The other day I noticed that Toni was allowing friend requests for the first time since finding her online. I requested to add her and she accepted.

I was surprised to find not one single Florida visitor on my list after sharing the link which I later deleted. Maybe I should have shared when the snowbirds were here. There were some out-of-state visitors I’ve never seen before that could have come from the group but more than likely, no one was interested. That’s just not most people’s thing.

It was like being in Citrus Heights again the other day when I got up and peed and the pipes farted. Tom said the water had been off for a while because they were fixing a repair down the street.

Decided I’m going to stick with the Replens after all. Seems to be doing a good job of keeping most of the burning at bay. Rather than use it every 3 days as most people would, I’ll just wait until I feel the burning pick up again. It’ll save money that way.

I finished chapter 7 of my book. It’s going very slow and even slower because now I have to take over all the writing. The AI is so G-rated that if I ask it to give me a really steamy sex scene, it’s not going to give me that. Same with if I want a gruesomely violent crime scene.

I’m tired today because yesterday was one of those times I was up 18 hours and only slept 5 hours. I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high on the melatonin receptor since I can’t believe there’s a magic pill I could simply swallow to fix my schedule problems any more than I’ll ever believe I’m going to have normal thyroid numbers without feeling like I’m going to die. Some things just aren’t meant to be. Whether or not they’re by design or chance, I don’t know. So I hope for the best but expect the worst.

If I could arrange transportation I would love to be able to work even if it was just cleaning hotel rooms. Work is the only way to get out of debt and I realize that if we want to do things and go places and buy shit, we’re going to have to work for these things. Most people just can’t be that comfortable on retirement alone. At least he would still get what he gets when he gets a job. It isn’t a case of one or the other now that he’s full retirement age. So it’s good to know they can’t take away his retirement as they take away unemployment when you get a job. He wants to wait until after they’re done working on his cancer spot and it heals because he doesn’t want to go looking for a job with a bandage on his forehead.

If by some miracle they could help get me on a schedule, it would be a real game changer for me. Just a real life changer in general. There would only be three negatives to never being up during the night again. Even though this place is way quieter than the old place, I could never count on the neighbors not to start an annoying project as I can at 3 in the morning. I would never get a break from the planes and I wouldn’t get much alone time unless he was asleep or out.

Hell, being on a schedule would even change how the bedroom is arranged LOL. I wouldn’t need the “doghouse.” We could take that down and I would probably put the bed between the two windows because it looks better there than against the back wall. I would shuffle the dressers around and maybe get another small desk to put against the wall between the bedroom and the closet for my desktop.

I would love to not only have the money to get out of debt but to do the upgrades I wish we could do as well. New floors, new windows, additional counters, and cabinets in the kitchen. I’d also love to bust out the built-in desk to put a washer and dryer there. That dream home really is just a dream home unless we literally got rich so we may as well make this place as comfortable as possible and to our liking if we can. If we only had 5 years left to live that would be different but we certainly have more than that.

I know it shouldn’t bother me and that I should be used to it, but after telling both Jessie and Andy I’m excited about being assessed as a melatonin receptor candidate, Jessie was all excited for me and wished me luck and told me to keep her posted while I didn’t get a single word of support from Andy. That’s so, so typical too.

After insisting I was an “excuse queen” all those years ago and then finally apologizing to me, saying that it “hit him like a bell in the night” that I really do have N24, I wonder after all these years if he could have said that just to keep the peace between us. Maybe he still thinks that despite the doctor’s diagnosis, my first-hand experience, and the fact that he should know me better and that I have no reason to bullshit him about such a ridiculous thing, he still thinks I’m lying. Andy thinks everybody’s lying to him about everything.

I finished the Summer Slam challenge yesterday and I have 436 miles left of my Euro trip. Because I’m so tired I don’t know that I’ll hit the road tonight.

He has to go to his regular doctor tomorrow to discuss his lab results. Soon I’ll be going to the lab for what will no doubt be shitty TSH results. Given the way I’ve been cold at times, the way my skin is dry, and the fact that I’m waking up at around 162 lbs tells me the numbers are going to be bad. Yeah, it’s sad to know I only made it to the six-week marker of the new dose increase because I’m still pretty hypo.

The only positive is that I’ve been feeling great emotionally. Maybe Helen has been more helpful than I gave her credit for.