Yesterday and part of today, I felt this constant, yucky feeling of nausea. I think most of it may be due to nerves. A part of me wishes I could snap my fingers and have it be around May 20th, then watch what happened till then on a video. Watch the things that I don’t know how they’re gonna turn out, that is.

I’m nervous about my parents’ visit. You know that could either be a nightmare or good or both.

Then there’s the doctor’s appointment and this joke of a promise Tom made me. Again, Tom reminded me yesterday that I can just write the promise off in my mind and be done with it. I can? Hell, I wish I could! If you think it’s that easy, though, think again. There are only two things about it that I can write off in my mind and that’s any possibility of him cumming those 3 days and my conceiving. Everything else about it is just a script waiting to be acted out, although it’ll be no act and no joke to me.

I got a nice message from Marla and from now on, I’ll try to remember to copy and paste any email I may get into the computer journals.

I sent Marla and her family a letter in fingerspelling. It’s mostly for Brian since he’s learning that.

I also went cruising on the web and I surfed through investigations and criminal checks. I couldn’t find much, say when I went to look into Bob’s background. There was a people-search thing, though, that’s kind of like a nationwide phonebook. This time, I looked for Shelly L throughout all of MA and CT and there weren’t any in CT, but I did find one in Easthampton MA. Of course, this isn’t to say that it’s her, but I’m gonna try calling the number sometime to see if it is or not.

Tom’s working on getting the place presentable for Mom and Dad. I told him not to slave himself over them, they’re not worth it, fuck them if they don’t like how the place looks, but he says he wants to do this, anyway. He’s mostly been tackling the backyard.

We got the pictures back, too. That was fast. We were only in a few of them. They were mostly of scenery and animals. I’ll be sending Tammy a set soon since Mom and Dad will be out here and can then see our photo albums.

Later...

I called that number and it figures that it was disconnected. I’m sure, though, that if someone had answered, it wouldn’t have been her. You never do know, though, if it’s her who really does and is still living there, but just had her phone shut off for some reason. So, I’ve got the address and I shall send her (if it’s her) a letter soon.