I just got back from therapy and I’m at the store now.

We went to the Pub Friday and Saturday night. We saw Kacey. She was dancing with Linda who called a couple of times asking questions. I told her like it is. Or like it was.

I saw Tracy too, (not Fran’s friend) and we were talking for a while. Can you believe she’s still with her lover Nancy?! That’s a long fucking time. She said she just got lucky and she too, was about to give up thinking she’d never ever get a girlfriend. Yeah, well I’m still not stupid. I know what’s destined for me and what’s not.

There were some very feminine girls there too, who were mostly straight, of course. One was both ways, though, but seemed the least bit interested in me. Another girl, who was gorgeous, was with another girl but she kept eyeing me. She was weird, though, and I don’t know if the looks she was giving me were sexual and perhaps violent, too. It looked it. Or maybe she was on something. People are weird and very confusing. Andy says she was checking me out for future reference cuz she can’t be with that girl forever which may be true, but will God let me have someone looking like that? Even if I got her she probably wouldn’t be around too long and may be a liar, thief and a druggie.

Then I met this girl, Cherrie, who’s pretty, but she and the guy she lives with, who Andy knows too, are coke addicts and they’re also into threesomes and orgies. No way could I ever dig that!

After the Pub on Saturday night, we went to Longmeadow and egged a dozen cars. When I told Martha about it and why I did it she was actually amused by it. I told her that since I behave so damn well most of the time, I felt I was entitled. Also, I get so much anger built up inside cuz of the way people are and how life is a lot of the time that I feel the need to lash out periodically. I’m tired of having to be perfect while everyone else fucks up and gets away with it. No more Ms. Nice Girl, although I’ll never do a fraction of what most people do.

It’s freezing in here. Carl’s supposed to be on his way to fix the heater.