Oh, bullshit! How can tampons have bleach and asbestos, and cause more bleeding, and infertility in females and males?! This is what Evie’s saying, but they don’t cause me to bleed more, and my infertility (regardless as to whether or not there’s anything visibly wrong with me that a doctor could pick out) was caused by God, long before I ever began using tampons. However, I’m considering not using tampons anymore cuz of the risk of TSS syndrome and other bacterial infections you can get since tampons trap in moisture and aren’t very natural. I may as well quit while I’m still ahead and lucky enough to have escaped any problems. I still can’t believe all I’ve had for female problems are yeast infections! I’m sexually hexed, and have no rights to my reproductive system, so why hasn’t God had me have one female problem after another on top of it all? I mean, it just seems totally like something he’d do. Besides, my periods are short and light compared to most women and all I really need is liners. It’s not like I’m dancing in a G-string or like I need anything when I swim. I can swim with nothing even when I’m at my so-called fullest flow since it’s lighter than most women’s.

Later...

Tom will be home any minute with the groceries. Till then, I’ll write.

I was so frustrated and pissed off earlier trying to lay down tracks for Tom to make a few CDs for me. I was like - can I ever do anything without problems?! But after a while, I figured it out.

Haven’t heard the mouth or any music, but I saw a white Cadillac go in and out next door yesterday, and am still amazed by the overall company cut-down since they first arrived. It’s to be humid and between 106º-107º this weekend, but will that stop them from partying just outside our windows here? I doubt it. They may not party during the daylight, but why not party after sundown? I’m sure there’ll be some sort of music scene from over there, as well as lots of company. You know how it is with the subsidized houses - everyone has to go there for events. The people in the subsidized houses can’t take their parties elsewhere. Daytime is less likely for them to party, although anything can happen over there, day or night. Remember, these people don’t have a schedule. They’re up day and night! When do they sleep?

Anyway, this weekend ought to prove or disprove my latest belief, which is that I scared them into shutting up with my threats about going to the city and pushing for eviction. As we know, it’s most people’s nature to say the opposite of what they really feel. Deb may’ve said my threats and temper wouldn’t get me anywhere when in fact she knew it would, and I believe it just may have. Think about it. There’s been no white car or ranchero or noise of any kind from over there, other than a few scattered voices, horns, and car doors since I threatened eviction and maybe they do mind getting evicted. Well, it’d make sense to me that if I were trying to buy a house and was currently renting from the city, I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that and I would think about settling down if someone mentioned going to the city about me and my associates being noisy. So, right now, I think they decided not to take risks and not to bother stirring me up so they could have the house, and that’s why things have been quieter. They know we know they rent from the city. That’s all they need to know we know.

Tom’s got an abscessed tooth bothering him, but he won’t go to the dentist cuz he has a phobia of dentists. I just hope it doesn’t come down to a case of do-or-die for him. He’s had fillings done before, so it’s not like he’s never gone to a dentist before.

Got a boring Bob letter, but fortunately, I don’t get too many of those these days.

I forgot to mention all the bottles that were sadly scattered throughout some parts of the areas we checked out when we went land hunting. It was pretty disgusting. Just like city litter. Some of it was teenagers partying, but some, Tom reminded me later, was for target practice. He said he forgets I’m not from here at times, and reminded me that the more secluded you go, the more likely you are to hear gunfire. It’s perfectly legal outside the city limits to do that. There’s enough open space for it.

A guy at work who used to own land out there told Tom quite a horror story about some guy with some unruly cattle. Fortunately, though, this can’t happen to us where we’re going cuz there won’t be cattle around. You can only have so many animals per acre. This guy had more acres than we’ll ever have. Anyway, some guy with cattle let his cattle roam on some other guy’s property. As is usually the case when you ask someone to do something they should be doing anyhow, he got nowhere by asking him to keep his herd to himself. But he did get shot and he did get his house torched. It’s a damn good thing those blacks never shot me and torched our house! I mean, why not? I only asked them for a reasonable request. I only asked them politely. Anyway, isn’t that a classic Arizonan? These people just can’t handle being asked to do anything reasonable. I’d hate to try asking your average Arizonan to do something not reasonable! People are selfish everywhere and can’t be asked for simple little favors, but it seems especially so in Arizona.

Well, I’m not worried about cattle or homicidal maniacs when we move, but I am slightly worried about dogs. People are looser out in open spaces and the laws aren’t as tight. I hope to hell this won’t mean we’ll have dogs roaming around our land, but hopefully, we can put up some kind of fence a dog can’t squeeze through.

Tom got more listings of available land/houses in the mail yesterday. They were like the first batch we got - some had potential, others didn’t.

I really feel I’ll have to settle in some shape or form (Tom doesn’t mind where we go), but don’t I always? I’m just not destined to have my cake and eat it too. Perhaps no one is. The question is, though, do I want to settle on the house or the land? Tom says he doesn’t think getting a 3-bedroom/2-bath is settling. Neither do I if the rooms aren’t too small. I’d like to have 4 major clumps of space. One for the master bedroom. One for my computer. One for his computer and a small bed. And one for the animals. As Tom said, though, we’ll be able to add on if we want to.