Going to the clubhouse for the arts and crafts group later on. I’ll be taking my bike down there. I think it will be a nice change of pace for one who works at home and is almost always by herself. I still don’t expect to make friends, in the traditional sense of the word, or know that I even want to because of the potential trouble they bring. I’m the way I am by choice and not because I’m some evil nose-picking monster or something. It was just one year ago that Stacey reminded me that even older, mature people with great careers can play games and jerk us around. I always knew that wasn’t her intention but still. I just don’t want any drama. So I tread carefully and lightly where others are concerned. I’m polite more than I’m friendly. I’ll say hello and I’ll stop and chat every now and then with the people around here like I did with Bob, Virginia, and Jon yesterday.

It was funny because Jon thought Tom was Ken and that I was a consultant. He used to be a financial advisor and asked if we were putting away money for retirement when I told him we may not be here all our lives. He said one of the biggest mistakes people make is not saving money for retirement.

“He has a 401,” I told him.

“You both do?” he asked

“No, he does,” I said. Then he asked if I just played on the computer all day and I said I basically did that and cleaned, not in the mood to be judged for my daring to be a jobless woman in the 21st century, not that he was necessarily giving me the impression that he was getting all judgy either.

Watched a documentary on parallel worlds. Such a fascinating concept and one that seems a lot more plausible than any kind of a God or an afterlife and especially reincarnation. What the scientists are doing to see if they can prove and identify other dimensions is really cool. While they could be just stories or delusions, if any of the stories of those who have slipped through wormholes and into other dimensions are true, then wow. Just wow. To think there could be infinite copies of ourselves with every possible outcome is pretty damn amazing. I hope they can one day prove this for sure one way or the other.

Some of my very vivid dreams definitely make me wonder at times. I couldn’t conjure up such detailed images so quickly when I’m awake if I tried. And the way some of them seem so familiar…

Going to do some cleaning and editing before I take off for the clubhouse, but first, last night’s dreams were a mix of good and bad. I was talking on the phone with some guy from a prize company for a sweepstake I had entered. The guy told me that they used to give out prizes of $7000, but due to budget cuts, it was now $2500.

“So I won $2500?” I asked excitedly.

“Yes,” he told me.

Then I was in a private school like Valleyhead, even if it looked nothing like it once did and I didn’t seem to recognize or know anyone there. I was huge in the dream. Like really huge. In reality, I’m just a little overweight, but I was definitely obese in this dream and very upset about it, too. When my mother came to visit me in the cafeteria, I could tell right away that she was upset with me. I’m not sure if it was about my weight but she told me some things the nurse had told her which was a breach of confidentiality.

Pissed as hell, I rose from the chair and slipped on my backpack. The very one I’ll be taking to the clubhouse with its colorful aqua and lavender flowers. I went in search of this nurse and entered a large room where several people were milling about. I said, “Who’s the nurse that told my mother things I told her in private?”

“I am,” said what appeared to be a young nurse with light brown hair tied back in a ponytail.

I wasted no time throwing a punch at her. She didn’t so much as flinch and it was like she couldn’t feel a thing. But even though it seemed like I was punching the air, I threw half a dozen more punches at her before I chewed her out for discussing confidential matters. Then I started to walk away, surprised no one had run to restrain me for what should have been a brutal attack on this “airy” woman. Instead, she served me a plate of delicious cookies, LOL.

So much for the arts and crafts group. I chose to walk down to the clubhouse on foot rather than take the bike because my backpack was a little bulky. Furthermore, I should have gotten a child’s backpack because the thing slips off my shoulder no matter how much I tighten the straps. It’s still so adorable, though. I’m sure it will get plenty of use somewhere, sometime.

Anyway, I got to the clubhouse and it was completely deserted. I was even a few minutes later than the group was supposed to start, according to the monthly activity calendar. The last time I went early and someone was already there.

Something trying to remind me that making new friends isn’t worth the potential trouble they may cause? shrugs Oh well. It wasn’t a total loss. I got some sunshine, fresh air and exercise, and no one stopped to ask me if I was old enough to live here along the way, LOL. My next-door neighbors are old enough to be my grandparents.

I waved to Bob along the way who was pruning some bushes, and stopped to chat with Jon for a few minutes. I complimented the (wonderfully quiet) progress he’s been making with the new retaining wall. He said it’s been going slow because a couple of buddies stopped to entice him into a coffee break.

I asked if they moved from another retirement community or just a regular neighborhood. They moved from a regular neighborhood and they too, had problems with nonstop barking dogs that they couldn’t do anything about. I think you would be hard-pressed to find a place in the mainstream, especially in the West, where you didn’t hear barking regularly. People just don’t care and neither does the law. They’re too busy enforcing piddly bullshit most of the time to bother.

In other news, my hair looks as frizzy and fried as it did before it was cut, I have a zit on the edge of my lip, and I’m 99% anxiety-free.