Feeling kind of bad for Aly who has had more health issues than anyone deserves, especially her and especially for one who is still relatively young. It makes me realize even more that the extra weight I carry, even if it’s not much for my age, is a sign that I’m healthy. The extra weight and my muscle makes it hard for me to jump and things like that, but is actually much better than being too thin. I’m sure Aly has a great range of mobility compared to me, even though flexibility isn’t just about one’s weight, but looking and feeling sickly can be worse than having a little extra meat, so seeing her suffer in the way she’s suffering makes me feel bad for her and see the good in what I’ve got. If I were like Kim that would be different as that’s way too extreme. But a little cushy or not, I definitely look and feel healthy. Just tired and anxious at times. November turned out to be a good month anxiety-wise as I only had one anxious day. Still have another day left this month to go, though.

There really is no getting around that age-old golden rule of burning more than you take in to lose weight, but as long as I’m healthy and therefore with a decent appetite, I still can’t see myself either burning it through working out practically all day long or by mega-low calories which again, couldn’t be done just to lose the weight but also to keep it off, so it would have to be a complete lifestyle change. No thanks! I would rather just be sensible, so to speak, and eat healthy most of the time and keep active as well. That’s good enough for me except that my hip has decided no more activity for me today.

He and I went out walking and I did some jogging which evolved into all-out running, and ouch! Not so sure it’s an injury that never heals anymore so much as arthritis, but I can’t say for sure. Because I’m on nights half the time, it’s still good for me to get out when I can to get some sunlight. I just have to try to keep from running as much as it’s hard to resist when I’m going downhill.

Yesterday I was very active. Did a 15-minute walk and 44-minute aerobics video.

LMAO! Tom just started sneezing which got Rockefeller screaming. Of course the picky, ungrateful bastards are ignoring their vitamin C tablets. Oh well. It’s their health. Rockefeller has always been fine. It’s just Blitz that’s questionable but maybe it isn’t about a lack of vitamin C but something else instead. He doesn’t always limp anyway.

I may have been active before my hip got to me but I’m being a naughty girl food-wise as I usually am once a week. I would go crazy if I could never take a day off and treat myself which is exactly what would be the case if I were to take any of the extreme measures to lose weight. I would still rather wait until I’m old and dying, LOL. So while I did get a small box of chocolate-covered cherries, I didn’t want to overdo the sugary treats, so I got a tin of popcorn with three different flavors… caramel, cheddar and butter. The tin has a cute puppy design on it and even though it has a wintry background it’s so cute and I might save it.

We also indulged in DiGiorno pizza and while he absolutely loved it, I think it’s overpriced crap. The stuffed crust was okay but the pizza itself wasn’t the least bit crispy like I like it. It was almost soggy and fell apart in my hands.

Since I’ve been dreaming of Aly more often lately, I wonder if will be meeting next year after all. It’s usually just her and I talking and sometimes Tom as well. It also doesn’t seem to be at her house but at a restaurant which does make sense when you consider Cam has to sleep during the day. If we did end up driving we would never have to go to her house. We could meet at a hotel or restaurant.

It’s still a toss of a coin at this point as to whether or not we’re going to drive or fly. It’s all going to depend on money and I can assure you that I’m going to be delighted and disappointed no matter which one happens, LOL. We’ll just have to wait and see what our money is like then and what we can get for this place. If we fly, I really REALLY hope she can eventually make it down to us in Florida whether she flies or drives by herself or with someone else!

IDK, the flying dream left me with one of “those” feelings that the Aly dreams didn’t.

Peace from the planes at night is now a thing of the past. Figured they would steal the nights anytime now. So now I have to listen to the fuckers until midnight. When they really get to me, I want to lash out at them on Twitter but they’ll never read it, and if they ever did start reading their mentions, they still won’t give a shit about anybody but themselves.

I tried to go live on Twitter but whenever I would play back the video, it cut off some of what I was saying. Same with when I tried to do regular videos.

I checked my schedule program to get a sense of where my schedule is going to line up for my March and April appointments, and my ENT and PCP look good. The dentist is iffy, though.

Tom is treating me to a couple of sets of nail stickers for my upcoming birthday, including striping stickers to decorate some of them with, and blueberry-vanilla K-Cups! :-)

Got 4 perfume samples in the mail yesterday.

I was looking at striping stickers for nails on Amazon that I think I’ll grab whenever we do another order. It would be a great way to jazz up the dull colors that some of these sets include. They’re mostly metallics in different colors.

I’ve had a night to sleep on it and I still feel like I’m making the right decision by eating when I’m hungry and not depriving my body of the variety it needs. On Atkins, you can only have the same damn 4 foods…fruit, veggies, meat and eggs. I love that stuff but once or twice a week I want to add a little sugar or maybe have some pizza or indulge in creamy pasta like chicken noodle casserole or turkey tetrazzini. I don’t want to keep eating the same foods day in and day out. And again, even if I was suddenly 120 pounds at the snap of my fingers, I would still have to continue eating those 4 foods every day for life to maintain it.

But the reality is that this will only drop me a few pounds. Not worth the deprivation. Part of loving and accepting myself is letting my body do what it naturally feels it needs to do. If I eat right most days and keep active yet gain some weight, then it was just meant to be, and my body felt it needed it. Becoming obese doesn’t automatically mean I’m going to be unhealthy though I do kind of worry about how I’ll get around since it’s going to dampen my mobility even more, but millions of obese/morbidly obese people survive, so I will too.

Just a little hesitant to start before my last appointment with my Cali doctors but we’ve got a Walmart delivery coming tomorrow with more variety for me. I miss having snacks between meals too, and it’s hard to bring myself to snack on veggies when I have them with every single fucking meal. So I got some gluten-free ice cream that’s keto-friendly and some popcorn.

I vaguely remember visiting Aly in my dreams, although it wasn’t her house but her parents’ instead. It was a 3-story house that was tall and skinny with walls made of stone. There were these trees that extended up and over it and I thought, Wow, those are really tall trees!

Yesterday I did my nails with beautiful silver-to-black gradient stickers, but they weren’t sticky enough and fell off. I replaced them with a better brand and now they’re light pink.

Then an idea came to me on how to make the shitty brand stickier. If I use my tea tree base coat, that would make my nail surface smoother and maybe the strips would stick easier. I wouldn’t have to damage my nails with polish remover to remove it either since it could just flake off and not be visible since it’s clear. However, I find that pulling nail stickers off of the polish that’s underneath it can remove enough of it.

