I think I got sleep apnea’d awake. At least I seemed to have breathing issues upon waking up and they didn’t seem connected to my nose. It’s either that or medication accumulation, but right now, I’m breathing fine and suspect sleep apnea. 

Why did I have to get so fucking fat?! I wouldn’t give a shit if it weren’t for health issues and the fact that it’s harder to get around with the extra weight. It limits my range of mobility—at least as an older person, it does. I have seen younger people much bigger than me who are way more flexible, and all I can do is sit and say, how? How, how, how?

No guarantees losing 30 pounds would do me any good anyway, though, because again, things still change with age, and my throat structure is still what it is. But it might help with other things like cholesterol and blood pressure. Oh well. I’ll never know what it may or may not help with because I’m not losing it—not with the sheer slavery it would take in my case due to my thyroid issues and not with how the medication could affect me since it’s weight-dependent.

I have a bad feeling that, for whatever reason, I’m due for another shitty sleep spell. I knew it was coming anytime now. Unfortunately, these are never isolated incidents. So the question isn’t if I’m going to be tired for days, but how many days? 

In a couple of hours, it’s supposed to rain for nearly 24 hours. The other question is whether or not it’s going to thunder while I’m sleeping.