We finally got some rain around here, though it hasn’t been much yet and it didn’t start till Jesse’s usually indoors anyway. I did hear him running around on the ATV for a few minutes, though, as the sun was setting. Oh well. I slept most of the day anyway.

I stood out on the porch at around 4pm waiting for Tom to come down the drive and breathing in that fresh mountain air. It was raining lightly at the time and the ground was barely saturated. It’s too cold here and it’s not as pretty as Florida but it’s still so peaceful and so beautiful when there’s no barking or loud vehicles running. Country living beats city life any day!

No scary meetings at work for Tom and no nightmares for me, so that’s good.

Been showered with all kinds of comments, hugs, kisses, and pictures from Irene, LOL. I guess she realizes that yes, Nane, whom she herself warned me about, and I are really done. Totally history. I don’t mind attention from her as opposed to some of the others on Facebook like Lori. Lori’s nice but the poor girl is so damn ugly. Not sure how with it she is either, but I don’t think she’s too far out in left field. Just ugly enough to shower me with even more attention. :(

Irene doesn’t get carried away and make me feel smothered or overwhelmed in any kind of way and she’s not bad looking. She’s one of those that’s ugly but she isn’t if that makes any sense. She probably attracts more women than men. She’s overweight and has short hair, but she has a pleasant face and a great personality. She seems to be very friendly and open-minded. I had to laugh that time she said she wondered if I were in love with Nane. No, not in love, but I definitely had feelings for her. I don’t know if Irene is bi like Nane, but that’s the impression I get based on some things she’s said.

The drama queen hasn’t been around much. Have I been making her nose bleed too hard or something? Molly had all kinds of aches, pains, nosebleeds, and illnesses when she was fucking with me and my friends and really pissing me the hell off, LOL. The drama queen hasn’t done anything lately, but that anger over the past still lingers. I think it always will to a degree.

Been thinking of shutting down my Yahoo account. Tom and I have been thinking of shutting down a few of our email accounts and we’ll decide what to get rid of this weekend. I use my mail.com addy occasionally and it’s not overwhelmed with spam yet, so I’ll probably keep that even though it’s a bitch to get into. But I never use my Gmail account anymore and the Yahoo account gets spammed to hell and back every day. I just can’t get it all to hit my spam box. Like I said, I really think someone used it to sign me up for all kinds of shit. The scammers are harder to get rid of than the spammers because they keep coming at me from different email addies that just won’t get filtered out. I’ve had the Ratgirl account for 12 years, though, so I’ll have to think about it. When I go back to sweeping in about a year or so I would want to use a whole new addy for it anyway. Rather than try to struggle to remember which sites I’m already registered at and update all my Robo passcards, it’s easier to just start anew with a fresh address even if it means re-registering for everything.

All but my mail.com addy has been hacked. My Gmail, Yahoo and a Hotmail account I once had 5 years ago were all hacked. The thing is that when I reported being unable to log into my Hotmail account they never even had the decency to respond let alone help me in any way. I never heard from MSN and never got that account back. Because of it, I don’t think I would want to bother with Hotmail, and Gmail’s not good either because Google has lousy security lately for some reason. I would probably create another Yahoo account if I was going to do anything at all.

Tom said to be sure I don’t go to the sites that have been signing me up for their newsletters and sign anyone up for them myself, pointing out that while he thinks it’s probably just spam, it could also be the pigs trying to bait me.

Yeah, I know that. Believe me, the pigs are the first to come to mind when anything suspicious happens, but I agree with him in that it’s most likely spam. The whole world has this email addy, thanks to my sweeping days and all the sites that sold my main email addy and the sites that were hacked like Sony and other big-name sites.

Later...

Made another book sale which is good, but still not able to get in the mood to work on my current book. When I’m not working around the house or working out, lately I’ve been watching movies, reading books, and writing in my journal. I’ve got to get off this lazy trend I’ve been on.

I keep telling myself I should also try to make at least $5 every weekday on MT to help ward off the next “poor” spell, but I can’t seem to do that either. Is it because he makes a lot of money and because I don’t like working so long for slave wages? Probably. But I also think I pretty much figure that fate is fate. If we’re meant to suffer again we will no matter what I do to try to prevent it or make it easier. But I am helping in other ways like by not overspending. I’m not very materialistic anyway these days and I haven’t been for a few years now. I get a few things here and there but nothing extravagant like I did for about a decade until around 2008.