Decided that once we move, I’m going to let myself gain whatever weight my body feels it needs to gain by eating a comfortable calorie amount and a comfortable amount of variety. I know it sounds funny but I’m tired of trying to hold back the tide here. It’s just too much work. Depriving myself of calories and variety day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, just isn’t worth it. I don’t know how much I’ll gain and I know that it would be putting my health at risk to a degree, but I’ll still eat healthy most of the time and I’ll still be active most days because I’m too restless not to be. I’ve thought it through and told myself to be sure I’m ready to do this because once I climb up the scale, I’m not going to be able to get back down. But yes. It’s time. I’m ready. I’m tired of constantly having to hold back in so many ways, plus I’m never going to have a normal thyroid/metabolism.

It takes a certain amount of calories to maintain certain weights so since I don’t plan to keep increasing my calorie intake indefinitely, I don’t think I would gain weight all my life and end up 1000 pounds overweight. I hope I won’t even hit 200 but I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. I just know I can’t keep going the way I have for another 20-something years. It isn’t that I would eat much more quantity-wise than I already do but I would have more variety more often and some of those foods aren’t great for weight.

I figured that when we move would be a good time to do it because we’re going to be getting new clothes in Florida anyway and I figure a new doctor can’t be alarmed over all this sudden weight gain if it’s already there. But if I went from 155 to 180 with this doctor, she could really get on me about it and I really hate being nagged about things I have little to no control over. Not saying my weight would go to 180 but I suppose it could.

Again, I know this wouldn’t help my blood pressure or cholesterol and that I would lose even more flexibility and be at risk of diabetes but always having to choke back this and avoid that really drives a person crazy after a while.

The statins sometimes give me an upset stomach. I still feel queasy now. Last night, when I felt nauseous after taking my pill, I ate a couple of the pigs’ grape tomatoes and that helped settle it a little bit. This worries me, though, for when they increase my dose. Tom read that it’s a minor side effect that’s nothing serious. I just have to make sure I don’t take it on an empty stomach.

I just can’t fucking escape side effects, can I? Oh well. It’s better than some other side effects I’ve had and could have from statins.

Funny how Aly tweets on her “secret” account that she hates the word “normal” because it’s so dismissive and generic, yet she uses it in a tweet to me.

Returned from a chilly yet sunny and windy walk this morning. Yesterday the planes were absolutely horrible. It was one after another after another after another… Today, however, it’s been nearly dead quiet except for the freeway. I don’t mind the buzz of the freeway as long as motorcycles stay out of the picture. I realize that if the land were as flat as Florida, we wouldn’t hear much of the freeway. Maybe a little bit if we went outside but that’s about it. But because it’s uphill, the sound can just go straight through.

The Twenties aren’t home, and no one has arrived next door or across the street. At least not yet. I’m just enjoying the peace while it lasts because I know that it isn’t every day that I’m going to be able to hear just one commercial plane and a couple of small planes and that’s it, although the day is still young. Who knows what I’ll be in for later on?

So yesterday I got a sleep score of 87 and was tired although I did perk up later in the day which I don’t usually do these days so that was nice. Today I got a sleep score of 86 and I feel great, so I don’t know if I’ll bother checking sleep scores anymore since they’re so meaningless. I could swear I heard a thump at 7:30, though, which was probably someone crashing into the speed bump, but I was getting up at that time anyway.

It was great sleeping with premium Nature Sounds last night! The $1.60 a month it costs is totally worth it. I can play two sounds at once which gives me a wider range of frequencies to help block out noise whenever I’m sleeping in the daytime. Higher-pitched sounds for the microwave beeping or something like that and lower-pitched sounds for loud vehicles. Motorcycles and other ferociously loud vehicles would still override it because we’re still very close to the street. So there’s no getting around that much. But still, I might be able to do away with the stereo altogether.

Another benefit that I accidentally discovered is that if I have chirping birds playing, my speech-to-text doesn’t click off and deactivate the document I’m working on because it thinks I’m about to say something.

Here’s where I’m glad there’s no such thing as “white privilege.” Tom has put in applications every single week and they look at them yet never call. Why? Well, his extensive work history is a good indication that he’s getting old, and his name provides enough of a clue as to his color. This would normally piss me off but because of the virus, I’m kind of glad. At the same time, he can’t stay out of work forever. If worse comes to worst, he’ll grab a job at Amazon. They take everybody all the time.

I was randomly reading around the net as I was unwinding yesterday, and it seems you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t as far as what you have for calories goes. It says 1200 calories a day is usually bad for most adults, including small women unless you only do it temporarily because it messes with your metabolism. It can also lead to other health problems.

But then if you eat more, you’re at risk of weight gain which can cause its own host of health issues. So it’s like you’re screwed either way and you might as well just eat when you’re hungry, LOL. I’ve never been a pleasure eater or a stress eater. If I’m really nervous or depressed, I can’t eat much. I almost always only eat when my body feels the urge to eat. As I was telling a friend, the standard 2000 calories a day is too much for me. 1500 is about right although some days I do go a little under or a little over.

I’ve gone up a pound recently (156 is my new low) and I’m also aware of the fact that our metabolism continues to slow about a percent each year until we’re 65, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I one day peaked 10-15 pounds higher than I am right now before I start coming back down due to a combination of the muscle and bone loss you get with age, loss of appetite, and God forbid whatever diseases or illnesses I may have in my final months or years of life.

I can’t believe how many people are dumb enough to fly despite the increase in virus cases. It was one plane after another this morning as usual. Really hoping to get a break from that tomorrow with it being Thanksgiving! Along with landscaping and projects, of course. The only annoyance around here tomorrow should be vehicle-related. I’m sure there’ll be some motorcycles too.

Here we go again with the random fatigue. I just don’t understand why I have these days. As Tom says, he still feels like he felt in his twenties. He doesn’t sleep that great these days yet he still has plenty of energy. With me, it’s hit or miss. I’m either going to have the energy to function or I’m going to be too tired to do much other than what I need to do.

One problem with sleeping with Alexa’s nature sounds at night is the gap at the end which I sometimes wake up to as it loops. There’s a skill I enabled where tracks run for 10 hours and you can even mix two sounds at once but that’s a premium feature. I may try the free trial later.

