I got no mail from Mary, but my fairy finally came. Although I wouldn’t say it was worth the $12 it cost, it is cute. The dress is a great color – pink with glitter sprinkled throughout it as well as the fairy’s white hair. It’s only 3”. I don’t really like the fact that it’s so small you can barely see it anyway. It’s cute, though, and I have it hanging from the kitchen light fixture at the lowest part of the ceiling just over the sink. It looks nice in the daytime with the way the light plays off the glitter. They lied about the bonus they said they were going to include for the long wait, but oh well. For all I know, that bonus could be some little stuffed animal or something like that which wouldn’t interest me.

To date, one of the doll albums has only been viewed 11 times, yet one of the albums with pics of me has had over 3000 viewings.

I decided to put the glow-in-the-dark paint off for a while. Because I like it pitch dark when I’m sleeping at night, I wouldn’t want that much stuff glowing other than the mobile that’s in there right now.

I’ve once again cut my calories way back as I’ve jumped back up to 126 pounds.

I didn’t hold back yesterday, though. We set the bombs off at 4 AM, then drove to Casa Grande and found a Denny’s by the freeway where I got fried shrimp and a T-bone steak. I’d have loved to have finished it all, but I was quite full by the time I was half done with it, so I certainly didn’t have the room for the chocolate peanut butter pie that looked so good. Tom and I decided to go back sometime just for their desserts with maybe a large order of fries for us to split.

A few hours before we left, we had quite a storm, and of course, both the front and back doors just had to leak. It never fucking fails when it comes to leaks! I guess the doors need more weather stripping.

Last night it rained pretty hard for a few hours, but tonight we didn’t get much. Just a light rain.

Tom said he’s got to watch for snakes more closely. He went out the side stairs to roll up the car windows in the late afternoon. When he turned to head back inside, the big rattlesnake was coiled up sound asleep under the stairs. It’s a damn good thing they’re deaf! He entered the front door instead. This is why we really want to replace these stairs with something that nothing can get under. It’s just too hard to see under every section of these stairs we’ve now got. Especially the ones by the AC which they love.

Tom said he saw a tiny snake peering out at him from under the house, though he couldn’t tell what kind of snake it was. Just that it wasn’t a rattlesnake of any kind because it didn’t have a triangular head.

Haven’t seen my roadrunner in days now.

On the way back from Casa Grande, we cruised by the rentals. The furthest one looks like it may be vacant and the second one’s still well-kept. As for the slobs closest to us, the trash wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be, but it’s not a pretty sight back there, either. The two big dogs they’ve got didn’t help the scene, but at least they were in a pen. Still, why do the young, loud kids and the dogs always, always have to go closest to us?!

Anyway, Tom says he doubts all of the shit back there is theirs. It could’ve blown over from the other rentals before this one arrived. He also thinks that the trash in back is mostly the same trash that just gets shifted around when it’s windy, making it appear like there’s more and more coming in. Maybe so, but I still wish people would keep their shit contained to their own land. It’s terrible everywhere in this town. Even in sections where they have trash services. I know it’s mostly because there are no laws about that yet here. Andy and I used to marvel in surprise at how clean Phoenix was compared to Springfield, but this was before we understood why. Before we knew of the strict laws out here. You might get a little fine back east for littering, but it’s a major felony out here like most things are. That was one of crazy Melinda’s charges. Anyway, once we do get laws pertaining to trash, people will be too scared to ignore them, for the most part, cuz they’ll know they’ll be practically hanged for it if they’re caught.

The renters still continue to be home only on weekends. During the week, they leave early and return after dark. Tom said he heard the kids outside on Sunday. I was surprised to hear they’d be out playing in this heat and with the snakes lurking about. I’m also glad they don’t play their music for us or take their noise into our house, though I really do think they’ll steal the peace when we do get a pool and some kind of porch. That’s probably still a ways away yet, though. I still worry that Tom will have anything but a guardian angel guiding him in his job search and that the devil will be the one guiding him. In other words, to all the wrong jobs so we can’t afford to do any more home improvements. If all he can get are shitty-paying jobs, then he’ll have to work two jobs which will mean that just like with the last job, he wouldn’t have the time to do anything even with all the money in the world available.

We also went by the house in front of next door and found that rather than there being stakes for more houses, it appears that the stakes are for where the house that’s there is to ultimately end up being placed. See, I had thought it was where it was going to be set up, but now we don’t think so. I guess they will end up straight in front of next door’s house rather than more like in between their house and ours. They’ll still be close enough for us to hear their dogs and kids, though, once the house is put together and occupied. I’ll still take the outside barks and screams over the inside bass, though I’d still prefer peace and quiet. That is, after all, why we moved out here.