Gotta wonder what it is with me at times, though, when half the time I gotta push myself to write stories even when I’ve got tons of ideas, yet I just can’t stop writing in my journal. Hope I’m not overwhelming my email recipients.

I have doubts that Tom will ever be a permanent employee anywhere and I have doubts about an adult community at times, too. Oh, I still hope to rent in one someday so I’ll know for sure what it’s like. But sometimes what I think will be the case ends up not being the case at all. We came to Cali thinking we would have better lives. We were wrong. Life is certainly getting better and in some ways, it’s finally better than it was in Oregon. We don’t have to pay utilities here other than propane. Tom doesn’t lose a buck an hour for insurance he’ll never use. The taxes aren’t nearly as high here. People get paid time and a half for every day they work overtime even if they haven’t worked 40 hours yet for that week. The climate is better. The area is quieter. But look how long it took for things to get this way and there’s no saying how much longer it will last.

Your average temp job is 3-5 months according to what I just read, and temps, which are used by 90% of the companies out there, are fast becoming the norm. The temp craze isn’t just about a shaky economy but also a great way to get out of having to pay benefits as well, just as I figured was the case. Few temps become permanent these days. Some people are temps at the same place for years.

Maybe Tom should think of skipping the temp companies and look for a permanent job on his own if he wants benefits we could afford and the vacation and holiday time he deserves. Especially if he’s still a temp past March. The only problem is - where do you find a permanent job in Cali??? And when are there going to be laws to protect temps or at least a means of giving them affordable insurance and at least some vacation time, especially if the healthcare thing falls through?

Having so many things not turn out to be as I expected or at least hoped they would be is what makes me have doubts and concerns about an adult community. I know without a doubt I would never want to return to the mainstream part of the city or any kind of attached living. Apartments and condos simply aren’t me. But what if adult communities aren’t as peaceful as I’m told they are? We also don’t want to be stuck in a tiny old trailer forever either, so as Tom said, we’ll just have to really do our homework if and when the time ever comes when the opportunity to do so is there. I really hope we get to live in a real house again someday with adequate space. I miss it so much!

I also have my doubts about ever again winning up a storm like I used to, psychic or not. I was 1 of 7K entrants to win the Caribbean cruise I won in 2006. Well, I didn’t enter for it but there’s this trip on Facebook where all you have to do to be entered is “like” them, a very common way to enter sweeps. But they have over 51K likes! :( That’s why I don’t think I can ever win like I once did. From 2005-2008 not nearly as many people entered sweeps or had FB accounts and not many sweeps were run through them. The whole world enters sweeps these days! sighs But all good things do come to an end.

Saw a movie that took place on a cruise ship and made me wish we were cruising again. Especially after learning that its toughest moments were nothing compared to semi-smooth days at the extended-stay motel. Swimming in what seemed like a wave pool due to the ship’s movements was so much fun. I also want to read and write on the private veranda we had where I’m safe from bees and spiders, LOL. I miss the ocean mist blowing on my face like when it was storming and we’d kind of hang over the railing. Hell, it was even fun waving goodbye to all the people too, when we disembarked from that Fort Lauderdale port, right where “the dream people” are hinting we might one day end up. As it is I don’t think we’re gonna make the Italy trip, something I have mixed emotions about. I still hate to travel. It’s a pain in the ass and when you have a sleep disorder, can’t take your sound machine with you, and wake up to every little sound, you tend to be dragging during the daytime. They also seem pretty hateful in Italy, too. On the flip side, the language is beautiful, I know enough of it to get by, and a change if only for a week might do us good. A week would be about all I could stand anyway. I don’t know how many other entrants I beat out on this trip; I only know I won it by accident. I wanted the runner-up’s $1200 necklace to sell on eBay.

When the treadmill breaks or we sell it like maybe for a lighter move to Florida, Ft. Lauderdale or not, I want an elliptical machine for sure. They were doing that on the cruise in the movie, too. I like how it doesn’t need electricity and there is no impact on the joints. Also, I didn’t realize this but I like the handles that you sort of pull back and forth while you’re using it sort of like you’re skiing. It would help work the arms even more. Or maybe after we get moved if it looks like we’re gonna stick around a while and we have the space and the treadmill stays alive, I’ll get it anyway. Both would be nice to have for variety, but it’s way in the future unless this thing does crap out anytime soon.