Fitbit sleep scores are definitely meaningless because yesterday I got the lowest score ever of 81 yet had plenty of energy. I was super active yesterday. I went on a long walk and we wallpapered the closet which came out great and was simple enough to do. In fact, we’re thinking of papering the kitchen but probably won’t bother with the laundry room. In there, we’ll just touch up the paint where it’s needed. The only hard part about doing the closet was that since it’s smaller than a phone booth, he was pretty cramped in there. He thinks it would be easier to do the living room than that little closet.

Today I got a sleep score of 87 and I’m so exhausted it’s almost debilitating. I still don’t understand it, as I said. Something’s got to be causing it, but what??? He’s older than me, he sleeps just as shitty, yet he’s never this fatigued.

I read that it takes an average of 77 days to sell a house in California. Not sure if that applies to manufactured homes but they say about 42 days to get an offer and then another 35 to close everything. So if it went up around the first of March, we could be looking at getting out of here as early as mid-May, but June or July is more likely.

Christiane shared another video with me through Messenger yesterday. Some political rally in Germany. But then when I asked her how she was and said I was doing well even though my little rat is dying, I got nothing.

I’m so glad I discovered the joy of cooking and how fun it can be, and healthy too, even if I miss things I shouldn’t have at times like potatoes and rice.

Yesterday I had salmon and a mix of veggies (zucchini, peppers, mushrooms) for my first meal, and for my second meal, I had cod with sauteed spinach and diced onion.

My diet is seriously lacking in fiber, so Fitbit is telling me, so I added some beans to the grocery list. I can’t stick to not going over 20 carbs because then I really limit myself from foods my body needs. Beans are still better than potatoes, rice, bread and pasta. If I have between 100 and 150 carbs a day, that’s not too bad.

Tom has always been one who rarely gets hungry but gets cravings instead. However, he said he’s noticed more hunger ever since his blood sugar dipped really low.

I don’t know why my Google Docs aren’t updating to the latest version on my phone, so I guess I’ll have to draft this entry up on my desktop and put up with their fucked up speech to text. Oh, it works great other than taking it upon itself to censor my swears but I hate how it deactivates the document when it stops. I wish it would keep running until I stop it.

I really appreciate the virtual hug from Aly since I discovered Fuzzy has a tumor yesterday. Yeah, my little ratty only has a few months left if even that. I suspected it a couple of days ago but wasn’t sure. It’s on the back of his neck. It’s fast-growing and now very obvious. Very typical for a 2-year-old rat too, as sad as it is. His birthday is on the 27th and he’s at the end of his lifespan.

I also appreciate how she remembered I’m on statins now and asked how that’s going. It’s going great so far! Still think it’s not going to be enough, though. I think I’m going to need my dose doubled to 20 milligrams at some point.

Anyway, it’s cold and the planes are annoying as usual. I saw a headline about people flying for the holidays despite the warnings. And guess who’s got to listen to the defiance? Yeah, well, someday. Someday we’ll get away from this shit. It may not be quiet, but it will definitely be quieter when we’re out of a flight path and off a busy street. Damn, though. How I would love to live in Miami with its perfect weather year-round! But it’s too crowded, too expensive, and too diverse. Diversity is fine when I’m out in public, but I would prefer to live with my own kind.

I’m glad to know my furry little friend doesn’t appear to be suffering. Fortunately, they remain active until their final few days. I don’t expect him to live past April. :-(

We went to Rite-Aid yesterday where he grabbed some snacks and I grabbed some wine. Afterward, I went for a half-hour walk. It was chilly but nice. Of course, I ran into four different landscaping games going on along the way, and two planes flew overhead. No annoying mutts, though, and not as much traffic as I expected. I’m probably going to go out walking around the same time this morning.

At least on Thanksgiving, there shouldn’t be any projects or landscaping. Just a bunch of vehicle doors slamming.

It’s continued to be desert-dry here. Temps have been the same for a while now. It gets in the low sixties in the afternoon and the high thirties at night.

Going to be hitting the shower soon. It’s so wonderful to take a shower with decent water pressure and that functions the way it should! There was just a slight drip after his shower yesterday that he fixed easily enough before re-patching the wall where he cut it out. I guess today we’ll wallpaper the closet.

So I won NaNoWriMo but didn’t. Because I opted not to associate this project with a NaNo event so I could lower my word count, it didn’t recognize it as a win once I hit 10K words.

I’ve made amazing progress with this story and find it surprisingly fun to write, too. I’m not only turning reality into bullshit but I’m even twisting the reality. I’ve got a lot more work to do on it and it will probably end up being a much longer story than expected. At least 50K words. Although it is a story in the traditional sense, I’m kind of writing scenes that occur in no particular order, although mostly in order because it’s easier to tell the story that way, if that makes any sense.

I can’t believe the new house that was brought in is still sitting there, still waiting to be set up, still unoccupied. The neighbors must love it though.

I’ve got to watch those codes when I use the image hosting site I’ve been using for PB pics. The fuckers are embedding spam into it so there’s a link to various stores online that shouldn’t be there.

I switched out my email address on PB for a bogus one. I don’t know about LiveJournal but Blogger sends warnings if an unrecognized browser tries to log into my blog there, and I can monitor IP logins on MD. But if anyone out there happened to know my email address, they could hack my PB account without me knowing (unless they changed anything noticeable), but not anymore. Now, if they happen to have password-cracking software, it’s worthless to them unless they can figure out the fake email address.

There are other ways, though, like clicking on spyware, but as far as I know, I have nothing like that running on my PC.

What surprised me was that Aly said that if you know a person’s IP address you can hack in through that. If that’s true, wow! I didn’t know that. So much for thinking knowing an IP address was worthless other than to maybe find out where they are.

I realize she’s smart enough to have slipped me a link that would record all my keystrokes and login info to any account I use if she were that curious but if she has, she’s at least had the decency not to fuck with anything that I know of.

And we have success! The shower pipes have been replaced and the new faucet is beautiful and so much easier to use than the old piece of shit we had. Now it doesn’t take forever to adjust the temperature, it doesn’t take 10 turns of the knob to get the hot water on full blast, and it isn’t hard to turn off.

As soon as we’re sure it’s not leaking, we’ll wallpaper the closet. The wallpaper looks much nicer in person. It’s almost metallic-looking. It’s a silvery-gray. Nothing I would get for a place we were staying in but still nice for a closet. As I said, it will brighten up the dark space nicely so things are easier to see.

