Last night was amazingly and surprisingly plane-free, but tonight it's back to the usual endless parade. I didn't get woken up by storms as expected, but I still slept shittier than shitty. First, air was leaking through my mouth, then I had to prop myself up due to feeling nauseous. I don't understand this persistent nausea. I've had it for days now, and it seems to be getting worse.

After 3.5 hours, I decided to sleep without the mask, knowing I was going to be exhausted anyway and not wanting to have to peel anything off my face if I had to make a run for the bathroom to puke. Even worse than I felt last night, I feel more like I’ve been kicked back to the beginning. This feels like a major setback to me, and I feel totally hopeless. Tom still feels I’ll adapt, and my body will learn to stop breathing through its mouth, but I just don't see that happening. Our bodies can't just do or learn whatever. You're talking about reflex and body anatomy here.

We agreed I would give this mask until the end of the month, but I think I'm going to have to get a hybrid. I definitely don't want a full face. The problem is finding one with a nasal pillow that’s small enough for my tiny nose (with nasal prongs). This way, I wouldn't have to worry about leaks, as I definitely don't want to sleep with tape on my mouth for the rest of my life. If I need to yawn, cough, suck in a big breath of air suddenly, or grab a few swallows of water, I want to be able to open my mouth right away.

I still say I am dreaming an impossible dream and fighting for what I'm simply not meant to have under any circumstances… decent energy and my life back. Even if we could afford other alternatives like an oral appliance or the Inspire, these would do nothing to address my nasal valve.

I've been feeling nauseous, and I'm taking these anti-nausea tablets, but they only help so much. I've been going from hot to cold as well. I don't sense this being heart-related, so hopefully, I don't have any kind of weird infection going on. Tom thinks it's that I've been eating the wrong foods without a gallbladder, but those wrong foods should be long gone by now. 

I accidentally broke one of the glasses they left here in the sink, so we got a six-pack of plastic cups. I had my choice of dark blue or lavender, and of course, I got the lavender.

I wish there was something else I could say other than feeling like shit and that yes, but other than the weather, there isn't much else to say. I didn't get thundered awake as I thought I might, but tomorrow there's a chance of that. Kind of funny how as soon as I try to fight the sleep curse, I get this persistent nausea, and we're having more rain than we normally have at this time of year. It's like I'm being punished for daring to even try to get some semblance of energy and my life back, or at least the parts that I can get at this day and age.

I don't know how much my thyroid or other things could be contributing to the fatigue, and I still can't rule out chronic fatigue either.

I'm still going to try to start off with no mouth tape just to give myself a fair chance to see if Tom could be right and I can adapt. But if I start getting woken up every few minutes and it gets to be too much and I feel I need to get some real sleep for a while, then I’ll tape my mouth. After having my sleep so broken up last time around, I napped earlier in the evening, but it didn't refresh me at all.