Because I have fatigue so often, I sometimes opt for the less healthy option of prepared foods. I had cheesy spinach au gratin cakes, and OMG, it was so damn good! Even the rat loved it, but rats pretty much like everything. Yes, I share most of my food with her.

I usually have two meals and three snacks, with the snacks being mostly fruits and veggies. My second meal is home-cooked but simple compared to making soups or casseroles because all I do is throw stuff in the cooker. I tossed in a chicken leg, a corn cob, some sugar snap peas, and mushrooms.

I would love to have a smart oven and one of those smart refrigerators that tell you when things expire, but I don't know if I’ll ever have that. 

I'm super tired today. I woke up a million times—once with that lower stomach pain. I ended up getting carried away between that wonderful soup I made and then eating too many fish sticks, so it’s probably a digestive issue, as Rhonda suggested.

If I didn’t experience fatigue so often, I’d opt to see Rhonda in person as a way to get out into the fresh air and sunshine. But because I never know how I’m going to feel, I’ll probably schedule our next appointment virtually, which she said I could do.

I keep going back and forth trying to decide whether or not I have a yeast infection, but one thing I can say for sure is that the stuff I’ve been using to treat it—if I even have one—is making me even more irritated and itchy. So I’m going to assume I don’t unless my symptoms worsen. Whatever the hell I’ve got going on right now can’t be tied to atrophy. I just don’t see how that could be possible.

For just 186 points, I ordered moisturizing socks from my insurance company. These are better than the ones I got before that had an open heel and a silicone pad glued onto them. They’re aloe vera-infused and you apply lotion as usual and then slip the socks on, which is supposed to help the moisturizer work even better. Then you just wash them like regular socks. The color options were black or pink, and of course, I got pink.

I really like this insurance company better than any I’ve had so far. I’m sure I won’t be able to keep them next year, though, now that we know how screwy things work here. I still miss Galileo, but don’t expect to ever have them again.

Ray’s back, so wherever he went, it was just for a few days. I thought it was an odd time for him to take off. Just a couple more months and we can ditch the snowbirds for the storms, power outages, and hurricanes.

A part of me hopes that my parents, if they are in some kind of afterlife, fully know and understand how everything they ever said or did to me affected me and made me feel. I like the idea of anyone I’ve ever interacted with, whether positively or negatively, knowing how they impacted me.

The problem with that is that it would require an afterlife to exist and I’d honestly rather there not be one as there’s no guarantee it would be good. I’d rather there be no afterlife at all than risk the possibility of it being worse than this life. It’s still a nice concept, though I don’t take unproven things literally like most people seem to. Just because I like the idea of something doesn’t always mean it’s true.

Since I’m pretty tired, I’m going to spend the night being lazy. I’m on nights now, so there isn’t much else I can do anyway. It’s not like I can go outside and enjoy the sunlight, and there aren’t many jobs available at this hour. I doubt I’ll have the energy to work out, but I will definitely be doing some writing, coloring, and watching Lifetime movies. It’s easy for me to bitch about them and swear I’m going to cancel because of all the holiday stuff that comes out before Christmas. And yeah, I do get sick of the stereotypes and predictability. But at the same time, I really do enjoy a lot of their movies.