Using a combination of templates he printed and tape which I placed on one of my nails and traced it with (there’s always at least one nail strip that’s too big for me), I did my nails this morning and they came out nicely. Solid yellow, solid green, and yellow with green and white stripes. The solid olive green ones are so dull so I’m grateful for glitter. I reinforced the solid colors with Ice Queen and the plaid ones with Northern Lights.

The last nail pack I got had the number of sets it was supposed to have but three of the designs were swapped out for other designs, two of which were duplicates. It’s still a beautiful set, though.

Aly’s being cryptic again. Not so much the other day when she bitched about the fact that while she didn’t want to see people suffer, it was hard for her to care as much when her own suffering was dismissed as I knew right away she was likely talking about Molly. Molly’s just selfish like that and always has her own suffering going on, mostly self-made. She even hashtagged it with CrypticTweet.

Today it was to fuck off with your judgmental self and that just because you have something to say doesn’t mean you should say it, and that she has all kinds of things she could say that she keeps to herself.

Her status update on Skype was “Here we go again” with a frowning emoji.

A fight with Cam? With her mother?

Does she want to be cryptic and does she want people to ask and prompt her about what’s up? I fucking hate that shit! Just say what’s on your mind or don’t!

Woke up tired today and found I had a sleep score of 87. Again, that may be good for most people but anything under 88 and I’m usually tired. I think I’ll take the day off from working out. I was going to go out walking this morning but with temperatures in the forties? No thanks.

Tom has been having trouble sleeping lately and he keeps waking up and he wonders if it’s because he’s been focused too much on his physical health by working out a lot but not working his brain hard enough. So he’s getting back into coding and things like that which requires a lot of thinking.

We picked out a light but neutral-colored peel-and-stick wallpaper for the hall closet. He sawed open part of the wall yesterday in preparation for today’s shower valve replacement. There’s a whole section of pipe that needs to be replaced.

I also grabbed a couple of sets of nail stickers while he was at it and he got himself a keyboard tray so he can shelve his keyboard under his desk when he wants to use the surface for writing or whatever.

One of the nails is by Maitys and comes in a rainbow of solid glitter colors, all of which I like. Even the orange is nice. Except for gold, silver, white and black which is fine, there are no boring earth tones. Mostly pink, purple, green, yellow, red and blue.

Both sets have 16 sets of nails and the second set is by Wokoto, another good brand. This one has mostly shades of yellow, green and purple. That one is arriving today.

The more we checked out self-adhesive wallpaper, the more we liked what we saw and the more I can’t wait to get into wherever we’re going to end up so I can have fun picking out different designs for different rooms. It’s not much cheaper than paint but it sure as hell is a lot more convenient and less messy. Actually, it may be considerably cheaper after you factor in paintbrushes, tape, and the usual supplies you need for painting. I think this would be a great way to do the walls much faster and easier and it would be great not to have to worry about getting paint on things.

The cool thing about this is that you can use it anywhere. You can line shelves with it, you can decorate light plates, furniture…whatever you want. I was thinking that our future house might look great if I picked out two designs per room and had one or two walls with one design and the rest with the other. I would just try to make sure they were designs that went well together, of course. The pink sequined wallpaper is going to be very tempting when the time comes!

We just wish we’d known about this stuff when we first moved in here because it’s ideal for paneling. When we pull the strips off to paint, we have to fill in the gaps, but you wouldn’t need to do that with this stuff. I wouldn’t just like it for the rooms but also for brightening up the dark paneling in the closets which would make the stuff stand out better. I hate dark closets.

Yesterday I indulged in a nice nap for over an hour until the loud paper delivery car woke me up after 4 AM. Yeah, because one shouldn’t be able to nap at 4 in the fucking morning in their own home without noise disturbances. Yes, that was said with a mix of sarcasm, frustration and even anger. One also should have to breathe a huge sigh of relief that they hadn’t yet fallen asleep before a thunderously loud motorcycle zoomed by loud and clear even over a blasting sound machine, right?

Last night I did a 56-minute workout video but no walking. Tonight I did a 23-minute vid and will add some bursts of walking.

Walmart gave us another goodie bag that helps make up for their fuck-ups like how two of his single servings of Pringles potato chips were missing from the pack. I asked if he thought the driver stole them but he thinks they just grabbed one with a couple missing and didn’t notice. I suppose this is possible since I went to grab a case of wine before he noticed that one bottle was missing.

The goodie bag was similar to the last one. A couple of snack bars that were fruity and nutty, another pack of Unstoppables, the same toothpaste sample, and the same two Starbucks K-Cups.

Got some salmon fillets for the first time and OMG, they came out great! I pan-fried them with light olive oil and some frozen mushroom slices. I sprayed everything with butter spray, too.

I only remember one dream from last night. I was standing outside in the evening talking to a couple with three kids who were on their way to a restaurant. I don’t know if I knew Tom or not, but they were neighbors that were going to be moving soon and I was kind of disappointed because they have been good neighbors. The couple was very easygoing.

The woman was saying something about throwing something up into the sky that would glow like a miniature moon.

Then they invited me to accompany them to the restaurant they were going to. I glanced at the kids as they were being loaded into the back of their van and hoped they wouldn’t be too loud and annoying as I agreed to join them.

At the restaurant, the husband excused himself to use the bathroom or something and the woman asked me what I did. I said I did a number of different things online and then she showed me a small notebook with all different kinds of handwriting that one of her kids did.

Then I glanced at the kids across the table and at the other end of it and realized they hadn’t said a single word the entire time. There was one girl and two boys that ranged from around age 8 to 12. The girl looked at me and I thought she had beautiful big brown eyes. They were made up nicely and looked very adult-like which I thought was a bit strange since she was so young.

Over 2K deaths yesterday. So much for thinking hitting 2K was a thing of the past.

Aly tweets that she’s under so much stress that she’s considering making things easier for herself though probably not for others by leaving Skype and Twitter and making Fitbit her only form of social media but would still do email and text because that just “feels right.”

Is this where I get dumped or at least slowly phased out of her life?

My weight’s gone up a pound. Not sure I can get it back down. sighs I guess it’s just my time to make a jump and that no, I won’t stay in the 150s all my life. Not quite in the 160s yet but close.

1964 people died yesterday from the virus?! Damn! Haven’t seen it that high since last spring.

Not at all impressed with Twitter’s new “fleets” which are similar to Facebook’s stories. I would really prefer access to the voice tweet feature instead. That’s supposedly coming to Android next year, but I don’t believe anything until I see it.