It’s really frustrating just how quickly my eyesight is deteriorating. I’m getting more and more farsighted by the month, so it seems, but am still determined to put off a trip to the eye doctor as long as I can stand to. When I can no longer read, then it’ll be time to go. For now, I’m going to hope to at least do the rest of my 30s without glasses.

My skin, on the other hand, is now like it was in my 20s. Another thing that changes when you get into your 30s is your skin. It dries out and loses its firmness. Well, there really isn’t anything you can do to firm it back up, but I just love these shower gels and lotions! I’ve been using them like crazy.

While my strawberry Suave shampoo smells great, it really is cheap shit. It’s stripping my hair, making it all dry and straw-like, but I’ll use it all up. Then in November when I order from Yves, I’ll get some good stuff. It’s $6 for a bottle of shampoo and another $6 for a bottle of conditioner, but it’s of good quality (each bottle’s the same size as the shampoo I’m now using). It does what I need - moisturizes and detangles. It’s hard to find companies that are reliable, fast and inexpensive (though I wouldn’t call Yves cheap either. At least not without all the freebies they include), so I’ll probably use them from now on for everything other than my flavored Chap Sticks.

For the dog’s sake, I think it might be best if we forget about him. In an interior fence, he wouldn’t have much space to get away from the rattlesnakes when they come around, and without an exterior, he’d be free to get hit by cars or shot by someone who doesn’t want other people’s dogs on their land any more than we do.

Later…

There’s this job Tom really wants that he wants me to try to psychically influence him to get. It’s working at a testing grounds site for cars and it’d be a hell of a lot closer than the bank was. His guess is that they pay well, too. I’d love to see him get a job like this. However, 95% of the population doesn’t get their “ideal job.” Most people hate their jobs, or they at least don’t like them if they don’t downright hate them. I just hope we don’t end up suffering financially no matter where he works. It just wouldn’t be fair after all the years we struggled in the past and I’m sick of the setbacks. We work so hard to get to a certain point, then something or somebody comes and tears it all apart. Well, our lives haven’t been torn apart like it was when the welfare bums were onto us, but I fear a serious setback.

Tom won $10 on a bingo scratch ticket, so that’s cool.

I got a letter from Mary and one from José to her. I only briefly skimmed through his letter to her. The highlights were Clarence and smut. I told her I’d piggyback their letters, but I don’t want either of them to get carried away. Weekly letters are enough since stamps aren’t very cheap and since they have to come out of my personal allowance. Doing for others for free is one thing, but paying to do for others is another. I know Mary will try to get stamps to me, though, whenever she can. It’s not like she’s taking advantage of me. It’s fate that always takes advantage of me! As fate would have it, her aunt’s probably not going to want to send me money because Mary says they’re having a tough time of it financially themselves, and as fate would have it, the jail pigs steal half the stamps Mary tries sending. Maybe José will send stamps every now and then too, though somehow I doubt he’ll even consider it.

Anyway, she was bothered by my not trusting José, though she knew I was just looking out for her and said she hadn’t told me of his case because she was afraid I’d be prejudiced, and so I told her I’d lighten up on him and reminded her that what I think shouldn’t matter anyway. It’s what she thinks that matters. If she’s happy, then I’m happy she’s happy. I still don’t think he’s all that great of a guy, though. Meaning, he may not be a murderer, but I’m sure he was a gang-banging druggie. His brother sure was, from what Mary finally told me. I guess some cock took a shot at David over drugs and David emptied a gun into him, killing him instantly. Well, David had been threatening to kill this guy, but José never took it seriously since most threats are bullshit. I guess that’s why he’s locked up; because he never called the cops and told him about the threats. Jose should’ve kept his mouth shut and not admitted to the cops that David made the threats. He should’ve insisted he knew nothing about it and kept quiet. How else would they have proven he knew about the threats?

Mary said she knew too many people with tats to buy that it was a sign of aggression and Tom agreed with her, saying it’s a popular trend for all young people today to have tats.

She also explained to me how they met in Fort Myers when it was co-ed and that he encouraged her not to cut herself with the razor that other inmates had slipped her which is nice.

Anyway, she’s still in denial over the theft of her money, so it seems. She told me to send it back to her when I get it because she’s not well off money-wise. I wish I could get and send it to her, I told her. What I don’t understand is how this happened so fast. One minute she was offering me the $65-a-month job, saying that’d still leave her $100, and now she’s broke. I know she mentioned her uncle recently lost $800 to gambling, so I guess that’s got something to do with it.