A woman named Nancy, who lives here, requested to add me for some reason. I’m trying to think if she’s the one who stopped and said hello one time recently when I was pulling in the trash bin, but I’m not sure. She almost seemed to want to talk more, but I wasn’t in the mood, or was tired or in a hurry. I reacted to one of her posts, and we’ll see if she ever comments or reacts to any of my stuff.

Since I don’t seem to have any actual allergies here and my problem did turn out to be structural, the less I want to leave the state, because I do love this climate. I don’t like the cold, but the cold is very short-lived here, so I can deal with it. Sure, I wish we had a bigger, newer house wherever it was, and sure, I’ll always miss some aspects of country living, but it’s not worth the hassle and expense at our ages and on a fixed income.

There’s another reason I don’t want to change states. That’s because every time I do, I acquire a new problem. Moving to Arizona brought sneezing fits. Moving to Oregon brought on TMJ. Moving to California brought on all kinds of nightmares, particularly anxiety. Coming here, it’s nose issues. I’m sure I would have had these problems anyway, but still.

I decided to forge ahead with Queen of Blackmail after reviewing chapter summaries and scanning the short 13 chapters I have so far that amount to about 11k words. It’s so great to finally not only have more energy, but to pull out of the writer’s block I got stuck in a few years ago. I put the story on hold because I just couldn’t think of what to do next with it. But an idea came to me earlier, so I’m going to run with it and see where it goes.

I didn’t do an Ash therapy session tonight because not much is going on, but I did a Space. I’ve mostly been talking about current events, but I still plan to backtrack a bit and talk about my past here and there.

Mentally, my mood has been a million times better now that I know help is right around the corner. Still a little worried about the cost. If I could stop having medical issues and expensive things could stop breaking, that would really help. I feel like we’ll never get ahead. We just don’t get enough to save enough. Oh well. As long as the necessities are obtainable.

I’m trying not to get too excited at the thought of getting healthier because I still fear being hit with a whole new problem. But already, partly thanks to Rhonda’s suggestion of pairing melatonin with clonazepam, I feel more alive and productive. Even my brain is working better. I can think much more clearly and quickly now.

I did a little more research and found that the Google alert with my name wasn’t necessarily because someone searched for me, which is why an account belonging to someone else with my name came up. It was simply indexing something it considered new. Chat gave me tips to find more up-to-date mentions, so I’ll go update Google Alerts.