Every month I would copy tweets to PB and Blogger but I’m going to stop doing that. That was basically for a quick reference and the main highlights of my life but if I want to look something up, it would actually be easier to look it up in my journal.

Yesterday I felt a touch of anxiety and I started to go through the usual routine of telling myself that if I took my meds and felt anxious tomorrow I would skip the next day but then I said, NO! I’m going to jump on it before I can get to that point and skip today. There’s no hoping it will magically get better on its own. The only way to bring it down is to lower the level in my bloodstream.

I’m feeling great so far today and did a half-hour video. This one really worked my arms! Still going to do some walking and work on my core, too. I do my abs on the Bowflex bench and backflies on the end of the couch that doesn’t have a back to it. Then I walk in 5-minute segments here and there.

I hear somebody whining for me now out in the living room. Hey, if I can’t have quiet neighbors/neighborhoods, why should I have quiet pets? LOL, but I do actually like the sound of guinea pigs. I’ll take a break for a minute so we can all share the last banana.

Okay, that’s two happy pigs and one happy rat. It’s good that I don’t eat a whole banana because then it can mess up my stomach.

Did my nails earlier not so much because they needed to be done but because I just wanted to do them. This time it’s black to navy with shades of blue in the shapes of overlapping triangles for accent nails.

I had a bunch of dreams last night. We were in a hotel in one of them and I’m wondering if it might have been Florida because we had a door or window cracked despite the humidity. It didn’t seem to bother me, though, and I commented to him that it was simply what I’d grown up with.

Then I was inspecting my teeth in a mirror and was worried they would be all yellow and that I misunderstood this thing that I bought where instead of whitening teeth it was supposed to change them to a different color. There had been other color options, but I grabbed the yellow one thinking it was for whitening.

There was also something wrong with one of my teeth and I resolved to address it with my ENT who I was referring to as Dr. Mitchell for some reason.

Then we were in the kitchen of this house where Tom was cooking up enough rice and beans to feed an army even though he doesn’t eat rice. Then he seemed to have some pain although I’m not sure where since he didn’t say anything. Instead, he just started poking various parts of his body as if trying to figure out what was wrong.

The last dream was the strangest. I was living with my very much alive parents and definitely pregnant although I didn’t have a partner. Not sure why I didn’t get an abortion since I didn’t want a child. For a second, I considered having it so I might have someone to look out for me when I got old but then decided it would best be given up for adoption. I decided I would inform my parents of my decision. I walked through the house and found them sitting outside on the patio. I told them I wanted to talk to them and that it was kind of “heavy duty.”

Did a 15-minute video and I’ll do it again later. Going to try to mix in walking as well even if it isn’t much. Fitbit recognized it as 15 active minutes and an aerobic workout. Well, that’s pretty much what it is, bopping around and throwing your arms and legs in various directions.

The next time Rockefeller calls me which I’m guessing we’ll be any minute now, I’ll share a banana with him, Blitz, and the rat.

In my last entry, I said this is the longest it’s been since I heard the saw across the street, but well, Tom told me I slept through quite a project the day before yesterday. It wasn’t him but someone he hired. It was a big job too, that must have cost around 2K which is precisely why I don’t want to live with people with money anymore. They widened the posts on his carport and redid the trim around the house. I wonder what’s next and when, although it was pretty quiet yesterday because of the rain.

Got our first real rain in six or seven months. Tom said it never rained hard, but it rained steadily all day and he was able to give the car a bath. Anyway, I’m glad this project was done while I slept and that it didn’t wake me up. Had I known it was to be done, it would have made falling asleep hard. I wouldn’t know it was done without him telling me about it although being observant as I am, I did notice the carport posts when I casually glanced out the window.

I can’t wait to get out of here and hopefully - hopefully - into a place where I don’t hear nearly as much traffic, planes, landscaping and projects. The commercial planes are still better at night but can be annoying in the morning. Other types of flying shit vary.

To be realistic, though, I don’t think we’ll get out of here in April or May. Not if we put the house up in March. It’s possible but unlikely. I say we’re looking at getting out somewhere between June and August but then that is what we wanted. We want to arrive in Florida when it’s at the worst it could possibly be for those with asthma and allergies so I can get a sense early on as to whether or not I’m going to be able to handle that climate. If we leave in July then we’ll have been in this state for 14 years since we arrived on July 25th, 2007.

I like how my journals and stories will be backed up online this time around. When we left Arizona and when we left Oregon, we only had them on our hard drives. So had we been in an accident that demolished our computers, they would have been history.

Sometime soon, using his 3D printer, we’re going to trace my nails with tracing paper and then print out templates so that I’ll always have something I can trace nail stickers with. Even the ones that fit best have a few that are a little too wide and that could stand to be trimmed a little bit.

Got a goodie bag from Walmart yesterday included in our order with some toothpaste, Unstoppables which make laundry smell really good, snack/energy bars, and a couple of Starbucks K-Cups. I had the mocha peppermint when I got up and tomorrow, I’ll have the cinnamon dolce.

I don’t want to get canned veggies because they’re high in sodium and not as good, but I am going to get a variety of frozen veggies so I don’t have to make sure I finish the fresh produce before it expires. Still have to get fresh romaine lettuce, carrots and tomatoes for the pigs, but believe me, they go through it long before it can expire. We order every few days and they go through about one romaine heart a day. Every now and then they give me shitty produce but not too often. The rat eats some of the veggies too, but mostly has what I’m having on top of his own food since rats can eat anything.

Still not understanding why some people add people on Facebook just to ignore them. This isn’t a random stranger either. Yes, I’m talking about Minnie. Okay, so we never met face-to-face, but we have exchanged phone calls and letters even if it’s been 20 years or so. about a week after I replied to her initial message, I asked if she got my message and she said yes, she’s just been busy working.

Her uncle died a few days ago. While she took the time to post a couple of memes today, she still hasn’t taken any time to message me, comment or react to any of my posts, even if I’m not very active there. Other forms of social media, I don’t care, but I don’t like people just sitting on my Facebook friend list for decoration. If I don’t hear from her by the end of the year, I’m kicking her out.

I shared an entry link from where I can code it, and not at all surprisingly, she didn’t show up on my visitor list. So unless she’s a hider, she’s probably not even paying attention to anything I post.

