Got the forms from iSwag, who I won the $50 from, but what’s not good is that I still haven’t received my lotions. I sent Kepa an email. The post office site says it’s still in the system, but if it was shipped on the 27th via priority mail, what’s taking so long?

Still think of that cashier nearly every waking minute, though I know it’s a waste of time bothering to go out of my way to see her. What for? Mutual attraction is a sin for me, so it seems, so why bother when she’ll only be straight, gay and taken, or gay and not interested because I’m too short, feminine and older? Tom being in the picture doesn’t help much either, but I’ll still be stupid enough to wish for a friendship and go out of my way to see her. Or at least to hope to see her. Hey, eye candy is a wonderful thing, if that’s all she can ever be, but just to have someone like me too, other than head-playing Teddy Bear, or someone else I couldn’t even be just friends with, would be so way nice.

Oh, the frustration of doing something right just to fail and never get any results! I’ve kept my calories low and even dropped to 127 pounds, which I woke up at this morning. But now, after less than 1000 calories, I’ve shot up to 131. I just don’t get what’s doing it, either. No one should gain 4 pounds eating so little, so with this discouraging me, I’ve eaten more today and haven’t bothered to work out. Why work so hard and go so hungry for nothing? I never would’ve believed it if someone told me there’d come a day when having 800-1200 calories consistently wouldn’t do the trick. Never.