Although I feel slightly anxious even though my heart’s not racing, I haven’t had any serious heart racing, now that I suspect the vitamin D had a hand in tormenting me along with the other shit I was on. Unless I need a chill pill, which I’m hoping to avoid, I’m determined not to let anything other than food and drinks pass these lips till I see my new doctor next month. It’s the only way to know if anything is going on that’s not chemically induced. Other than the Hashimoto’s and stuff we know of, I don’t think there’s anything else going on with me, but this way I can have a better idea. 

Tom still thinks my heart has been around 160 during past workouts; I just didn’t make a big deal of it back then cuz I wasn’t “scarred,” so to speak, by the levothyroxine experience. And I say it was rarely that high and it also never took forever to return to normal like it did on Wednesday. 

He has a point when he says that while the vitamin D may’ve elevated it, I then became anxious over it. I don’t doubt that. That’s why, like he said, he was able to help me get it back to normal quickly enough the second time when I was able to reach him right away. Chemicals don’t know, after all, when you’ve got someone to help talk you through it. 

Anyway, Gail and Benji are really Merle and Benji. Andy, being 4 years older than I am, was able to tell me a little bit more about these two from the 70s. As I told him, after explaining what little I remembered of them during our summer stays at the beach in Connecticut, I’m not looking to contact either of them. I just wondered who they were. 

I also couldn’t swear under oath that Merle really did abuse Benji. Maybe he was just a spoiled brat taking a tantrum and all Merle was doing that day in the bedroom of their rental was simply yelling at him. If I had to guess, though, she probably was at least smacking the kid. 

They were connected to Andy's sister. Merle actually used to be Marla’s SIL. There were two sisters, Arlene and Merle. I don’t remember the name Merle, much less why I thought her name was Gail, but the name Arlene struck me as familiar when Andy mentioned it in the VM he left me. Arlene was beautiful and blessed and she married a rich guy. Merle, on the other hand, was cursed and ugly. Andy's physical description of her was exactly what I remembered it to be except for her weight. He described her as thin, but I thought she was fat. A difference of perception perhaps? Sort of like how some wouldn’t consider me that big while others would consider me a pretty good size. 

The only other thing he told me was that Merle babysat a lot. I guess Arlene and Arthur decided they weren’t going to let a kid stop them from living, so they often pawned him off on Aunt Merle so they could run off and do things.