Happy 42nd birthday, Aly! Kim and I miss you so much. If you’re out there somewhere in some kind of afterlife, I hope you’re having a blast. I hope you’re getting to do all the things you didn’t get to do when you were alive.

It just seems so unfair. She should be home now after working with kids which she loved. She should be checking in with me on Skype to tell me about her day and hear about mine. She should be opening the package I sent her and telling me about other cards and gifts she received. I should be hearing about the progress she’s making on her story for Camp Nano and sharing mine. Maybe even asking her opinion or advice on whatever I’m writing since she was a better writer. She should be filling me in on what’s going on with her and Cam, real or imagined. We should be laughing over some silly shit Molly tweeted while we were at it.

I know I wrote that I felt a bit hurt that Jessie hadn’t checked in more often. Well, she proved that she is still a caring friend after all because I awoke to a message from her asking how I was doing. She said she didn’t want to bug me and wake me up by messaging me, but I assured her that I not only appreciated her taking the time to check in, but the phones and computers could never wake me up because they’re not near me. Well, one phone is but I have all the sounds off.

Even Kim checked in with me and that really put a smile on my face. I really miss her. I miss all my friends. I’m talking about Nurse Kim, not Crazy Kim. I’ll email Crazy Kim later. Since Aly was a mutual friend of ours, I know she’s sad too.

I’m still having some shortness of breath, soreness and fatigue, but I’m definitely on the mend. Being able to sleep on my stomach, even if not for long, feels luxurious.

It was great to be able to go to France for 15 minutes and hit the road again. I’ve got about 1770 miles to go.

The antibiotics caused a yeast infection so now I’m treating that. One thing after another, I swear!

Later...

Warning! This entry contains some medical talk that may be a bit on the gross side for some people, so viewer discretion is definitely advised.

I wonder if I ever really had a UTI. Thank God for Tom because I had him look down there to see if he found any discoloration or raised spots I wasn't feeling and he said I had white globs down there which told me I had a yeast infection. I was so fucking frustrated. Lab results said I had no UTI yet the last UTI test strip I used was red and I was burning like crazy. My doctor recommended I go to urgent care if I didn't want to wait to get into a GYN. This was the last thing I wanted to do, of course, and that was when I thought to have Tom take a peek down there. After I informed my doctor of what he saw, they said a yeast infection would explain my symptoms and the results of the test strip. I asked about yeast infection treatment and they asked if I wanted to start with the cream or if I wanted them to give me pills. Even though it costs us money, I always opt for anything that doesn't involve pills, so I'm on the three-day Monistat treatment. They said they didn't recommend one-day treatment. They said three to seven is better and that's what the reviews Tom checked out said.

Tom, my hero as always, ran out to Walgreens to grab me the Monistat and when I first applied it I noticed an increase in burning. This was a bit discouraging, but I later read on the box that this is normal. It took several hours, but the burning finally backed off. I just hope that this time it stays that way! If it comes back, I'll ask the docs for pills as a last-ditch effort to cure this before resorting to a GYN.

Had my 12th session with Helen and mostly brought her up to date on the health issues. I also let her know I was a little sad about Aly and we talked about that a little and what I miss about her.

She also asked me what I would say to my foster mom if she was still alive.

Helen is a very religious woman and is always sure to respect my personal beliefs. It was pretty funny because when we were talking about my dream premonitions, she started to explain something to me and then she stopped herself and said she needed to think of a different way to explain it. That's when I came out and asked, “Were you going to tell me that God gave me that gift?” LOL.

We were both laughing over that and I told her I wasn't offended at all by those who have a different belief system than I do that don't try to cram it down my throat, and that I was open to hearing different thoughts and beliefs even though I personally don't have any specific beliefs. I have a lot of theories and ideas but not set beliefs.

We were also talking about how I missed certain aspects of my past. Just the way I looked at some things and the way I felt at different times. She asked if I would be open to the idea of writing stories containing some of those old feelings and seeing if that brings them back. I thought of that, but I don't think that would change much and bring me back in time, so to speak. I'm not the same person with the same life, mind, and body I had years ago. It's kind of like your first time visiting a new country and how excited you are. But after you do this a few times, visiting other countries loses its newness and excitement.