I am so fucking frustrated tonight! We had a huge thunderstorm earlier, and I’m surprised it didn’t take out the power. However—and not at all surprising—it had to happen while I was asleep. It stormed like it was July! This is the second day in a row that something has woken me up. If it’s not allergies, it’s storms. Why is it that I can’t go more than three or four days with decent enough sleep? It’s been so many years since I’ve even made it a whole week. This is just fucking ridiculous. Why is it that the most simple, basic human rights are so out of reach for some of us? All I want is the right to sleep.

I realize now more than ever that there’s no place on Earth we could go where I would be able to sleep. Had we gone to New Mexico, there just would have been sonic booms, monsoons, dogs barking onto our land, random people knocking on the door, hunters, etc. The only difference is that I may have been able to breathe easier there. I really miss the days when I could simply fall into bed and that was that. Now I need pills, snot sprays, nose strips, CPAPs—and that still isn’t enough. 

So now I’m left exhausted, not being allowed to wake up when my body was ready to. The weird thing is that I had already slept 8.5 hours. You would think after that much sleep, I wouldn’t be tired, but I am. The question is, how much more sleep did my body think it needed? I can’t believe I would have slept more than another half hour to an hour at most, but I guess that’s all it takes to spoil my energy for the following day—especially now that I’m getting old and closing in on the 60 marker.

I feel a lot worse for Jamaica than I do for myself right now, though. I hate people in general, and I even try to be a bit of an ice princess, but my heart truly goes out to them. I thought they were supposed to get hit by Hurricane Melissa a few days ago, but it’s actually about to happen as a Cat 5. The entire country is going to get slammed as it’s in the middle of the cone. Even though it’s so much bigger, I can’t imagine my entire country about to be completely engulfed in a Cat 5 cane! How utterly terrifying that’s got to be. I mean, certainly not everyone can just leave the island, so I’m guessing there are going to be a lot of casualties.

I also realize that it’s not entirely impossible for this area to get a direct hit by a Cat 4 or 5. Even with a little elevation and not being right smack dab on the coast, the effects would be catastrophic and totally devastating.

Although I haven’t officially been spammed yet, I figured there was a catch when someone “liked” one of my stories, sent me a virtual gift, and left a comment praising it as if it were more than just the single chapter I’ve posted so far. Knowing I would go to their profile to see who they were—and I did—I found it was one of those who love to offer promotional services to writers. Knowing the next step would be to actually spam me, I decided to go ahead and disable comments since I’m allowed to do that there, anyway. Might as well take advantage of the option. Besides, I use the site mostly as a backup for my stories, with any onlookers being welcome, but not for feedback. It’s when someone “likes” my stuff at random just to be liking it or because they want something from me that irritates me. Well, they can “like” all they want, but now they can’t give me praise in hopes of making money off me.