Right now I’m sitting here doing one of my least favorite things to do; waiting on someone. But I’m waiting on the propane guy that was supposed to come this morning. Tom left the money under the tank’s cap, but I’d still like to see him get it over with. The gauge is getting really low. If not, I’ll have to stress over my schedule some more till Tom can get a different company out that’s more reliable. I hate waiting on people! It totally inconveniences me, and I wish this stupid cock would show up now so I can take my shower!

There is some good news and that’s that I was surprised to wake up at 140.8 pounds! I definitely didn’t expect to lose any more before my period. I wonder if I’m still carrying the usual 3 pounds of water I gain right before my period. I’m not even as bloated as I was yesterday, and if it wasn’t for the sore boobs, I’d never know it was on the way.

Tom’s still tired today and so I’m still worried about him. I try to tell myself that everything’s ok, but sometimes things really aren’t ok no matter how much we’d like to think otherwise. I just hope it’s nothing serious!

Hang on, buddy! I’m going to win us a house or enough money to buy one sooner or later and get some of this stress off you. I really am. Oh, yes I am!

Later…

We are now officially propaned! “This morning” turned out to be 3:30 this afternoon, but I guess the guy had a lot of tanks to fill. The guy (there were actually 2) was very nice and informative. We had 18 gallons and he gave us 43, which he claimed was a little more than $100 worth. So now we have 61 gallons. The tank can hold 130 gallons which would cost around $300.

I’m going to win enough money to stuff it full, buy the RV, plus have a grand or two in savings. Oh, yes, I am. I’m gonna! I’m really gonna.

I can’t wait till this damn election is over! I’m really getting sick – no, I’m beyond sick – of hearing about Obama, McBigot and Palin, who’s using her pregnant teen for political gain. Sure seems to be anyway. Well, I don’t care who I piss off by saying this, but having a child as a child is wrong. It’s not only a waste of youth but a waste of life as well. Period. There is so much to learn and experience in life that simply can’t be done with kids in tow, and I think it’s essential to evolve before having kids. People praise this child for “taking responsibility,” but I don’t see how this is taking responsibility. If she really wanted to be responsible, then she would have prevented herself from becoming pregnant until she was an adult and or mature enough for one. And she would’ve had kids with someone who, like most guys these days, isn’t claiming he doesn’t want kids. But she didn’t take responsibility, so therefore, the child should’ve been aborted or adopted out as far as I’m concerned, and like I said, I really don’t care who disagrees with me. We all have a right to say what we want in our own journals and it’s ok to disagree.

I just think it’s kind of sad, if not sick, to see teenagers like Jamie Lynn Spears, who no one ever heard of, become oh so famous all of a sudden because she had a kid after she was jealous of big sister getting all the attention that she felt should be hers. It seems teenage pregnancy is not only praised in some ways but seen as “taking responsibility” when they have and keep the child. Rich, poor, married or not, what kind of mother can a teenager possibly make even if they have all the support in the world and are smart and mature for their age? I just can’t imagine why someone would want to end their life so young. It may not literally be the “end” for some, especially the rich and famous, but no matter what people may like to believe, it changes everything. I don’t have to have kids of my own to know this either.

I guess it just goes to show how different some parents are. This gay-bashing bigot, Palin, is proud of her little knock-up, but my mother would’ve been ashamed of me and seen me as an embarrassment. She’d have made me get an abortion or give it up if I were too late for one. I’d have been sad and angry for a while, but in the end, I’d have thanked her for giving me back something very precious to me – my life. Even later on in life, a child would have stunted my mental and intellectual growth, put a serious financial strain on Tom and me, and come between us as well. Kids are sweet and it’s not like I dislike them, so don’t get me wrong, but kids have a way of coming between even the most solid of relationships.

I understand that some people who are against abortion see it as murder and would say that a child shouldn’t die for its parent’s mistakes, but since I don’t see it as murder (because it’s medically impossible to have any awareness during the first few months of conception when they do abortions), but I see it as not getting to have to live with their mistakes. There have already been enough people born to people who shouldn’t have kids at any age, and if we don’t start taking responsibility like some other countries have by controlling the population, we’re going to eventually run out of space!

I also understand that people are going to be people and do their own thing and that if we were all meant to be the same in the things we think, do and believe, we would be. I know I can’t expect others to be as I think they should be. They have to be themselves. I just think sex and babies should be for adults who are mature, financially set, and not into drugs/alcohol. To me, it doesn’t matter what the genders of the parents are or even if they’re married. It’s about being ready. It’s also about using protection if you’re not ready.

Like I said, no one has to agree with me, just respect the fact that this is my journal, and I ain’t about to hold back in it!

Let’s see, what else pisses me off today. Oh, yes, the fact that people still tend to read things into things that aren’t even there. Some people see racial discrimination in everything! Some leader of a statewide group of college Republicans has been forced to resign after posting racially insensitive comments saying Obama has “a pair of lips so large he could float half of Cuba to the shores of Miami.”

Where was color or race mentioned in that statement? He was talking about his lips! My God, what if a black person said that about Angelina Jolie’s lips? Could we then cry reverse discrimination? Why is it only ok to say things like this about whites? And how come we can have black pageants, black entertainment channels, but if we had a white this or a white that, it’s labeled as discriminative?! GOD, I HATE THIS TWISTED WORLD AT TIMES!!!