I am so pissed off right now between Jesse, the black bitch and Molly. Molly hasn’t done much to me directly lately but she is continuing to spew such hate and anger towards Alison that I’ve gone from feeling bad for Alison to literally wanting to beat the shit out of Molly for the mean shit she’s been saying, just words or not. She still jumps back to saying she wants to be friends and is missing her oh so much, but it’s getting to be more and more “I hate Alison and hope the cancer kills her” kind of shit and to not go to her blog because she’s such a terrible person, then she posts the link to it.

What the hell’s the matter with Thoughtsthat they sit there and let her get away with this shit? She’d never have been able to say this shit on the old Kiwibox site. It’s just ridiculous! And wrong and unfair. It only deepens my own anger and hatred toward the black bitch that can have me investigated and God knows what else while this crazy little shitster carries on with her usual shit that’s gone on for years. When did I ever say I hoped the black bitch would die and post links saying to stay away from her because she’s not a good person? Molly’s just one step shy of actually making threats. My God, I hope she kills herself or that her parents wake the fuck up! I’d love for them to wake up in the middle of the night to find their darling daughter standing over their bed with a knife in hand. Would they be such protective enablers then?

She finally wrote about the day she went off on her parents and got committed for it. She said her mother could’ve had her arrested for threatening to kill her but didn’t. Oh, but they can arrest me for what’s supposed to be the same thing, right? She said her father was in her face and screaming at her while pointing his finger. It had to do with wanting to see one of the guys she’s harassed for years up in Iowa who doesn’t even want to know she exists. He then took her by the wrist and made her sit in a chair after putting her in a headlock for threatening to kill her parents and then she said she called the cops on him. “I hate living with my parents!” she screams in her blog. “I have no freedom!”

How can say she has no freedom when everything is done for her? Her shelter and food and utilities are all paid for, she doesn’t have to work, and she’s allowed to sit on her ass all day and harass people online yet she doesn’t have any freedom? WTF??? Really, just WTF?!?!

But the sad thing about it is that she could never hold a job long enough to support her own damn self. She’s just too fucked in the head.

I love how she’s complaining about colds, nose bleeds and stomach pain. Gee, I wonder why! Have I been a “nasty influence” on the black bitch too, or has God been protecting her from that, too?

Just like she needs to stop reading certain people’s blogs, I really gotta stop reading hers. It’s like her addiction rubbed off on me somehow. But why read what’s only going to be the same old, same old fucking shit until she graduates to threats?

Let me bitch about Jesse before I get to the hater. He damn near drove me batshit crazy yesterday gunning and running vehicles on and off throughout a 10-hour period, but the car is gone so maybe it’s been sold. I heard like 4 different vehicles up there yesterday (truck, ATV, motorcycle, dirt bike), except for maybe the bulldozer, and of course there was a barking spree thrown in, too. He’s really taken what country living is supposed to be all about, and I just hope and pray that Tom doesn’t get laid off and nothing happens to stop us from getting out of here this summer. Things have slowed down at work. He hasn’t even had any OT lately, though they did say something about the first week of the month being slower.

Tom said Jesse didn’t seem to be around last Thursday since the trash was still there when he got back, and from the sound of the dogs which have been barking for nearly two hours, I’d say he’s out this Thursday as well. It really pisses me off to need sound machines going just to hear myself think and to be able to concentrate on my writing. Sometimes I just want to hear nothing but the sounds of nature but he won’t let me have that much unless it’s at night. Well, as long as it’s not a night that he’s out somewhere. They say it’s going to FINALLY rain next week. That’ll keep him off some of his vehicles, especially the Harley and the dirt bike, so long as we don’t get just a drizzle.

I don’t mind taking a break from public blogging to get away from Molly if only for a year, but it makes me feel controlled by that fucking black bitch down south all over again. I’ll do what I have to do in order to protect myself from once again being wrongfully arrested, prosecuted, convicted and fucked over, but still…here I am all these years later having to once again alter my behavior because of her.

Tom says they can’t serve me because I’m not in Arizona, I don’t use an Arizona driver’s license, and it’s not something like murder, but the dream I had last night was a little scary. There weren’t pigs camped outside the door waiting to legally kidnap and haul me away, but some woman called and informed me in a snotty tone that I would be receiving a summons to appear in court. Playing dumb I asked why and she said something to the effect of my blog pissing people off. I then made some kind of reference to Tom after hanging up about the possibility of me being in deep shit depending on just how many people that may be.

Tom keeps insisting I’m just paranoid, it wasn’t a real cop, and I’ll be fine as long as I stay off the grid. I hope he’s right. No, he is right! He is right because I will not let Arizona have me once again!

Anyway, it’s frustrating wanting to watch a movie now but knowing it’s pointless since the barking in the background will only be distracting.

It’s also frustrating when I can’t make up my mind. Continue to put up with this Mac crap as it is? Get Word for Mac? Windows 7?