I’ve gone back and forth in my mind between which would be worse, him going first and having to kill myself so we could go together, or me dying first and leaving him alone. I guess I would rather be the one to die first since I know that sad or not, he could carry on by himself. I still would hate to see him have to die alone in the end even though he’s even less of a people person than I am.

But the thing is, could I let myself die if I suddenly had something terminal so I could be the one to go first? Or would that be easier said than done if it caused me so much pain and suffering until it killed me?

When I read back on the way I would flirt with Maliheh, I cringe with embarrassment and even a little shame. Why would I waste time on someone like her? Someone that never gave a shit about me. Not just her but why did I bother with people like Nane, etc.? Many believe flirting is fun and harmless as long as it’s just that but if I could start all over again, I never would have bothered. I swear Maliheh could come crawling on her hands and knees begging me to forgive her and I wouldn’t want a damn thing to do with her, let alone to flirt with her. The only regret I have is that she’ll never know just how much I want nothing to do with her. Really, she has no idea! I’m sure she assumes just the opposite if she were to contact me and that I would be thrilled but the truth is she would be rejected in a heartbeat. Don’t know if I would simply ignore her if I would bother to give her an explanation as to why I wanted nothing to do with her, but having nothing to do with her would be exactly what I would do.

But once again and as I’ve learned with getting older, it was all in those hormones. Those damn hormones. So much is connected to them until they die off.

This makes me wonder about Tom. He’s only human so how the hell did he manage to hide anyone he may have flirted with or had a crush on in his younger days? Certainly, there had to be someone. Or maybe not. Maybe he really does have a hormonal deficiency or imbalance that’s tied to his low appetite and he was simply incapable of those feelings and desires. Plus, being the shy and quiet type, he wouldn’t be so quick to flirt with anyone in person or online.

We all make mistakes in life but the two I could kick myself for the most were going to court and taking Tammy back into my life…again, after all she’s done to me in the past. Why did I have to see her true colors so many times before I finally smartened up? I was such a fucking idiot where she was concerned, though I suppose beating myself up over it is pointless.

She’s just the opposite. If I apologized for nothing I owe her an apology for, she would reconnect with me. She’ll only hear from me one more time and that’s when I feel the time is right to share one last piece of my mind with her and her brats. This will likely be in response to when she reaches out to me and I don’t doubt for a minute that that day will come. Probably to tell me she’s dying or something dramatic like that. She and her brats really were the ultimate drama queens. There was always, always drama going on with them. Like someone recently wrote in their own journal, eventually, you realize that someone who has one crisis after another doesn’t simply have a string of “bad luck” but an actual love of drama. Tammy craves it, thirsts for it, wants it, needs it…but she’ll never have her sister back again. That’s for damn sure.

“I WON THE ELECTION!” Trump still shouts on Twitter. Twitter, which although adds the truth to these bullshit tweets, continues to ply the bastard with a platform to make these false claims.

These delusional cries of victory have me unsure as to whether or not I should laugh at the craziness of it or cringe at how evident it is that the president, someone who’s supposed to be a hell of a lot more with it than this prick is, could possibly be this out of his fucking mind.

You didn’t win, you subhuman piece of shit, just like you and your equally fucked up wife probably never had the virus. That was just another publicity stunt, no doubt, that did you no good in the end.

As for the virus itself, things always take longer than expected. Always. So I’m really worried that no matter how we go out of here, we’re not going to go out when we plan to. I just wonder how many months were going to be delayed. This is just fucking ridiculous too. I’m not going to be “teased” with moving year after year. Eventually, I’m going to give up and just accept that this was where I was meant to be, like it or not, and start doing what we can to soundproof the place. I don’t want it to come down to that, of course, but I don’t want to waste time struggling for what isn’t meant to be either. Instead of waiting for something that isn’t going to happen, I could be spending that time more productively. I swear it’s like the story of my life is waiting to get out of places I’ve been stuck in and that I don’t want to be in! Right now I still think we will indeed get out of here next year. I just don’t know if it will be the April or May we planned.

Had a dream we were living in the country and I was doing something outside for hours, though I don’t know what. Two or three loud dogs were barking their asses off on the property next to us but I refused to drown them out with headphones or whatever because I wanted to try to finally make myself get used to it. No chance with that in real life otherwise I would have gotten used to that shit a long time ago!

These days, which I’m guessing is due to the virus, the biggest annoyance is the morning commercial planes. Runner-up to that would be the freeway and helicopters throughout the night but that comes and goes depending on the direction of the wind.

This is the longest the guy across the street has gone (that I know of) without sawing. Something must have happened to him if he didn’t get complained of because I can’t believe he would just stop. That’s not something guys like that get sick of any more than people like me get sick of writing.

Still loving my new massager. It’s not just great for lying on my stomach and placing on my back but also for lying on my side and wedging it between my back and the body pillow. My back is narrower than most people’s, so it doesn’t have a wide massage span when I’m lying on my stomach and letting it do my back. When I place it on the small of my back, it kind of reminds me of someone kneading the area with their thumbs. When I turn it the long way when lying on my side, then it has a wider reach.

Decided to start doing the exercise videos that Tom’s gotten addicted to doing. Team Body Project. They’re good for seniors because a lot of the videos are low-impact. My weight will never be in the 120s again and my waist will never be under the 30s but I like the way he’s now able to do them even when he’s tired and just the way he says they make him feel in general. He didn’t expect it to take this long, saying he always heard 6 weeks was when to expect any real change, but he feels it’s helping his metabolism overall the longer he does them.

I was doing better but now the random bouts of fatigue are setting in again. I’ve been tired for the last couple of days even though I have made myself do some walking up and down the house and started with a 10-minute video today. Maybe I’ll do another one later.

Not gonna diet per se. I’m going to focus more on ingredients than calories. There’s no getting around the fact that I need more than 1000 calories. That’s not going to change. I’ll aim for 1200 but will probably end up closer to 1500.

Every now and then I like variety and I’ve been getting a little too carby lately. Fortunately, I don’t like to have bread, rice and pasta often anyway. So definitely going to back off of that as well as things like potatoes and sugar. I’ll allow myself one sugary treat a week.

I didn’t get a great sleep score today and yesterday. I’ve learned that what may be good sleep scores for some isn’t good for everyone. I feel better when I get sleep scores of 89 or 90. But when I get 86 or 87, I tend to be tired.

I woke up unable to breathe at one point. My nose was stuffy and I considered putting a breathing strip across my nose before bed but didn’t. My mouth was closed and I was sleeping on my stomach when I woke up unable to get enough air in because my nose was stuffy. Like I said, anything to wake me up. It only lasted a few seconds, though, and then I was out again.

