“I am a liberal Democrat and even I don’t see what is wrong with going after illegal immigrants who have ALREADY HAD THEIR DAY IN COURT and have been ordered deported and they are still here (that’s who they say they are going after, though if you are here illegally and happen to be right there when they find someone who should have been deported, they will be taken into custody too). I live in a sanctuary city and I don’t understand why we are protecting people who are here illegally. If I went to another country illegally, I wouldn’t expect them to protect me. And they wouldn’t.”

She’s wrong! We MUST protect our illegals and put them first and foremost! We must give these criminals things that we have to pay for, like healthcare. Hey, it’s only fair. So what if they drive crime rates and overcrowding up. So what if our tax dollars must go to support them. So what if this means longer waiting times at the doctors and a tremendous strain on our system. It’s that pregnant rape victim we need to control. It’s those awful gays we need to restrict. Really folks, let’s be a real country and keep supporting our illegals!

Yes, I was being sarcastic. I also feel like shit today for the usual reasons…I slept shitty and so I’m exhausted. Will write about yesterday’s trip to what turned out to be quite a park later or tomorrow. I don’t even know if I have the energy to clean or do NaNo today. Just gotta change the pigs I regret getting.

Later...

Here I am sentenced to bed rest for the millionth time after sleeping shitty, also for the millionth time. Woke up hot flashing several times and once due to traffic. I’m at the point where I realize it’s pointless to sleep with the bud because if I’m going to wake up a million times anyway just because of the stress of sleeping in the daytime in this place, what’s a few more times from traffic? I’m still going to be just as exhausted.

I was able to fall back asleep after being up for a while, but I feel almost as tired as I would have if I had not fallen back asleep. I don’t know why the additional sleep doesn’t refresh me but it doesn’t. I only know that my sleep is so fucking cursed that I don’t doubt that this is the way it’s going to be no matter where we live.

As much as I want to get out of here, it still seems like we’re trapped with no way out until he retires. I swear this only happens to us. He says it’s all because of owning a place but that’s bullshit. Tammy owns yet they’re getting out of there. We’re the only ones this has ever happened to. I just hope it isn’t too late when he retires because who knows what my health is going to be like then? Sleeping shitty two-thirds of the time can’t possibly be good for me. Again, I know I’m not going to sleep any better elsewhere since that’s just one department I’ve been seriously cursed in all my life in various ways, but whenever we move, I don’t know that I want to own anything again. When the nice couple next door dies or moves, I don’t want to be stuck for years when the motorcycle moves in. I want to be able to move easier if owning is what’s really holding us back, and I can’t deny that that is indeed a big part of it. We’ll probably only be able to get 30 or 40 grand for this place and if we lived off of that while we moved and he scrambled to get a job, by the time someone would give us a place, the money we would need for a down payment would be gone.

But again, I don’t know that I want to own because not only can you get out faster if you rent, but what if the climate does affect either one of us in a bad way? I don’t want to have to wait 5 to 10 years to get out. And since we’re going to have a lot less money when he retires, then we don’t lose hundreds or even thousands of dollars when things break like water tanks, air conditioners, and stuff like that if we rent. Lastly, we’re going to eventually get too old to keep up on things ourselves. So would owning really be a wise idea? I’m not so sure about that anymore. As long as we don’t live with our landlord, then we shouldn’t be pestered by them. The only time management can get kind of pesky is if it’s an apartment complex. But if we don’t live on-site, we should be okay. When we rented the duplex and then the house in Oregon, the management company never came to the house. They only sent the owner out to the second house when we called the office when the refrigerator crapped out.

Anyway, I want to work on my NaNo project, go for a walk, and do some cleaning, but I just don’t have the energy. I’m so tired of constant sleep issues holding me back! I’d rather be awake and bored shitless than too tired to do anything.

I’m lying in bed voice typing this entry on my phone but don’t know when I’ll get around to editing it on my laptop.

Yesterday we went to the park by our place real early but there was a guy with four huge dogs there, and while they probably wouldn’t have bothered us, I didn’t want to take a chance. So we went to Rusch Park, and wow. Playgrounds are nothing like what they were in the 60s and 70s! It was quite a park, all right. It had everything…swings, jungle gyms, a mini zip line, monkey bars, a skate park, a tennis court, a soccer (or was it a baseball?) field, and a pool.

I sat on one of the swings for a minute and it was a rather “powerful” swing. I guess the way it hung from a hinge instead of a typical hook was why it swung so easily.

I climbed on some of the jungle gyms and if it was scarily high to me, I’m surprised most kids wouldn’t find it a bit spooky, but Tom insisted it wasn’t that high and that kids would find it fun.

Took advantage of Cyber Monday and the Amazon credit we’ve accumulated and got an attachable bidet for the master toilet, but this one won’t have hot water because the pipes don’t run back there. The other toilet is by the sink so it would be possible to run out there but not the master toilet. Should still be okay, even in the winter. I just know I love them so much I don’t want this ass to ever be without one again, portable or not, cold or not.

I’m like a whole new woman down there! It’s almost like you’d never know I had such burning and itching for so long, so yeah, I was definitely over-treating myself. The bidet has helped tremendously as well because it keeps me fresh and clean and not even my groin area is irritated anymore and I don’t have “leaking” either. Maybe the leaking was just me not being able to get clean enough with just toilet paper. Not sure if my weight has anything to do with that or not, but I love how the bidet has made me feel so much better along with wearing all-cotton underwear. Real underwear and no g-strings, even though I still have a few g-strings I’ll wear from time to time because I’ll miss them. In some ways, those are more comfortable but then they’re also not.

Also ordered a pair of green eyes for the doll but it’s a nicer shade of green than my own eyes, and a combination eyeshadow/eyeliner stick to try.

A little later…

I’m a solar keyboard. Just like a solar keyboard needs light for energy, I stood in the kitchen window and let the early morning sun shine upon my face and it seemed to charge me up enough to clean one of the bathrooms.

I’ve been hot flashing more lately, which I seem to do more of when I’m tired. Would really love to stay up until five or six, but I don’t know that I can hold out that long.