I was finally able to sleep straight through, yes! The black cohosh seems to be helping with the hot flashes. I didn’t even need to sleep with the fan on. Still can’t say whether or not it’s going to help with anxiety. Last night I was definitely more depressed and anxious. I listened to some music, older and newer. I imagined us happily boarding a plane and getting the fuck out of here. Tears of happy anticipation came to my eyes so I can just imagine how I’ll be in real life when that day comes. Still no guarantees we’re going out of here by plane but that’s what my vibes and dreams have suggested. Also, the number 83 has been coming to mind lately. Will we get 83k for this house? Buy a house built in 1983 like this one? I have mixed emotions about that one. I’m tired of old crap and I really would love something from this millennium, but the older it is, the easier it would be to gut it to soundproof it.

After my music session, I traded in shitty emotions for pain, and believe me when I say I would rather take the pain! It started off with that pain in the upper right side of my stomach that I’ve had before and that I assume is due to a lack of fiber. Even though I had plenty of fiber yesterday, it didn’t stop right away. Then I had pain in the center of my chest before it returned to my side. Maybe just stress or pulled muscles? Only I hadn’t exercised in a few days and I’m naturally muscular, fat or not. My muscles don’t break down easily. I’ve got another decade or so before they start doing that.

This is the second and last day I’m skipping my medication and again, the medication as a culprit still makes sense and doesn’t make sense. How I do later on in my day is going to influence my opinion on that. I mean, it makes sense for obvious reasons but then why isn’t the anxiety consistent if it’s the medication? Why wouldn’t it happen every time I took it? Instead of going days or even weeks between anxious spells, I’ve been worse ever since January 27th when I first felt it coming on with only a few days off since then. Yet I made several skips along the way, so I don’t know what to think. I just had to do something and give it a try, but I’ll start it back up again tomorrow.

Just for kicks, I looked up items considered to bring bad luck, and right off the bat I get a broken or stopped clock. Well, right behind me in a box headed for Goodwill, is a stopped clock.

Then I get mirrors facing the bed. Well, the mirror is on the side of the bed but it’s huge. It’s the closet doors so it runs from the floor almost to the ceiling.

Then I get rocking chairs and sure enough, there’s a small old rocking chair that was left behind that’s also in my bedroom.

Unmade bed was another thing that came up and I never make my bed. Well, rarely, anyway.

Next up was green paint. Funny because the bedroom walls are mint green.

Old brooms, open umbrellas, outdated calendars, axes, hoes, taxidermy, and dying plants were also on the list, among a few other things. Well, there was an old broom that was left here, and I’ve had issues for a while with bamboo plants dying.

I don’t know if there’s any truth to this or if it’s just silly superstition, but it definitely makes me wonder when you’ve nailed nearly half a dozen no-nos all in one room, the room I spend most of my time in since my desk is in here because it’s noisier in the living room.

Desks are one of the things along with pets, electronics, and several other things they recommend keeping out of bedrooms for better sleep. They should add not sleeping just a few feet from busy streets.

Not liking this cold spell we’ve been having. We should be starting to need the AC in the afternoons, not waking up to reports of frost warnings.