Really like these Bolthouse smoothies I discovered. They make fruit and vegetable smoothies, and I was thinking that these might be a great way to replace perishable fruits and veggies. I’m always in a race against time trying to hurry up and finish this and that before it expires but this way I wouldn’t have to play that game. It would cost a little more but be worth it. It’s not processed in any way. They just blend the stuff. They don’t add anything to it so it’s no different than me getting the Ingredients in making a smoothie myself. I don’t usually count calories but I like how everything is measured for me and I know exactly how much I’m getting of what. They recommend 1 to 1 1/2 cups a day of fruit and 2 to 2 1/2 cups a day of veggies.

The new massager arrived and it’s wonderful. Definitely can’t say it’s as good as human hands but it’s still pretty damn good. Love how I can just lie on my stomach, position it on my back, and it kneads away. I just have to adjust the position every now and then. It changes directions every few minutes. Work well whether I have a shirt on or it’s sitting on my bare back.

Got a crazy story idea in mind that I’ve already mentioned and that I’ve been on a surprising roll with it, even returning to NaNo. I’ve got almost 5K words and my word count goal is set to 10K since I chose not to check the box associating it with a NaNo event. It’s more like I’m writing a bunch of scenes than an actual story. It’s a story but it’s told in bits and pieces. It doesn’t quite flow in the way a typical story does. I’m kind of jumping around in the life of this badass female outlaw and all the revenge she seeks on those she believes have crossed her.

Earlier in the evening, we went on a very chilly walk. I had a long-sleeved sweatshirt on underneath my hoodie and it was still kind of chilly. Because of the hip problems I’ve been having, I didn’t run and was only out for 10 minutes. I’ve made a point of getting steps inside the house by walking up and down it or hopping on my skier.

There really is no end to what will wake me up. Fortunately, I had just dropped off to sleep so it was no big deal. I ended up sleeping just fine afterward. I was falling asleep when I was aware of Alexa talking. Probably to say something like, “Sorry, I’m having trouble playing this right now. Please try again later.”

The Wi-Fi in the bedroom is spotty so she stopped playing the brown noise I had her playing. We’ll definitely have a more reliable setup in the next place. I still had the air cleaner and the white noise running, though.

I didn’t think I had any dreams but after I’d been up a while I remembered a quick dream involving visiting Dixie. She was sitting by the back window in her master bedroom that had a window AC in it. I knew she often dozed in the chair and realized she wouldn’t hear it if anyone were trying to enter the house.

Suddenly, a friend of hers was there and Dixie began to get irritated with me for pointing out the risk of catching the virus which she didn’t see as that big of a deal.

Her moodiness is exactly why I haven’t contacted her. I’ve gotten a few jokes from her, one of which she forwarded to me but I haven’t heard anything else from her and I’m kind of hoping not to.

Later…

My rosewater and jasmine perfumed powder came today and it’s so strong smelling that Tom thought it broke open in the package before he opened it. It’s nice but I only smell the rose and not the jasmine.

When I was almost fully asleep, the dream people showed me how we were going to be going out of here. Or so I can hope and wish anyway. It left me with that feeling that definitely has me wondering if what I had was just a dream or something more. It was weird. It was like I wasn’t even completely asleep yet although close enough to it. I felt myself flying and then slowly turning when I realized I was on a plane that was taking off and turning in the direction of our destination. I then clearly heard the steady drone of the jet engines. It appeared to be the first-class part of the plane and we were on the same side of the plane as last time. So the window was to my left and he was to my right. I turned to him with a big grin on my face and my eyes wet with tears which seemed a little too happy for going on vacation.

Then there was something about a white house. There was some black as well. I don’t know if it was the trim or something else. I just wonder if it could be a sign even though it seems unlikely. It’s just that the feeling was so real! I know dreams can often feel very real but this was a little different in a way that’s hard to explain. I could really feel the sensations I was feeling in the dream and hear the sounds I heard.

I jumped up out of bed and asked him what he thought and he said he didn’t know either as to whether or not it could mean anything although it’s encouraging. When I really analyze it, I don’t see how it will be much safer to fly in half a year than it is now or that we would get that much for this place to afford to go out of here first class as much as I’d love to. I would love to meet my buddy as rough as a drive across the country would be but given the choice and money, we would rather fly there. It would just be so much easier for us both.

Another thing I realized is that if we had our stuff shipped, they’re insured. So if they got in an accident and our shit was demolished, we would get paid for it. If we drove across and had an accident, no one would give us shit.

Only time will tell if it was a sign or not but right now, if I had to guess, we’re driving across. That’s the one that makes the most sense logically. Hard on us or not, driving wouldn’t be all bad if that’s the way we had to go. It’s going to depend on where the virus stands and where we stand financially.

I’ve been feeling good emotionally and I’m trying not to let the what-ifs and bad thoughts take that away from me. Yet I’m doing it again. I’m sitting here wondering how many more years I might have lived after Tom died but knowing I’ll never find out for two basic reasons. One is that I would be so lonely and depressed without him and the other is that honestly, I don’t see how I could take care of myself on my own. Life isn’t as simple as it was in the 80s and 90s when I had apartments. It’s gotten so complex not to mention that I don’t expect to ever live in the city on a bus line. You can’t live in these types of parks or out in the country and not have a car.

Then there would be the everyday issues like getting food, paying bills, fixing things that break, and that would be too much for me, especially getting older. It’s sad to know that the only place I could go where I wouldn’t be alone or have to worry about basic survival would be to prison and that’s certainly no place I would ever go. I would never want to go back to having to fight for my medication, plus I’m a lot needier than I was at 35. Like they would give me oil to help shed dead skin from my fake ear canal? Like they would take care of my dental needs and other things? This is all on top of how exhausted and uncomfortable incarceration leaves you in general. The only thing that would be different would be that I could afford to beat the shit out of an inmate that threatened or even just annoyed the holy hell out of me if I was physically able to and not worry about write-ups and visitation restrictions when there would be nobody to visit anyway.

Seriously, I just hope that unless I’m the one to go first, I have the strength to kill myself and do it right. The last thing I would want would be to commit a crime bad enough to finish my time off in prison or to have to act crazy enough to finish it off in a funny farm somewhere. I go when he goes.

