Ah, I really have the best of both worlds – a great hubby and a great cyber girl. I sometimes wish she was more tangible and less cyber, but cyber’s better than wondering about her as I did for 19 years.

We swapped a few messages which was so nice, and the more I get to know her, the more I admire her. We talked about our likes and dislikes and things like that. When I mentioned her being the star of my blog she said something about her 15 minutes of fame coming to an end. I read this part of her message a few times and tried to read between the lines. Is she really saying she thinks her fame will come to an end, or that she’d like it to? But then I remembered just how outspoken she is and how she doesn’t hold back. Really, she’s not afraid to tell it like it is, LOL. And she didn’t tell me to put a lid on it or anything like that. Even so, I will still be careful what I say and start keeping most of the dreams to myself. I have so damn many anyway, not that I’m complaining, LOL. I love every dirty little minute of them.

I know some people think she likes me too, but if she does, she hasn’t said anything and so I have to automatically assume she just likes me as a friend. Hey, I guess I’m just interesting at times, LOL, with my not knowing that Wally World was Walmart. Yeah, she and Tom got to laugh at that one, but that’s ok. I kinda got to laugh at her when she didn’t know what LMAO meant. :)

She cracked me up by saying she ran out of ass wipe, and hey, what’s a girl to do? Drip dry? She didn’t think so! And so she went to Wally World and said the whole town must’ve been there, LOL. Poor girl. She swears as much as I do, too.

We talked about the weather here and where she is, and it got me thinking. Not only does it suck that we probably won’t ever see each other again, but sometimes I wish some of my friends (or someone that was a little more of a friend at times) lived close by. Not just for obvious reasons like hanging out together every now and then, but so that one could be there for the other when times got rough. Had Andy, Paula, Jessie or some of my cyber friends been in Sacramento those hours we were homeless, I’m sure they’d have let us borrow a corner of their living room floor and given us something to eat. Then again, I didn’t have any cyber friends back then. This was in the fall of 2007 and I didn’t start “meeting” people online till the summer of 2008.

I teased Maliheh about being stuck with me because it would’ve been all over for us by now. Yeah, Tom went and looked and we would’ve just received our last check next week had he still not been able to get a job. Yeah, we were coming down off of tier 4. That damn number I hate so much. Then I’d have gotten a lobster and we’d have gone to a casino, gambled it off, and left it to fate. If we walked out penniless, we’d have come back and ended it since I never could make it on the streets, and he would never leave me alone to die on my own in that particular case. If I became terminally ill, that’d be different. So I wouldn’t be editing my story, my rat would have to go live with someone who may not love him enough, and once again Maliheh and I would be history had things not worked out. It’s almost scary to think about how many things could’ve gone wrong along the way that could’ve prevented us from making it. Funny, as they say, there’s a reason for everything.

And so the would-be dead woman lives on to say she really wishes at times that she didn’t have ADHD. Things are taking me so much longer than they should because I can’t stay focused and so I end up wasting time because I jump from task to task. Yeah, I live a challenging life at times. But medication is a definite no-no even if I were insured. Not with all the side effects they bring, some permanent like the tardive dyskinesia I’ve got to live with for the rest of my life that the quack shrinks didn’t tell me about until it was too late.

Maliheh’s got what I thought she said was 11 magnolias in her yard, but what are actually 11 trees with 3 being magnolias in it when I went and re-read the message, and so she has to go out raking leaves tomorrow and do some housecleaning, too. I said I was sorry I couldn’t help and that I would engage in a leaf fight with her if I could, LOL. Yeah, I’d be naughty and really get my boss going! She must have a good-sized yard for all those trees. I hope she’s in a house and not a duplex, for her sake. I told her about the nightmare we went through in the Oregon duplex. When you can’t even get any peace living next to one single old lady, where can you get it from?

Let’s see… what else? She too, hates religion and the people in the Middle East cuz of the way they treat their women. She hates how the humidity there makes her hair so curly, so out comes the straightening iron when it does. I thought she had naturally straight hair.

She usually walks briskly for 35 minutes a day except for when it’s really hot and humid, and she once worked the cornfields in the Midwest to get money for clothes for the new school year. Did she come from a poor family or something? The pictures I once saw of where she lives suggests she doesn’t have much money.

