Mood:  weird

Slept OK last night, but I've been having this weird whooshing sensation on the left side of my neck. I think it's most likely due to the extra sodium I've been having. I've been goofing off these last few days and having processed stuff and a few sugary treats.

We ran out to Publix earlier, and I made a point of hanging out in the sun for a few minutes later on.

Had a pretty good day yesterday. Thought I’d be exhausted today, but I’m ok, or at least as ok as I can be in this day and age. Air was escaping my mouth again, so I’m back to sleeping with mouth tape even though I still slept well enough the night before last, and a long time, too. CPAP pressure is still at 7. I don't know why I'm leaking. Maybe I'm more relaxed, and my mouth isn't closed as tightly or something. Really hope I don't go chipmunking with the tape! Damn, do I really hope I can get my nose fixed and a mouth guard! If I don't, I'm going to struggle with this shit on and off for the rest of my life. It's basically hit or miss.

I did some aerobic activity yesterday, and already I'm starting to feel that little tickle in my throat, so I think I got my answer as to whether or not it was my thyroid.

Kathy revealed to me that nearly a decade ago, she was arrested for domestic violence. This doesn't surprise me. I like her, but the woman has always had anger issues. I don't know if she would still take the time to troll anyone online who pissed her off, but she's still the same angry, defensive person, even though she claims not to give a shit what others think. I see a lot of the old me in her. For years, I was very angry as well, and that was my dominant negative emotion. One can only take so much shit in life. Not that I've become okay with any of the abuse I've had to endure in the past, but you just sort of go numb with time, or at least accept and “get used to” what happened.

I've been noticing more and more that I give less and less of a fuck about pretty much everything in general. Sometimes I wish I could feel some of my old emotions because, in some ways, they provided a challenge and kept me going. Take Nane, for example. Whenever I would get up back in 2010, I would excitedly check in on Facebook to see if she contacted me, and I would be disappointed if she didn't. I would eagerly tell her all kinds of things and send her lots of long messages. Now, however, as much as I'm curious to know about what's going on in her life these days, I would hardly contact her, and I wouldn't care what she thought about what was going on with me. Trying to impress her would be the last thing on my mind. The comments that used to flatter me no longer make me feel much of anything. The same goes for someone trying to insult me. What would have hurt in the past now makes me shrug and say, "Oh well."

Is it bad to lose so much of my feelings and so much emotion, or is it a normal part of aging? My guess is that it's not normal for everyone. Andy doesn't seem to have changed in that he still would want to impress certain people and would feel hurt if someone insulted him. I'm sure Tammy is the same way, too.

Anyway, I can totally see Kathy being arrested for fighting. She said she was hungover, Adam shoved her, she shoved back, and a neighbor was just coming over with cookies when she heard her swearing up a storm and called the cops. Of course, being as backward as America is, she barely spent a day in jail. Hey, it was only violence. But when you write something down on a harmless piece of paper, well, that's a whole different story in this country, but I won't get off on a tangent about how unfair things are. I guess some things do still piss me off, even if it may not be as deeply as it used to, because you just get used to the twistedness and the unfairness of the world, I guess, and learn to expect this sort of shit is going to happen.

I love experimenting with different apps in the Play Store, and the latest one I'm playing with is a home decoration game called ReDecor, and it's pretty fun. They haven't forced ads on me or anything. At least not yet.  I also downloaded Venue, another home design app, but I haven't used it much yet. I wish the Play Store would keep track of what we've downloaded because sometimes I try something, then uninstall it, and then at a later date, I'll come across it and be unsure as to whether or not I've tried it before.