL. She’d make the perfect neighbor! Yeah, I know. It’s just a fantasy. But it sure is a fun one!

She was in really late, like at around 2am her time. Hope she wasn’t waiting up for me and losing sleep for nothing! I’d say she just couldn’t sleep. I sent her an email letting her know I miss her but hope to catch her this weekend and on her vacation.

I got to laugh at Nane when I saw her cold, snowy weather forecast. It was cool to see it in German and to be able to understand it, too. My weather is like a sauna to her, she said, LOL. She and I decorated each other’s walls again and then I ended up sleeping forever. Like 10-11 hours. I had a million dreams, but none of Maliheh.

The rat “helped” me dust the living room yesterday, chasing after the duster and things like that. He is so damn cute! It’s so funny how he runs to the door when I say, “wanna go outside?” But of course I won’t let him in case a cat goes by.

Been playing tag with my GF for a couple of days now due to our schedules clashing, but even though we haven’t chatted “live” we’ve swapped a few messages just to touch base. And she “checks in” too, which lets me know she’s alive and well and puts a smile on my face while she’s at it.

I was off to a slow start when I got up. I usually update my status right away so people can know when I’m awake and what I’m up to, but I was lazy at first.

I got up just after 8:30, went to check for messages, saw she was on, then sent a message. But as soon as I sent it, she went offline. Or so I thought. I forget she has multiple computers which I realize – duh – is why she doesn’t always get overwritten on my stats list. It not only recognizes individual IPs but individual browsers as well. Anyway, I figured she’d gone to bed so I went off to shower and do other things. But then she sent a picture of her cat with a Christmas hat on. It was cute, but I wish she’d send pics of herself! Hopefully, she’s been getting the messages she hasn’t responded to, but I think it’s safe to say she has.

I both hate and like being on nights. On nights our schedules clash, but I don’t have to listen to Jesse’s shit so much either. But now that I’m staying up till the early afternoons, he’s been on my nerves again. I thought I heard something running for a few minutes up there at 9:30, but whatever it was wasn’t as loud and vibrant as what I heard Monday, and it didn’t last as long. It was rainy and windy yesterday, so that’s why it was quieter. It’ll be fairly dry and in the 50s for the rest of the week, so I’m sure he’ll drive me crazy enough then. Gotta keep the sound machines on just to concentrate on my writing. But the good thing is knowing that the next 8 or 9 hours will be nice and quiet. :)

When I saw Maliheh’s forecast I pretty much struck her state from the possibilities list, LOL. Sorry, but I just can’t see myself moving to where it gets down to 16º at night!

Tom said it’d be better to look on Craigslist than rent.com since rent.com does mostly apartments and condos. I should’ve thought of that too, as that’s how we found this place. Still not sure it’s worth moving, especially if we really are buying a place in less than two years, but it doesn’t hurt to keep my eyes open as to what’s out there. I’m not only sick of Jesse, but I’m also sick of being crammed into such bummy old places! Oh, to have a full-size washer/dryer readily hooked up, a dishwasher and an extra bathroom! I miss those things and I hate having to pee when he’s in the shower. And I would really love 3 bedrooms but would settle for 2.

The situation with actor Rip Torn is a reminder of why I rarely read the news. It only pisses me off. He gets 5 minutes of probation for storming a bank drunk armed while I got 6 months in jail and 2 years of probation for a threatening letter I never sent. Why is it that the more serious the crime, the less you pay? If that’s the case I oughta just go up and run Jesse over with his fleet of vehicles and shut him up that way! I’ll only get a slap on the wrist for it, so why not?

I’m working on a few writing projects now, some of which I can share and others which I’m not at liberty to share. Not sure if I’m going to post any more of the ones I can share since I’m still not sure where I’m going with it. Unlike most authors, I let the story lead me more than I lead it. Yes, I start off with some general ideas, but I don’t have the nitty-gritty details all mapped out up front like most writers, and with just under 1000 words, I’d say it hasn’t led me very far yet.