And yet another business caves to the pressure and replaces its Indian head logo with a tiger head. How long are we going to be doormats to people who just can’t be pleased and re-write a history that can’t be rewritten? When will we put our foot down and say enough is enough already?!

I miraculously managed to sleep through the trash truck, but fucking Amazon woke me up by crashing into the speed bump outside the bedroom when I could have used another hour or so of sleep. What is it with people slamming into speed bumps? They’re there for a reason and it’s not to be crashed into.

I still have to see it to believe it, but I can’t fucking wait to live somewhere where traffic waking me up isn’t an issue!

Last night the freeway, small planes and helicopters were annoying but tonight is quiet. I’m guessing the weather has to do with it. It drizzled on and off all day but never rained hard enough to clean off the car. He was going to pull it out onto the street and let Mother Nature give it a bath but it’s like California is doing everything it can to resist raining. It’s going to try again on Tuesday, though, so we’ll see how much we get then.

Fitbit emailed me thanking me for my participation in their heart study which shows I don’t have an irregular heartbeat, an indicator of A-fib. This was a relief to know since I know I’ve had a handful of experiences where I felt my heart flutter for a few seconds. It’s pretty scary too.

The virus cases are climbing like crazy. Damn, do I hope we get a successful vaccine approved and available soon! Cali went from 19K critical cases to 32K critical cases in one day. It’s no problem for us to stay home since we’re homebodies anyway but still…who wants that risk and to always have to wear a mask in public?

They closed the pool and the clubhouse. It would be even better if they stopped having parades.

We ordered a few things on Amazon. Needed a new smoke detector so we got one that also has a carbon monoxide detector in it. It’s just a basic no-frills detector since we’re leaving in about half a year. I sure as hell hope so anyway! I still worry something’s going to come up at the last minute to delay the move.

I also got a bead-stopper spring that you insert the ends of strings you’re beading into to keep them from falling off.

Got myself some jasmine and rose-scented powder that has a puff in it so I can dab it on myself easily. It’s good for absorbing sweat that can occur in warmer temps or after a workout under the boobs or in the groin.

The last thing we got which I’m looking forward to the most is a back massager I’ve never had before that you don’t have to hold. Anything you have to hold and work yourself kind of defeats the purpose because then you have to strain to reach behind you. I wanted something that does the job for you and this pillow with rotating balls that you can lean against seems the most promising. Some people have reported getting burned so I won’t use the heat, something I’m not interested in any way. I just want something I can use for these fucking backaches I still get on and off.

I’ve been doing a bit more writing, believe it or not. Just some crazy shit that most people wouldn’t find interesting about a female serial killer with superhuman strength that gets revenge on anyone that crosses her.

I just finished a book by N.L. Hinkens and the story took place on a cruise ship. I’ve considered using that as a setting for one of my stories. At first I was going to have a lead character that was a dancer or a singer that gets a little more attention than she wants from one of the security guards but then I decided I would have her do nails in the ship’s salon. Why not when you’re obsessed with doing your own nails? LOL, I’ve got purple and blue Maity strips on now.

I just started Anything for You by Marissa Finch.

Forgot to mention the other day that we got a bill for spraying my pre-cancerous spot which was $41. Tom was surprised it wasn’t over $100.

Made sauteed spinach for the first time and it came out great. I just fry baby spinach leaves in a pan with butter spray. Maybe next time I’ll add a hint of garlic salt.

We were discussing the pros and cons of rural versus a park and they definitely both have their fair share of ups and downs. We agree it would be smart to start off in a park since it would be easier to sell if Florida didn’t work out for some reason and then I would have a park to compare this one to, even though they’re probably all pretty similar. He thinks there would be less likely to be motorcycles and power tools in lower-income parks, though, which does make sense. I think part of the reason there are so many projects here is that the people can afford to do them. And own motorcycles.

However, if we do spot a rural place that is too good to pass up, we’re going to try to get it. He found a great house with a screened-in pool but I don’t see how we’re going to be able to afford a 130K place on just his retirement alone. We could afford it once we got settled in but I don’t think anyone would accept us to begin with without additional income. I just don’t see us making any money with books or apps. Too much like winning the lottery. It’s frustrating because had the bastard above not seen fit to curse me with this kind of sleep disorder, maybe I could have worked too and doubled our retirement.

I just want people to stop waking me up like they did today! Tom was in his room which the trap door to the meter is right outside of and he assured me it wasn’t the meter reader because he can always feel the vibration of that. I both heard and felt a bang. He thinks it was likely someone going over the speed bump. Yeah, either that or next door slammed a car door too hard. Friday it will be garbage trucks waking me up.

Tom said there was a parade after I got up, and believe it or not I didn’t hear anything. I was probably near the air cleaner when they went honking by. I don’t get it, though. There used to be one parade a year here, then COVID comes along and now we’re having parades every other month?

I’m just worried that once again I’m chasing an impossible dream and that there’s no escaping this shit. I’m sure we could get further from the street but planes are becoming more and more of a problem everywhere and with Florida being such a popular vacation spot, there would be just as many there, maybe even more in some places.

We’re still going to get the sleep pod whether or not we end up soundproofing the rest of the place. If I could just get a little further from a flight path and into a park where there are no dogs or motorcycles, then the only annoyance would be from whatever carport runs alongside our place, along with whatever projects the park does.

I just want to be so excited that we can’t get there fast enough! However, I’m sure it will be with some trepidation instead. Some question as to whether or not next door will wake me up or if something else nearby might be a problem. But then if I absolutely loved it, I’d just worry we’d lose it.

At least they don’t read water meters there since they don’t charge you for it because Florida isn’t in a drought like we are.

Here’s another weird thing about Aly, who received and really likes the jewelry I made for her and says she has something she’s sending me in time for my birthday (aw, how sweet of her even though she doesn’t have to). Well, it’s almost like she’s afraid to reply to my emails. I told her that rather than waiting and copying and pasting any errors she finds in a Skype message to me, especially since the longer she waits, the less likely she is to remember them, simply reply to the email and that way I know exactly which entry it is. Then she told me it never would have occurred to her to reply directly to the email and that kind of surprised me. It would only seem natural that this would be the easiest thing to do while it was fresh on your mind, wouldn’t it? She just seems way too smart not to have thought of that one but I don’t know. Maybe there’s some other reason she doesn’t want to email me although I can’t imagine what it could possibly be.

It was nice and quiet last night but tonight I can hear the freeway which means I’m going to hear some planes tonight as well.