Written before lunchtime: Heading for my pre-op appointment, and I'm horribly tired. I knew I would be. The further away or longer my appointments are, the more tired I am. Fucking nose woke me up again, and I had to take an extra melatonin to get back to sleep. The rest of my sleep was restless. I kept waking up and was also going from hot to cold.

Slept a little better the previous night. I don't know, maybe Claritin helps more than I realize. I'll take it before bed tonight, but only half of the clonazepam. That way, I can take the other half when something wakes me up. Might leave me less groggy than melatonin.

I had some interesting dreams a couple of nights ago. First, I was trapped in a tiny bare room somewhere in Bermuda. It had wooden walls and floors. The room started filling with smoke, and I was struggling to get the door open. Finally, the door opened, and the passersby seemed completely oblivious to my plight.

Then we were somewhere in Montenegro.

Then I broke into Nane's apartment. I love it when I dream of her, even though most of the dreams involving her are negative. She's just never happy to see me, any more than she would be in real life. She had good reason to be mad at me last time around, though. She had a small studio apartment, and I somehow got into it when she was out and was checking out her place. By her desk stood at least half a dozen framed photos of her at various ages in life, which I took to be a sign of her narcissism. Suddenly, the door opened up, and there she was, furious as ever. She wasted no time pouncing on me, screaming something about Germany, which I assumed meant I was really screwed for my little B&E endeavor.

I feel like it's pre-2012 again, only with an older, fatter, unhealthier body but a better house and climate. That's because the money struggles are back again. If only healthcare were free in the US! It's going to suck every last dime out of us, preventing us from ever getting ahead. I swear, though, the next health issue, I'm just going to live with it if it isn't debilitating, and kill myself if it is. I've had it with suffering, appointments, and putting Tom out. I asked him if he'd still marry me if he'd known I'd have so many health problems. "Of course," he said, and that's really sweet of him, though I still feel bad. I feel bad for both of us. Retirement, especially when you're still in your 60s, should be fun, relaxing, and easy living. Not full of this shit.

And why, oh why, does it have to take so long to get care in the first place? It shouldn't have taken me so long to get back on the CPAP, even if part of that was my fault, and it shouldn't take this long to get my nose dealt with either.

Another thing that annoys the fuck out of me is having to answer the same 50 questions over and over again. I thought I was just going to schedule my pre-op yesterday. Instead, I did that, then had to wait for a nurse to call me, and spent an hour going over my meds and health history when they already have that information. I wouldn't have to go in today if it weren't for my fucking heart. Even though it's been a few years since I was tested and everything was always fine, they want to do an EKG.

On top of all the health work, we have to stop by the ENT's office on the way back to sign surgery consent forms. Now, why the hell couldn't that be done electronically? I just don't understand why everyone's so afraid to do things online. Why wouldn't you want to make your life easier?

Later... We're now charging at what has to be the emptiest emergency room we've ever seen. No one was there! We went in to use the bathrooms.

I downloaded the Spotify app, but it turns out my phone's jack isn't for the headphones I wanted to use. This sucks, since the roads sound like war zones with all the loud vehicles and boom car stereos. It's fucking ridiculous but never changes.

I don't know why, but VZ has been having back-to-back challenges. I liked it better when there were just a few a year. Kept it more special that way. At least this one seems to have fewer dumpy locations. There's a ride in Verona, two in the UK, and two in Russia.

According to Penana, where I have all my journals, memoir and stories, I've written over 10.4 million words!

Threw a chicken thigh in the cooker before we left. We'll be out for 6 hours or more. It's on low and can stay in there up to 8 hours.

Later… Charging at the hospital again after the pre-op appointment. Surprised I was in and out as fast as I was. Not only that, but everyone I dealt with today and on the phone was from here. Anyway, she took my temperature, blood pressure, and did the EKG. Everything looked good. She sent me off with a special antibacterial soap to use the day before surgery and instructions. It's the usual stuff you should and shouldn't do before surgery.

Later… Just finished charging at the hospital for a second time and are on the road again. Got some snacks from their vending machine after using the bathrooms again. We needed these treats!

It's been a horribly long, stressful, and exhausting day, and my TMJ is really acting up today. At least Tylenol is helping with that since I can't take ibuprofen, which I'm used to taking, until after surgery.

Tom had to use his own charger in the parking garage because we couldn't find the one that was supposed to be there. Then we had to charge at a nearby car dealership when we had enough juice to get there before stopping at the hospital. Traffic is a nightmare, and the roads sound like a war zone, as I said.

No time to stop at the ENT today to sign the forms, so I called to let them know we'd be in tomorrow. Then I get a message from Rhonda's office saying they got consent forms but didn't know what they were asking consent for, and said to either call them back or contact the ENT. We'll mention it to the ENT tomorrow.

Right now, I just want to get home, eat my chicken, add more Tylenol to the Walmart order, and be done with this whole fucked-up day. Can't have any NSAIDs, vitamins, melatonin, and a few other things until after surgery. At least I can take clonazepam.

Damn, though! We haven't even been here 5 years, yet we're going to be two for two, each having surgery twice, even if his was much easier.

Twenty minutes from home now. One down, three to go. Well, supposedly three to go, since they keep adding appointments. Originally, I didn't know I would have to have a pre-op appointment, and I didn't know I would have to sign forms that I could have signed online.