To say that this October has been much better than last October
is the understatement of the century. At this time last year, I was making my
final descent into hell as my endo fine-tuned my thyroid meds.
But is something up there trying to keep me from enjoying
walking and jogging around the park? Seriously, it really truly does seem like
it’s been one thing after another for over two years now. First it’s my
anxiety. Then I have hot flashes to worry about, and now I’ve got various aches
and pains holding me back. It’s mostly my right hip. I don’t know if it’s the
sciatic nerve as Tom suggested, arthritis, or something else. I just get tired
of one thing after another keeping me from enjoying exercising outdoors more
often. I don’t mind watching my shows while on my skier, but being outdoors in
the fresh air is always nicer. Of course the weather can be an issue, too. I
don’t want to be out running at 100° anymore than I want to at 30°.
It just seems too coincidental, though. If I had issues for a
few months or maybe even a year, that’d be one thing. But I’m really starting
to feel like something is seriously trying to choke back my outdoor exercise,
and this is coming from an agnostic who tends to lean more toward atheism.
So if there is something trying to cut my outdoor activity down,
then why? Is it protection or punishment? I can’t imagine anything trying to
protect me from anything in a gated adult community. The odds of being
abducted, robbed or raped or anything like that here is next to nil. I don’t
carry a purse and not many perverts are going to be interested in one my age.
Besides, this isn’t the place to scout for victims anyway.
So ruling the protection thing out, since criminal activity is
unlikely as is a pack of wolves or a giant grizzly bear, then am I being picked
on for some reason? If so, I can’t imagine why. Whose ass did I ever prevent
from enjoying the great outdoors?
Eh, I gotta assume – and hope – that I’ll finally stop
“happening” to have one thing after another soon enough. Can’t help but wonder…
if I vowed to quit outdoor working out altogether and just do it at home, would
I have fewer problems?
I skied for about 15 minutes and was going to do 3 rounds around
the circle to bring it to a half-hour, but sure enough, I only made one round
before it started raining. We’re in for a few days of rain this week except for
tomorrow.
Anyway, whether it’s happenstance or something determined to
keep my outdoor activity to a minimum, I’ve been doing well overall. No
anxiety. No recent earaches.
Later…
Although Pretty Little Liars is a work of fiction, “Aria” and
“Mr. Fitz” are a reminder that those forbidden relationships really do happen,
when I remember Johnson and think of Stacey, even though we didn’t actually do
anything. At least not yet anyway. I still think that after a year, it’s not
considered unethical. If that’s what I read is the case for MDers, then I would
think it would be the same for PhDers.
I wonder though… has she ever met with any other former
patients? It doesn’t matter either way. I’m just curious. After something like
27 years, it’s just hard to believe I could be the first that she’s liked in
the way she likes me.
This is strictly a guess, but if she ever planned to call me if
I didn’t call her, I’m guessing it would’ve been towards the spring or summer.
I’m still going to be her Valentine's phone call, though. :-)
Karen in Texas suggested that my metabolic issues could make me
more sensitive to pain. I mentioned it to Tom and he said it makes sense when
you really think about it. It might be why my endo asked me about joint and
muscle pain when I last saw her in May. My knees and ankles used to bother me
before I began treatment.
My hip pain is definitely fueled by activity. It doesn’t act up
just for shits and giggles. Yesterday I did 15 minutes on the skier and the
pain was minimal. After that round I made around the circle, however, it became
very stiff and sore. Makes me wonder how I managed to twirl around on stage all
night long, half-naked on heels, 25 years ago. Times really do change, LOL. All
I remember from those days are sore feet. I was sore overall after my first
day, but then my body quickly got used to it. Unless Stacey would ever like a
private little dance… my dancing shoes have long since been hung up.
Tom and I are going out walking before work but it will only be
for about 20 minutes, so that means a duck walk as opposed to an office walk,
or an RV walk, or a perimeter walk. OMG, I think a perimeter walk, which is
just over 2 miles, would damn near kill me.
Her suggestion explains why Bob and Jim can walk for a mile or
two every single day while in their late 80s. But here I am having barely
cracked my 50s and wondering what condition I’m going to be in in another 20
years. Assuming I’m even alive, that is. I still have a chance of an instant
extinction thanks to a heart attack or a stroke since that shit runs rampant in
my family. Other than asthma and allergies, I really didn’t expect to get any
additional diseases or conditions until I was over 70, but I guess one can
never know. Almost anything can hit us at any time.
I got up to pee a few hours after I crashed and I made a mental
note to remember the dreams I’d had thus far. Yet as is often the case these
days, once I woke up for good, I couldn’t remember a thing.
My incontinent little fur babies are gonna want to come out
soon, run around, play chase, play hide and seek, and mark the same damn
“territories” that have already been marked god knows how many times. Damn
right when I say the next place is only going to have carpet in the bedrooms!
If you’re a rat, then everything must be chewed on and pissed on as far as
you’re concerned.
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