I am at the store once again after only sleeping 1½ hours, but that’s my fault cuz yesterday I slept all damn day.

Last night I was so fucking horny for Kacey. She was fantastic in bed. I wished I could call her up and ask if we could just have sex here and there, but it wouldn’t be purely sexual cuz we do like each other and are attracted to each other, and we wouldn’t have to spend days or even a whole night together cuz she doesn’t want commitment and neither do I. It’s gonna be years before I’m ever gonna be ready to consider another short-term relationship. I also know God would only allow me to be with someone very briefly, anyway, like 2-4 weeks and that’s ok, but I hope the next woman is my type like Kacey was and just as attractive if not more. I’ll never be with anyone. I may not have a child, but I don’t know for sure. It’s too soon to say, but if I ever do, it’ll be years from now. But I am not gonna give up my music, no matter what.

People say to me when I’m not singing well, oh, it’s only a temporary setback. Well, I have too many setbacks. Why oh why can’t I fucking quit smoking?!

Later...

I can’t believe how dead this store is. It usually is, but now it’s deader than dead. The kids are all on school vacation, therefore, I figured it would be busier, but I guess they’re all sleeping in late. It’ll pick up later, though I hope it doesn’t. I’m exhausted.

I wanna get laid so bad! To fantasize is always my favorite way so I can have it just the way I want it with someone gorgeous who accepts me and loves me for what and who I am, but since the “in” thing these days is just sex, it would be nice once in a while with someone as good in bed as Kacey was and with her personality, too. And looks too, naturally. The day I settle for someone who’s both ugly and a jerk or someone that’s right for me who’s ugly, or a beautiful asshole is the day I win the lottery. Gotta have my cake and eat it too, no matter what.

Later...

I wish 3:00 would hurry the fuck up and get here.

Steve just came in and bought $8 worth of stuff, and I forgot to give him my keys to forward my line in case that girl tries to call.

I called the Harley to see what kind of reference they’d give, and all the general manager said, whom I never knew, was that I worked there and gave the dates. He said he didn’t feel it was right to say anything more since he wasn’t there when I was there. He also said that if I, who gave a false name and business, of course, wanted any more information I had to mail him a company letter and then get my permission for a release of information.

Louis said he called there and the manager had said I was a good worker.

Later...

Why does everyone hit the store at once!?! I mean, really! As soon as someone comes to the window, someone knocks on the door, then, someone else comes to the window. Or, someone comes to the window and you get them what they want as two more people come to the window. Then you ask the first person if that’s all they want, they say yes and you go to wait on the second person, then the first person wants something else. Another thing is that as soon as the phone rings or I go to make a call or to the bathroom, someone just has to come in.

Is God testing my patience?