I’m so sick of being hungry just to not lose much weight that only comes right back and have decided to just accept the fact that I was meant to be big just like 99% of those over 30. I know not dieting means I’ll gain a pound a day for life instead of just not losing weight like most people who don’t diet, but I was the one that said I’d like to even out our lifespans after all by not being so damn healthy since women usually live a decade longer than men and I’m almost a decade younger than Tom. Getting humungous will be a much more fun way to ruin my health than returning to smoking would be. And cheaper too, since I don’t exactly have to eat like a pig to do it with my barely functioning metabolism. Oh yes, high blood pressure here I come!

Tom installed blackout corners on my laptop now that they’ve finally got a program for Vista. This way I can listen to music in the dark like I prefer and not have to put that stupid box cover over the screen so it’s not so damn bright.

Jesse’s been running and gunning loud engines, as usual, and getting on my nerves like he loves to do every other day. I looked on rent.com, but there is not one single house for rent in this town or any of the neighboring towns. It’s all apartments and condos. Am I missing something? Besides, I’m still not sure I want to go and pay a few hundred more in rent just because we can and take a chance at ending up someplace noisier.

There’s a 70% chance of rain today, so hopefully that’ll shut him up. Only the rain and the heat seems to keep him quiet. Every other dry day that’s under 85º I gotta hear some kind of shit coming from up there. I expected him to be noisy today because I hadn’t heard from him in a few days. I just didn’t think he’d spoil the peace and break my concentration (I was working on one of my stories) at 8:00. He usually doesn’t start his shit till between 9:00 - 11:00. Wish it could rain every day that I’m on days when it’s not summer!

Didn’t talk to Maliheh but she checked my blog once which was nice. That way I don’t have to worry that anything’s wrong. No guarantees I’ll be up before she crashes tomorrow night, though, as I told her.

My hair is now the perfect shade of dark brown. It’s dark and sexy, but not so dark that it looks witchy against my light skin.

But I was only down half a pound today, so that’s not good. At least the scale’s not going up. Decided to try running in place super fast for two minutes every half hour. That way I’ll get nearly an hour’s worth of exercise a day without jarring my joints so much or getting all sweaty.

Eileen is both happy and sad lately. A good childhood friend killed himself that named her to execute his will, so she had to fly down to Dallas to be sworn in.

But all three of her kids are expecting. How weird. I mean, what are the odds with fewer people having kids, particularly marrieds? But she is happy because as she said, she gets to play with them and send them home.

Once again we decided to put a hold on trying to sell the Beanie Babies until the economy picks up. There are just too many of them not selling. There was a 250-lot that was only at $26, and we don’t want to just give them away. We have given and we have done enough for others at our expense. Excluding those I care about, now it’s time to be a little selfish and do for us.

Still not sure about staying here until we buy our forever home, wherever that may be. I hate being cramped in here, and yes, we can now afford a nicer place, but the dogs have been quieter since Jesse’s been out of work, and this is about as cheap as it gets for California. I like the money we can save here and it sure would be more convenient if the next stop could be to our own home. All we pay is $825 in rent, a couple hundred a year for propane, $15 a month for the next year for our DSL, plus food, gas and cell phone time. We don’t have an electric or a water bill and everything is in Jesse’s name, including the internet. We don’t get our mail here but have been getting free service where we do get it for over a year now, LOL, as they keep forgetting to charge us.

I’m both happy for and proud of someone special right now. :) IDK, maybe I am a little in love. Quite often silence speaks a thousand words, though her not saying anything one way or another about my feelings for her only serves to add to the mystery. Why keep in touch every day with someone you supposedly only like as a friend? And who needs a friend that bad that they’d bother with someone on the other side of the country? Could it be guilt over her going off on me in the past and not giving us a chance? Something else? She both “acts” and doesn’t “act” like it’s mutual, so as usual, I don’t know what to make of her.

