Slept horribly. My sleep was fragmented and broken up. It finally hit me that part of that was my fault. For some reason, I got it in my mind that the melatonin gummies I currently have were half of 5 mg, but they’re actually half of 1 mg. Rhonda recommended 5 to 10 mg in conjunction with my clonazepam, and I’ve actually been only taking 1 to 1.5 mg. That’s how fucked up my brain has been lately. I’m just not sure if it’s sheer stupidity or because of the damage the years of sleep deprivation caused. I’ll soon be getting gummies that are 5 mg each. Before bed, next time around, I’m going to have to take 10 of them.

At one point, I had a horrible nightmare. I don’t know where we were living. The place seemed a little bigger than this and like something we had just moved into after living in a duplex. It looked like an older on-siter but still had this crappy Berber carpet. Tom was still working, and it was early in the morning. The sun hadn’t come up yet, and I was annoyed that Tom left all the lights on before he left. I was just waking up, turned the lights off, and slipped back into bed for a bit longer when I heard movement inside the house. I told myself it was just as safe there as the other place, even though deep down I wasn’t so sure. I hoped maybe Tom had returned for some reason, but before I could call out to him, I saw the shadowy profile of someone who definitely wasn’t Tom. They were very thin and tall with a hooked nose, and I woke up with my heart pounding before I could decide how to react. I guess that would have been a tie between running and locking myself in the bathroom versus charging and surprising the person.

It seems like there was one positive dream after this where we traveled somewhere. Then I got up for an hour or so and returned to sleep for a long nap.

Decided to go back to regular updates with Mia and have fun climbing the levels like I’m doing with my Arrows game. Wasn’t sure whether or not to stick with a realistic or legacy avatar. Guess I’ll stick with legacy for now because the realistic ones aren’t available yet on desktops, where it's easier to check in, change clothes, etc. I wanted an avatar different than the mates, so I made her Black with purple hair and eyes.

If my weight gain is due to age, my hands are tied. If it’s due to having too many carbs and cals, I can fix it—or at least try to. Remember, playing all my cards right is only gonna get me so far in my case.

I don’t know if I’ll have the brain power to do another chapter in my book. I still like to work on it when I can, but instead of doing romantic suspense, I do crime fiction these days.

The farro cup I had was good and took some time to eat. AI said it’s lacking in protein and I should add some tuna to it.