Ugh, I just can’t win. There is absolutely no beating this sleep curse. No matter what I do, I haven’t been able to go a whole week with decent sleep in years—over a decade now. The best I can do is get two to four days of decent enough sleep, and I can’t even get that lately. This is the third night in a row that I’ve slept absolutely horribly. Well, I’m on nights now, so technically I slept during the daytime, but still. My sleep was horribly fragmented, and I was struggling to breathe from what I’m pretty sure were allergies. I took Benadryl before bed, forgetting that that stuff only lasts four to six hours. 

Again, despite Fitbit saying I got 7.5 hours of sleep with a good sleep score, I feel like I haven’t slept in years. It also says my oxygen level was 94%, but I’m not buying that either.

My brain is fried. I can feel the lack of sleep just chipping away at it. I couldn’t even remember how to message Rhonda. I kept trying to do it from the insurance portal instead of the medical group. Finally, I managed to message her to tell her that allergies are still waking me up at times, and I still have the collapsed nasal valve issues. So what does she recommend? I’m assuming I’m going back to the last ENT I saw. Not sure yet if I’m going to make a basic appointment or one for allergy consulting. Yes, I still want to know what I’m allergic to out of curiosity, but shots aren’t an option for me, and neither is changing this climate. But my nose can be revamped. So the best I can do is hope for the surgery and maybe, just maybe, a mouth guard if we can find someone in the state who makes the damn things and accepts whatever insurance I’m going to have next.

I’m thinking of upping the pressure again on the CPAP to get the air I need when my allergies are worse. If I’m going to get woken up anyway, what’s a few more times, right? Even though I know that if I suddenly had a normal nose and no allergies, whatever’s cursing my sleep would just find something else, it’s hard to fight that natural instinct to try to improve my health and sleep.

Perked up a little bit, but I doubt it will last long. Having extra coffee today. Really hope I get a break next time around. Three rounds of shitty sleep is already a killer. I need those two to four days in a row of good sleep I sometimes get. I always said the N24 would be the first thing I’d change about me if I could, but I don’t know about that anymore. I’d rather sleep well and not on a schedule than sleep shitty at night every night.