Anyway, she said the show went well, is glad it’s over, and is proud of her kids. Wow, so she teaches kids? Didn’t think she’d have the patience for that, LOL.

Mutual or not, I decided to give her a whole day off from saying anything flirty or dirty, LOL.

Sometimes when we talk I go to tell her something about myself and find myself wishing she’d read my bio so I didn’t have to go through it again. But not everyone likes to read and she’s one of them. This is ok too, as we all have our likes and dislikes. But then I got the idea to copy/paste snippets of my bio into my blog and include them in my regular entries a little at a time. And it wouldn’t be just so she can get to know me better, but for others as well who might not have tuned in until later on in this blog’s life. It’ll be a reintroduction of sorts. I’ll make sure not to copy too much at once so it won’t be too much reading for her or for anyone else.

Chatted with Maliheh earlier. I gotta admit that girl cracks me up with the way she puts up with some of the shit I say, particularly the more suggestive stuff. At the same time, it’s a bummer it’s not reciprocated, it’s kinda funny how she simply ignores it and goes right on as if I never said anything of the kind, LOL. She is one tough and tolerant lady! I try to limit my flirting, though, and even in cases where the attraction is mutual, like with Nane and I, too much is too much even if it’s a good thing.

One of the things I love most about her is that she has never tried to change me. Not anything about me personally, not the way I think, not the way I live – nothing.

As much as she loves her job, she’s glad she has only a week left till vacation, learned a friend of a fellow musician from long ago died of cancer, and doesn’t believe she herself would bother to fight if she learned she had stage 3 cancer. She said the chemo thing doesn’t interest her, so she’d sell all her stuff and spend her final days in Hawaii.

I wouldn’t even fight stage 1. At my age, I’ve lived long enough and I gotta go someday anyway. So why make myself even more miserable just to maybe survive? I’d just blast music, write up a storm, and eat like a pig!

She was an armed guard at a bank for a while as well as for Capitol Records down in L.A. which she said was no fun since she doesn’t like guns.

Her mother’s got ALS which is a terrible disease to have from what I read and won’t live more than 3-5 years. Both her parents were/are unhealthy with mainly heart and circulatory problems. Her mother was so heavy people constantly asked when she was due. But she was adopted and knows nothing about her bio folks, so she’s not so worried about getting these things herself.

Tomorrow night’s the show, which she says she’ll be glad is finally done and over with. Wish I could be there to see it!

She also asked more about my sleep patterns, saying it’s hard to tell when I sleep. I explained a little more about it and also sent her a link explaining it more in detail.

She said it’s been raining and she was able to take a peaceful nap today as that’s the only time the dogs are taken indoors. Not here! She also sleeps with a fan on cuz she can’t stand outside noise.

Got kind of warm out today and I had to sleep with the fan on myself. It’ll be near 70º tomorrow. Wish I weren’t on nights, but nights are great for writing!

Hulu is really pissing me off lately with all their damn commercials. And now I can’t watch any Lifetime movies until next year because all they’re having this month are Christmas-related movies. When are people going to realize that not everyone is into this Christmas shit? I can’t wait for this year to end! I hate how Christmas does nothing but disrupt and delay things. December needs to be removed from the calendar completely.

On the bright side, it may be a good time to finally get rid of some of the Beanie Babies, so we’re going to start listing them again tomorrow.

Tom started to come down with a cold, but I was able to kill it before it could set in.

I had a dream where I was back in my old apartment in 1990 playing the intro to the Guns & Roses song Sweet Child O’ Mine on the guitar (yeah, I used to play that shit), and a two-second dream of Maliheh.

I decided that I had to take a day off from dieting yesterday rather than wait till today. I expected a two-pound setback but only gained back one. Been up since 6pm and there’s no eating allowed till 2am. I try to have my few hundred calories a day during the middle of my day. If it gets really bad in between I’ll have coffee or fruit. Had a few pretzels earlier with the rat.