My period hit me full blast, and I’m willing to bet that Aly has abandoned the account I messaged. She abandons just as many accounts as she deletes. It’s a common habit of hers. I don’t think she keeps any account for much more than a year. I don’t know what it is she thinks she’s got to keep running from, but with the way she screws people, you never know.

Anyway, it’s nice to have relief for my sore boobs and not to feel so waterlogged, but I’m sure that in just a week from now, I’ll be right back to the same shit… sore boobs and water retention from hell.

Maybe I’m not really in perimenopause after all, which would explain why Doc A told me I had good estrogen last fall. I can’t explain the hot flashes, but maybe the erratic periods that are now on schedule again were due to anxiety, and the anxiety was due to my medication. Tom doesn’t think this is the case, but I don’t know what to think anymore.

Tom said his interview went well but it would be better to explain the details in person. So I’m eager for him to come home!

It turns out that the GYN is to have surgery on the day I was going to see her on the 23rd, so they simply bumped my appointment up a day.

A part of me fears my next problem is going to be female problems or stomach problems. I’ve been having a lot of issues with gas lately, and it seems my stomach is sensitive to so many things. I looked at the various pros and cons of a variety of different foods, and it seems like everything is somehow bad for me. Fiber and protein create gas. Starches are weight gainers. Meat has cholesterol. The list of foods that cause gas is a mile long.

What happened to the days when I shit once a day and was constipated more often? Now I’m going 2-3 times a day and it’s often soft and doesn’t seem as solid as it should be. Constipation is now a rarity.

“You’re just as quick to dump people you no longer want in your life as they are to dump you and anyone else,” someone reminded me.

This is very true and I don’t deny it or make any apologies for it. I’m nowhere near as tolerant as I was 20 years ago. I admit it. Totally. I guess you just reach a point in life where you’re not willing to put up with as much shit, and you find it easier to just let the person go rather than struggle to work out conflicts.

I would never dump anyone without feeling like I had a good reason, though. I’m not going to walk away from you just because you may be wearing an ugly shirt, or cut ties with someone that loves heavy metal music. It’s all about honesty and acceptance. If you can be honest with me and you can accept me as I am without being judgmental or pushy, then there shouldn’t be a problem unless you’ve got something like a scary temper, or you’re a druggie, or I think you might be into something illegal that I could get caught up in. It’s the arrogant, liars I can’t stand. The control freaks that believe their way is the only way, and by God, you’re going to follow their example or else, that I have a problem with.

Having another day of rain, and yes, I’m sick of it because I’m sick of working out indoors. The skier’s so boring compared to walking and running outdoors. I tell you, something has been trying to keep me from enjoying the park. First with my health, now with the weather. It’s been an unusually wet and cold winter. I’ve barely been out there these last few months. Had I known the winter would be this wet I would have invested in a raincoat and rubber boots. I’m getting back out there tomorrow no matter what, though. I’m tired of it being too hot, too cold, too wet, too something. Oh, what I would give to move to Hawaii! Florida is probably going to be too wet and too humid most of the time, but I don’t think it’ll keep me indoors any more than it does here. Tomorrow I’m going to bundle up and just go. If I get wet, well, it’s only water, cold or not.