Poor Andy. I just checked in on him for the first time in a while, and I guess he's still being called the F word that rhymes with rag and hurt by it because it reminds him of what he went through in school in his teens. I'm sorry it hurts him, but it goes to show how different we are. He would never believe or accept this, but if somebody were to give me shit for being with women in the past or call me the K word, granted I wasn't bullied as a kid like he was, I would just laugh and be like, yeah, so? Would it really be much different than being called an asshole, bitch, retard, cunt, or cock if it's still said in anger and meant to lash out at the other person?

Unlike him, though, I have become so indifferent to what others think unless I'm close to them and care about them. Again, he would never accept this as the truth, but those who know me (or should know me) know I wouldn't have any reason to say so if it weren't the case. What would I have to gain from it? 

I think most people in general are just a lot more sensitive than I used to be and am now. I realized a long time ago that if I worry too much about what others think, especially strangers, it would really make my life harder. I understand, however, that people can't always help how they feel. The fact that a complete stranger who didn't even know him called him a f*g is still wrong, regardless of how he feels about it.

He said he later approached a Black woman in a grocery store and asked if it hurt to be called the N-word, and she said it hurt in 1972 and it would hurt in 2030 as well. That's why I get twice as pissed when Black people discriminate against gays—because they should know what it's like and therefore they should know better! He added that sometimes a stranger could make you feel better. 

It has always made him feel better to know he's not alone in how he feels. So much so that this is part of why I cut ties with him. I feel bad for him, and he will always have a special place in my heart, but I can't go back to the same cycle of toxicity either. I'm not him. I'm me.

Kind of surprised he hasn't posted a picture of himself after his weight loss. I wonder if he feels he hasn't lost enough yet to be worth sharing.

Melanie still comments on my posts from time to time.

Hmm… I still think V's silence has a lot to do with me calling her out on her selfishness. She never texted me, and I never left a comment on her entry. I was the last one to leave her a text and a comment, so now it's her turn if she wants it. I didn't unfriend her, but I unfollowed her.

Yesterday, I had good energy, although it didn't last the entire day. Today, I seem to be doing better as well. My AHI score is now under 5—yes! This is getting exciting and promising, though I’m still greatly hesitant to get my hopes up too high. Until and unless I ever go a full week with mostly good energy, I don't want to assume my fatigue issues are being resolved.

On the downside, for the first time since using the thing, I had to get up and pee. But hey, if I do that only a few times a month instead of every single time I sleep, great! Part of it was my own fault because, as I was falling asleep, I thought I felt like my bladder might be full, but I was too tired to get up and empty it.

Lastly, I was aware of air trying to desperately escape through the tape on my mouth a few times, and I also woke up just because a few times as well. I now have tape specially made to go over the mouth in the form of an X. Hopefully, this will be just as secure and more comfortable.

Becky says she's breathed through her mouth from time to time and doesn't handle full-face masks well. She said she still thinks I'll adapt through repetition. She can't even nap without the CPAP because her AHI score is 133. That's extremely severe sleep apnea! That's like an event every 30 seconds.