This month’s Amazon order: A Y-shaped ring necklace, a pink cut-shoulder shirt, boot socks, and a figurine of a brunette in a red bikini.

Also getting a more powerful air cleaner to put by the rats. It’s a 22” tower cleaner that targets bacteria and odors in ways old-fashioned air cleaners don’t.

Tom’s decided he’s had enough with the unfair OT at work and is definitely going to put his foot down. He’s a kind, easygoing guy and they’ve taken advantage of him. It’s as simple as that. They tell everyone else no more OT, but he has to work 10 and 11-hour shifts. Well, fuck that. He’s only doing what OT the others are doing. Next week they plan on 9-hour days, so that’s what he’ll do and not a minute more. If they fire him, tough shit. They haven’t given him shit for bonuses, and while he may make good money, many people make more than him without ever doing a second of OT.

Nothing against sweet Stacey, but she gets to sit in a chair and gab with people all day to the tune of at least 74K a year, from what my research says psychologists usually make, without doing any OT. Meanwhile, he barely has time to eat, piss and sleep for less than that. Seriously, they give the guy an income fit for the early millennium, then they make him spend so much time working that he ends up sleeping half the weekend away. He said he doesn’t mind doing an occasional Saturday, but no more killer shifts while everyone else gets to go home.

He can be the one to give ultimatums this time and tell them to go fuck themselves if they fire him, but seriously, this time the asses of those involved are mine, and I told him so. We walked away from everyone that screwed us in Arizona, but not here! Even so, I would still be a bit worried. Despite all the fucking foreigners, most companies are American-owned which means that he wouldn’t be able to get as much time off per year, so getting me to appointments might be an issue, and of course the pay might not be as much, since the pay here doesn’t always match the cost-of-living, and people like to cheat the guy. Young people with no experience often make more than he does. For this state, especially being older, his hourly pay should be in the 20s and not the teens. $17 is better than $10, but come on.

This is where I start to wonder if there’s something up there determined to make sure that he’s not paid fairly. We hope he’s never fired or laid off until he either retires or leaves willingly, but you know how it is for us; one long-term change/problem after another. Now that my health/emotions have been stabilized it would be just our shit luck to be set back by something like a forced job change. Do I think we’ll lose this place? Hmm… we could, but naw. Too noisy. If it was quiet and the house was newer, sure. If there’s one curse I definitely believe in, it’s the noise curse. This may not be like the NHA or Phoenix, but it’s noisy enough during the weekdays and sometimes weekends as well.

And then another thought hit me as far-fetched as it may be. What if something up there is setting the stage to get me away from Stacey by presenting us with a ticket out-of-state sooner than planned? There’s no guarantee we ever would have met even if I stayed here for the rest of my life, but there was never any question of her liking me in that way. So what if things just “happen” to come up to make sure nothing happens, even if it were just a friendship? Much like it did with Johnson when Misha was thrown in my cell. It happens all the time and I’ve said it before… all the good people or eye candy disappear or circumstances arise to make me disappear. Jane the waitress disappeared in Oregon. So did Liz the cashier. Then Randy changes routes. It can’t be a coincidence.

On the other hand, a long-distance move before he retires would not be smart at all. Even if we could get enough money from the house, we would probably be stuck in an apartment for over a year while he scrambled to find a job in Florida where the pay wasn’t that great. Then he would have to hope to stay at the job for a year in order to qualify for a home. No way. Just no fucking way. I won’t do apartments ever again, even if they were for older people. Older people can still blast music and TV and they can still have unruly company, too.

So I think a long-distance move would be too risky. Again, poverty may not scare me like it used to, but I’m not going to be stupid about it either.

Later…

Saw Alyssa’s wedding pics. Well, the two on the cover photo and profile pic. The others are no doubt private. She looked like a movie star with the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen. Hubby is just eh. Her gown wasn’t as fancy as I expected it to be, but the multi-tiered gown was fancy enough. The bridesmaids were dressed in a lovely shade of deep violet. The whole extravaganza no doubt costs much more than most people make in a year. Still don’t get where a doctor finds the time to plan and carry out such events.

Now… how many years will it take for them to get bored with each other sexually? Will they ruin/strain the relationship with kids? Honestly, Alyssa probably adores kids but seems like your typical modern career woman, so I’d guess no to the last question.

Has Stacey discussed me, too? I realized that if I could discuss her with others, she could very well discuss me with others as well. Somehow I can’t picture one of those people being her husband. I think that if she’s discussed me with others it’s in a private journal or a close friend, not that she strikes me as the kind to keep a journal. I’d say a GF or one of her sisters.

What was their response to me? I wonder. Could it be something like, “Stay away. It’s unethical no matter how much time has passed. You’re married. She’s married. Something’s wrong with you if you ever seek her out.”

Or is it more along the lines of, “Go for it. Just take it slow. Get a sense of where she’s really coming from first. Make sure she wouldn’t mention you to the wrong people. Be smart but enjoy yourself. Nothing wrong with it if it’s mutual and you both understand that friends or not, you’ll always consider your husbands #1.”

So Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream has decided to back BLM. What a shame. I think it’s sad when people support hate groups that believe only their lives matter… even when they aim loaded weapons at the police. Seriously, WTF is wrong with this world? If a white man twirls a gun at a cop and gets shot, he has it coming. If a black man does the same thing and gets shot, it’s discrimination. WTF?

I’ll stick with Häagen-Dazs.

Did some Bowflex exercises and went walking with him earlier. I gotta switch to an inner route and stay away from the perimeters. I’m just so sick of dogs outside of the park startling/annoying me with their barking. So many people are so mean to both their neighbors and their dogs by not allowing them indoors if they don’t have to. I honestly think that’s why not as many people as I expected to in the park have dogs. They just don’t want to bring them indoors. This is one of the things I hate most about western living.

I’ve been unable to remember many of my dreams lately other than quick flashes of senseless whatever. All I remember was something about showering and knowing I would be on the road all day the next day. I didn’t want to get the floor wet, but water kept leaking outside of the shower.

Then I dreamed of carrying something heavy in a bag down the street. The bag started to tear and Tom said he’d give me a ride.

Tom and I were discussing how we both need less sleep these days. I now sleep 6-8 hours. I rarely do 9-10 anymore. In the past when I used to be really tired, it was common for me to sleep 11-12 hours the next day. I can’t remember the last time I slept that long.

No matter how little or how much sleep I need, though, since I get to bed a little later each day, I’m still not going to be able to keep a schedule.