Only I can have a bowl of popcorn, a beef patty, a cup of coffee, a Slim-Fast shake, and a mac & cheese cup and go from 153.2 to 156.4 in 7 hours. So yeah, going to be right where I am on the 10th, the day we guessed where we’ll be after starting diets together. Oh, he’ll get the results most people get from sticking to diets if he does stick to it, but I think I’ll be 153-154, which seems to be my new low. sighs Sometimes we can’t make our bodies do things they don’t want to do. I just have one of those bodies that don’t respond to diet and exercise. It may respond to 800-1000 calories, but that’s no way to live. Not for me, anyway. Meanwhile, we’re guessing he’ll be down to 260 and he thinks I’ll be down to 149-150. No way. LOL, just no way. He started at 270 and I started at 155. These are first-thing-in-the-morning weights.

I was frying a beef patty in Caribbean Jerk marinade when the damn thing splattered in my eye as I went to flip it. That definitely didn’t tickle!

Tom got two free pillows from work. Some company screwed up and instead of sending computer parts, they sent pillows so everybody got free pillows. I’m going to leave them in their packages and take them when we move. The pillows we’re using now should be fine until we get out of here.

We went to the pool shortly after he got in and there were four other women there. The water was chilly but still pleasant.

When I came back I had a strange toothache. It was more like that section of my jaw ached than the tooth itself. It was by my upper I-teeth, towards the right.

So I’m back on Ask, as I said yesterday, and I see that Aly’s account goes back 6 months. In one of her answers from January, she says she’s currently considering cutting someone out of her life and I can’t help but wonder if that was me she was referring to, but more than likely it was either Molly or Kim. I asked her on WhatsApp but if I don’t get an answer, then maybe it really was me.

I know that because she’s already dumped me once, she could do it again but if she does, that’s it. I’m not going to fight for her or anyone else who doesn’t want to be in my life. I may not be as unforgiving as I wish I was, but I think one area I have improved in is not wasting time over those who don’t want to bother with me. I’m not going to lower and belittle myself by begging someone to stick around. I’m going to just enjoy every day that they’re in my life and leave it at that.

Aly’s both easy and tricky to deal with. She’s great because she’s very intelligent and she’s not the least bit judgmental. But she is very emotional and sensitive and one can never know what may upset her and that could be the most innocent of statements and even single words. Hell, the word “busy” is a trigger for her because it reminds her of when she would be told by adults as a kid that they were busy and to go find something else to do. So I could say that I took my nose spray earlier and maybe the word “nose” will be a horrible trigger for her. While I certainly wouldn’t want to intentionally offend her, I’ve got to be myself as well, so I’m careful not to mention those few trigger words but I’m not going to worry about every single fucking thing I say either. No one can please everyone. No one. There’s nothing we can say, think, do or believe that wouldn’t offend someone somewhere.

Funny how as soon as we make up our minds to go rural in a year or two, I don’t hear the mama’s boy for a few days. As in, things getting quieter before we move, as usual. Then again, he does disappear every now and then and it’s not like a year or two is a few months from now.

Although I would have preferred to schedule my Revenge story on a different Google account, creating multiple accounts at the same place can be a pain in the ass, so I’ve scheduled it in a blog of its own to publish in 2055. I know there’s a risk that the entire account would be shut down if someone saw it and reported it, be it the people I want it seen by or not, thus canceling out the journals that are scheduled in their own blog also for 2055, but there are no guarantees anyway. The scheduling is only for if we both died suddenly and unexpectedly without warning, like in a car crash or something. If I know I’m going to die or we both know we’re both going to die or I die suddenly, one of us will publish what I want to be published.

Last night I dreamed I was going to some doctor somewhere that might have been a dentist. Or maybe not. I’m not really sure. She was reluctant to see me because she thought I might like her a little too much. This wasn’t true but I asked if she could at least take care of something she had started on, but I’m not sure what. Then she said, “Yeah, I guess I’m obligated to finish blah blah blah…”

After seeing her, I left her office which was in a small building and realized I was barefoot. So I went back in and searched for my shoes and couldn’t find them. I gave up and went back outside. But then I really wanted my shoes because I didn’t want to step on anything that could cut my feet, so knowing that I had them when I went in there and that they had to be in there somewhere, I went back in, determined to find them before they closed, which was soon.

Unable to find the shoes upon a second search, I started to get really worried that I would be stuck there barefoot. I don’t know if I was expecting someone to pick me up or if I just couldn’t get very far without shoes in order to call for a ride or get home on my own. For a split second, I was tempted to smash their windows once they closed to trigger their alarms and alert the police that I was stuck there. Then I quickly dismissed the idea, knowing they would take me to jail and not home if I did.

In another dream, I seemed to be waiting forever in some kind of car parts store. The store had a little waiting room in back and I was sitting with half a dozen other people waiting for the cashier to be available. I thought about getting some headlights that I knew my mother needed, but then thought better of it in case I got the wrong ones.