It was a truly shitty 24th anniversary for us. Well, at least for me it was. I couldn’t fall asleep until well after midnight, and then some fucking asshole dumping decorative rocks on Tandy woke me up at 7:15. 7-fucking-15 in the morning! Really, if you can’t keep from being woken up in a retirement community that early in the morning, where can you keep from being woken up that early?

I went back to bed a couple of hours later for a few more hours but I’ve been exhausted ever since, barely able to function and having to do things in spurts. I don’t even know if I’ll finish this entry tonight but if not I’ll finish, edit and post it tomorrow. That is if they’ll let me fucking sleep next time around and I have the energy to do so. It’s looking like the Melatonin has lost its magic, however, and I’m going to be up well past midnight again just to be woken up in 3 or 4 hours. Aly recommended other OTC remedies so I’ll keep those in mind. But the fiber-optics people don’t take weekends off and they start before 8. Even if they don’t do this area tomorrow, being on a main street close to one of the gates, they’re probably going to roar past the place in their big old trucks. If not, it will just be something else.

They sent a letter a few days ago saying that within two weeks they’ll be doing our area and will send a text alert 24 hours in advance of when they plan to turn our Wi-Fi off anywhere from 4 to 8 hours. Well, they’re not doing the circle tomorrow, Saturday. But again, that doesn’t mean they won’t be zooming by real early and multiple times, too. I don’t know why they’re jumping around sporadically and doing various parts of the park but I’m really worried just how much sleep they’re going to end up depriving me of before they finally wrap it up. I’m also worried about how long it will be before the next fucking project is done. I’m so glad I don’t have a job or upcoming appointments because there would be no way to function at work and appointments would definitely be hit-or-miss.

It really sucks because I really wanted to go out today. We were going to go to the Goodwill since we rarely get to go during the week, even though it would probably still be at least somewhat crowded. We were also going to go out to eat. I know Tom appreciated getting to relax at home but I still feel bad.

I was able to do a few loads of laundry and the grocery list but I had to do it in spurts and take breaks in between.

He got the baseboards that we’re going to put in the hall to cover the unpainted areas. He was afraid to paint too low and risk getting paint on the carpet. The white adhesive baseboards will look nice.

He also put a new weather guard strip on the bedroom door to keep it from flopping closed.

Although I know it won’t do me any good, we’ve got some silicone earplugs on the way. Well, there are three different kinds actually. Silicone earplugs, which I’ve never heard of, foam earplugs, and something else. Tom can at least use them if they don’t do me any good to block the distortion in his bad ear. The hearing test he had shows he’s lost significant hearing. If he can’t get it back his only option may be to put an earplug in that ear to block out the distortion.

I was thinking how out of the three houses we’ve owned together, I have slept worse and worse in each one. Maybe a fourth move is a bad idea because if I sleep any worse than this I could very well end up being pretty sick. I don’t know that I’d want to have thunder, which I think would be pretty frequent in Florida, adding to the wake-up calls along with today’s ferocious traffic. As Tom pointed out, modern garbage trucks are louder these days due to the way they dump trash. Life just keeps getting louder but the only way to escape it is to rent some dumpy trailer in the woods or have enough money to buy land. Maybe we should check into land in Nevada when he retires.

After all these years I realize I’m never going to be allowed the luxury of sleeping well most of the time. It’s just not in my cards. Totally wasn’t meant to be any more than I was meant to have brown eyes. Why my sleep is so cursed I do not know. I just know that it’s so fucking frustrating because when I don’t get enough sleep I’m pretty useless. It isn’t much different than being drunk. How productive can a drunk be? I can’t think straight, I can’t function normally, I can’t work out but once or twice a week, and I pretty much can’t do anything consistently, especially since living here. Why go to CampNaNoWriMo? As I told Aly, there are just too many damn distractions here. On top of that, I’m woken up once or twice a week and that leaves me tired. I just can’t be consistent with things like that or with exercising. I keep hoping that one day I’ll adapt and learn to sleep through the noise of the loud vehicles, but that day never comes. I don’t understand why I’m still such a light sleeper all these years later but I am.

Anyway, if it weren’t for my phone and having speech-to-text, I wouldn’t even have this entry written. It’s much easier to edit on my laptop but I don’t have that much energy now so it will be edited and published tomorrow assuming I’m awake enough to do so I’ll backdate it to the appropriate date too.