She used to love to tan by the lake but didn’t swim because she doesn’t really like the water.

I wonder if she even lived in Hawaii because she mentioned the natives hating outsiders which made it rough, whatever that meant.

Once again I can’t help but wonder about the jinx-writing thing. I’ve deliberately tried to jinx-write things into happening, like how I once had a character get rich. But it seems I can’t make life imitate art. It just happens by accident, even if “Nadirah” doesn’t quite see “Joni” the way she sees her. It’s weird, though. Just weird.

I’m so glad the boss said I could keep the prank in the story now that I’ve changed the name, year and location. Yeah, with one click I changed her name 1066 times. Changing the prank would’ve been a HUGE job since it’s so much a part of the story. As I told her, it’s reality turned bullshit.

Because she hates the cold and snow, she doesn’t miss Sunderland and Amherst, but she misses the clubs and dancing, saying the 90s had great dance music. But one thing we do agree on is that the 70s had the best music!

She mentioned chatting (I assume she means with our webcams) and this idea both excites and embarrasses me. Of course I’d love to see her and hear her voice. But then she gets to see how fat, old and ugly I look these days with my dorky little pink glasses. Can’t see shit without them, though. I’m two-toned too, LOL, since my hair is dark blond on top and light brown on the bottom. But I’m never going to be young and skinny again or have good vision, so what the hell.

Tom will have to help me set things up for chatting. Other than chatroulette.com, I’ve never done this before, and that site only allowed people to see each other, not talk to each other. You still had to type to each other. But I’m not sure exactly what it is she’s talking about, so I’ll wait till I hear back from her.

I really do love our chats, though my schedule will eventually roll forward and I’ll be asleep at the times we’ve chatted so far. Guess we’ll just have to chat at other times or wait till I’m awake at those hours again. At least our schedules won’t always clash.

Got over 30 questions on Formspring today and I still think they’re from Andy. They’re written like he would write them, though saner than usual. They were interesting, but I didn’t know how to answer some of them like what requirements does it take to be a mortician? So I just made up goofy answers.

Tom and I had loads of fun playing with the rat, who seems to love to try to lick the lotion off my legs after I apply it. He’s been biting more when he gets playful, but it’s ok because he doesn’t hurt us. If he does start getting rough we tell him to ease up and he does. He’s such a sweetie. A troublemaker, but a sweetie. He was out for hours exploring and climbing all over us.

Fortunately, there have been no more bees in here since we bombed. The rat was out at the time, and so I’m sure I had to be the only one in the world to mace a bee while trying not to step on a rat, LOL.

I’ve thought about it and decided what to do as far as Helium goes. Spending hours of work for pennies isn’t my thing. So instead of doing articles, I may do the ones Marketplace Approved Writers are eligible to do whenever they happen to have any available I can do. And that’s only if I get selected for publication with my first one. Remember, I’m up against the best of the best. If they all come and kick my ass, I’m not exactly going to feel like getting up and trying to kick theirs back.

I’m just one of those who isn’t meant to make much money. The sleep curse alone tells me that. I totally believe without a doubt that it was put on me, along with the driving phobia, to help hold me back in life. It was just a miracle that I got someone like Tom who accepts me as I am. Most relationships are so much about what you can contribute to them financially and materially. So what if you might love them as they are, be a good listener, and make the person laugh when they’re down? And so what if you might be a good housekeeper and good at supporting them emotionally? It’s all about making money these days, and hey, I love money, too. I just don’t put it above and beyond love, good health and happiness.

Well, I may not make the amount of money the average person makes, but if only I could get insured, get to a sleep clinic, have them diagnose it (wacky melatonin levels are supposed to be easy to diagnose), then get my disability benefits reinstated! It may only be a few hundred a month, but I feel I am rightfully entitled to those benefits. I know I am.

In another week or so I’ll start trying to aim my schedule for that evil 4th in case Tom and I want to go anywhere that day. Even if we don’t, I know my folks will call that day and if no one answers all day, they’ll worry. They’ll constantly be checking the news for anything about NorCal being rocked with a giant earthquake, even though we’re not on any faults.