Today I’m being sort of lazy again. I couldn’t fall asleep till 1 AM, then Tom came to do my ear with the peroxide and ointment at 7:30 before he left for work. I fell back asleep till 9:30. It’s been so much easier to go back to sleep cuz there’s no continual noise. Also, it was pretty hard to fall back asleep when you’re so pissed off at the noisy people around you. This is the best and easiest I’ve slept in years. It’s great not having those two dreaded fears I had for so long before going to bed - Will I wake up with an asthma attack? Who will wake me up?

Amazingly, Fran never did call back again last night. I thought for sure he was going to leave a message or two. I have no desire to ever talk to him or Nervous ever again. I don’t even miss any good times we had, even though there wasn’t a whole heck of a lot of those. I don’t miss our funny talks or desire to tape and edit fights between Fran and Nervous or play games with Nervous. I’ll always love and keep any tapes I do have, but I’ve certainly outgrown them and have moved on.

Later...

I was just going to say that I still haven’t had my period, but I’ve got a couple of spots now. I knew I couldn’t be pregnant. Like God would finally let me have what I want for a change?

Anyway, I’m going to go do some typing now.

Later...

Today was a much better day. I felt more like my old self. For the few days before today, I was either bitchy or energyless.

I’m not sure now if that really was a spot. I had thought I was going to spot, which always leads to my period instantly, but the coast has been as clear as can be. I even put on a panty liner in the early afternoon but ditched it a few hours later. When Tom went down on me earlier he said my pH was fine and that I tasted fine, so that tells me it’s not right around the corner. Well, it may not be, but I can’t say for sure.

I was talking to Andy today for about an hour. When I was mentioning the dizziness and other side effects or alterations due to my surgery, I also subtly mentioned being 5 days late. Then, we went on to discuss how he feels very abandoned by his family and friends back East. No cards, calls, or letters from anyone. Then he said he had gotten a flash about my being pregnant when I said I was 5 days late. Honestly, I can’t see it. Who knows what the future holds, but right now it doesn’t seem real to me and my instincts say it’ll be here before mid-January. I feel like God’s teasing me!

Goldie called an hour or so ago. She thought my surgery was today. I didn’t talk to Al, but she was so happy for me and they’re in Las Vegas. I told her Ma said to call her cuz she didn’t have their number.

I completed the Becky document today and did I mention doing the Steven one a few days ago? Well, I did. I only have 5 documents left. The names are Eileen, Maria, Lamaris, Diane and another name I forgot. I also typed up quite a bit of 31.

Yesterday I took a water pill for the first time in quite a while. It’s great cuz I’m 99 pounds and look like I do after my period.

Now I’ve got no idea what in the world I’m going to do. I’m sick of typing and not in the mood for music and TV, so I’ll have to think of something.

Oh, I forgot to say this before, but I’ve got a current total of 355 letters. That’s a lot of letters!